“Then move not,
while my lips, by thine,
my sin is purg’d.”
(Act I Scene 5 Line 105 – 106)
and after our holy kiss i was called away by my mother and then found out my Romeo, the Romeo i kissed was non-other than Romeo Montague! "my love sprung from only hate" (Act 1 Scene5 Line137).
Later after the Capulet Ball, and all the household was still and all the household was still, i stepped out onto my balcony and started thinking out loud, thinking that about how, out of all the men in Vernona, at the Capulet ball, out of all the guests, the one who my heart does beat strongly for ended up being the spawn of my fathers worst enemy. And all through my private console, Romeo was there listening to what i was saying however he did not speak until i had questioned myself about his name, i had said,
"So Romeo would,
were he not call'd,
Reatain that dear perfection that he owes
without that title."
(Act 2 Scene2 Lines 45 - 47)
and ended my thoughts with wishes that he would disown his name to this he answered "call me but love, and I'll be baptis'd, henceforth never will be Romeo" (Act 2 Scene 2 Lines 50 - 51). From that moment on we talked and the arrangements for our marriage were done, i was to send my faithful nurse to find Romeo and she was to finalise our arrangements.
That morning, when the clock struck the hour of nine, i sent my nurse to find Romeo and to give him a message. When after what seemed an endless wait for my nurse to return, she, after much pleading from myself announced that Romeo had said for her to tell me,
" ...Come to shrift this afternoon,
And there she shall at Frair Laurences cell,
Be shriv'd and Married."
(Act 2 Scene4 Lines 176 - 178)
Oh Maria, and he, my Romeo, was true to his word and we were wed that afternoon! My marriage was private, i, that afternoon had permission to go shrift were Romeo had arranged for us to be wed. It was witnessed by my faithful Nurse, the good Frair and the alter boys. I wish you could have been present but as you can probably tell it was very sudden and secretive.
The events which followed is where my perfect dream of life turns into a nightmare, from what I'm aware of after our marriage, i returned to the Capulet household and Romeo went to meet Benvolio and Mercutio however when he arrived, my kinsmen Tybalt was there, to fight him and according to my servants Mercution was killed by Tybalt because Romeo had refused to fight so Mercutio fought for him however after the loss of his best friend, Romeo lost his head and went after Tybalt. Tybalt was then slain by Romeo. And my Romeo, grief stricken, was banished forever from Sweet Verona. When i heard this news, i felt as if my heart had been torn into two pieces one bleeding with grief for my dead kinsmen and the other for my husband Romeo and the thought of never seeing him again. The thought that was floating in mind the most was
"Tybalt dead? My dearest Cousin and My dearer Lord?
Then Dreadful trumpet sound the general doom!"
(Act 3 Scene 2 Line 66 - 67)
i sill loved Romeo but i morned for my kinsmen's death, torn between my family's grief and my love for Romeo, i cried and had no reassurance until my wedding night.
On my wedding night, Romeo, though he should not have been there, was in my chamber and we consumated our marriage and when the morn did arrive, my heart broke as my Romeo said "Farewell, farewell! One kiss and I'll descend" (act 3 Scene5 Line 42). When Romeo took his last kiss and descended down my balcony, to leave it felt as my heart was not longer working and the only way it would have worked again was if my dearest Romeo stayed. But i knew that would not be possible.
If losing my Romeo wasn't enough as soon as dear husband had descended down my balcony, my Mother entered my chamber and amongst our console she announce that my father had arranged for me to marry Paris, however when i stood up to the thought and claimed i was against it my father said,
"Is she not proud?
Doth she not count her bless'd, Unworthy as she is,
that we have wrought so worthy a gentlemen to be her bride?"
(Act 3 Scene 5 Line 143 - 145)
and when i answered
"Not proud you have;
But thankful that you have, Proud i can never be of what i hate;
But thankful even for hate that is mean't love"
(Act 3 Scene 5 Lines 143 - 145)
my father got extremely "hot" with me and almost at once said that if i did not attend Saint Peters church with Paris, he would drag me there or he would disown me! And when i asked the advice of my Nurse her reply was one i would not have expected to hear, she said amongst other things that Romeo was banished so he could not come back to Fair Verona to challenge me for marrying Paris and that she thought it would be best if i did marry him!
After what seemed like hours of grief and reflection on the thoughts of marrying Paris when i was already married to Romeo who i love with all my heart, i decided to seek the advice of Frair Laurence's cell to find Paris talking to the Frair Laurence about the wedding.
When i entered the conversation between Paris and the Friar stopped and Paris turned to talk to me, i answered and talked to him politely because i have nothing against Paris. Whe Paris left i was able to talk to the Frair, we talked about how i was going to not marry Paris, i, on the night before the wedding i was to take a sleeping potion so that i would fall into a deep sleep, so it seemed i was dead, then the good Frair would send word to my Romeo so that when i awake he would be there to take me away with him!
So now you know all my affairs which have made me fall down the endless spiral of darkness that I'm am in. Maria it is the night before my wedding to Paris in a few minutes i will take the sleeping potion, and soon i will be with my Romeo, i have given the Frair instructions that if something may happen to deliver this letter with a note saying something has happened, but lets us pray that something will not!
May God be with you my Faithful Friend.
