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People often ask why I seem to be so happy; my usual reply is

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Introduction

Personal/Reflective People often ask why I seem to be so happy; my usual reply is "because I'm alive". It was six days after my eleventh birthday, so naturally I was happy, but by the end of this day there are feelings I had that I never knew existed. I recall my primary six teacher asking my class to gather round her as she had something to tell us. She said that a man had gone into a primary school in Dunblane and started shooting at innocent children. The thought that someone could this came to me as a great shock but I did not even consider what might have happened to my cousin, Emma, who lives there. In all honesty I had forgotten about her. It wasn't until I walked past my house window after school and I could see my mum crying, I filled up with worry but the thought of what had happened to my cousin still never entered my mind. ...read more.

Middle

She could not say anything. She gave me the one thing I needed the most, love. As my cousin came from my dad's side of the family I knew I would have difficulty when I would have to see or speak to him. I saw him that night. It was as I expected. He was hurting, maybe more than I was. Seeing my dad looking so weak was an awful sight. All the life that I'm used to seeing in him had been slowly drained away. I wanted to stay with him as he looked frail and in need of some company, but he said he was going out to Dunblane that night. That is something I could not face. The day after I decided to go back to school. I thought if I went to a place where all my friends were I would maybe be distracted from all the hurt that was deep inside of me. I walked down to school with some of my closest friends, but the first topic of conversation was the inevitable. ...read more.

Conclusion

My mum suggested counciling as I was obviously unable to cope with death. I refused as I knew if I did that I would have to talk about it. To this day still a have a great reluctance to talk about the horror of what happened. This experience dramatically changed my outlook on life. As a person I don't feel that there was much of a change but the way I now look at things is different. I knew that for Emma's sake I had to go out and face the world. As the clich´┐Ż goes, I now take every day in my stride. I smile to show that I'm grateful that I'll experience what life has to offer me. To this day still the topic arises, in classes a teacher may mention it. When this is talked about I get an indescribable feeling going throughout my body. This may be the way that emotion works. I'm not sure. All over the world people are still using handguns. No matter how many protests take place people still feel the need. My only question is why? Why shoot someone? Is there a sense of power that comes with that? 1 Jonathan Hughes ...read more.

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