“Erin? Is that you?” Dad asks the instant the door sounds.
“Yeah, Dad. I’m home.”
I turn on my bedroom light, and close the door. There’s no need to worry about the sound it makes now. Dad is already awake.
My shoulder throbs from all the weight I’m carrying. I put my book bag down in the corner of the room. Placing my orange bag on my bed, I begin to take out all the clothes that need washed. First, my tennis shorts, then my shirt, then my socks, then my shoes. Yep, everything’s there. Next, I take out my school clothes: my jeans, my shirt, and my shoes. Good, didn’t forget anything. Finally, I take the clothes and put in them in the hamper. I’ll never remember in the morning.
I go to my closet to pick out my pajamas, choosing my undergarments first. Next, I choose a shirt to sleep in. The last article is my pants. Everything has to match. If they don’t, I have to put them back. Another ten-minute process.
Time to shower. The smell of grease, fries, and fat, fast food is overwhelming at night. I slowly slide the door closed, turn on the light, and open the hamper. Showering quickly, I make sure to wash my hair twice. I hate stiff hair. I turn off the water and dry myself. Then, I get dressed, and get ready to brush my teeth.
I take my toothbrush out of the holder. The nice, shiny, pink cover needs removed. Taking off the cover and placing it to the left of the sink, I wet my toothbrush once and apply the toothpaste. I wet the brush again. Brushing my teeth slowly, I make sure to get every tooth perfectly clean. Last, I slowly make soft circles on my front teeth making sure to get them cleaned extremely well. I run the brush under the water again, and then rinse my mouth with the hottest water that will come out. Spit the water out, then rinse again. It’s normal in my routine. Now my mouth is clean enough to talk.
I sneak to the computer room, and quietly snatch the phone from its charger. Returning to my room is difficult. I have to slowly close the door to avoid waking my parents. I hold the phone under a pillow so my parents can’t hear me dial. Placing my finger on the 9, I dial his number with ease even though I cannot see the buttons I am pushing. Memorizing the location of the numbers on the phone has made this action easier. I quickly cover my head before he answers the phone to drown out the sound of my voice. He picks up and we talk for a while. The floor creaks as the furnace turns on. The sound is reassuring to me now. We hang up after a half an hour and I sneak the phone back to the computer room. I’m almost ready to sleep.
I walk back to my room and close the door for the final time. Turning on the radio to Q 102, I grab the pink dinosaur he bought me for Easter, and climb into bed. Quickly I pray for my family and my friends and thank God for all the days he has given me. When I am finished talking to God, I shut my mouth, and then my eyes. The excitement of the day runs through my head again.
I wonder about the events that have happened. If I had said something differently, or acted in a different way, what would have happened? Thinking about the fun things that occurred at work and school today makes me smile. My friends are impossible to replace. My mind seems to jump around more quickly now. That’s the sign I was looking for. I am getting close to sleep. As I begin to drift off, I listen to the radio. The words I hear begin to float in my head: “I probably wouldn’t be this way. I probably wouldn’t hurt so bad. I never pictured every minute, without you in it. Oh, you left so fast. Sometimes I………..”
