The poet’s words in stanza 3 emphasize the idea that his marriage dyeing is also affecting his children in a negative way. “David, my son, my loved rival” suggest that he is competing with his son for the love of his wife, the tone also suggests jealousy because his wife pays more attention to his son than him. “And Julia, my tapering daughter” this shows that she is
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growing up and distancing herself from him, they are gradually getting less close and just like him and his wife their relationship is dyeing. “I turn their wine to water.” The tone of sarcasm is used here once again because it reverses the well-known phrase “water to wine”. It shows that he feels he is making their enjoyment tasteless and spoiling their lives and worsening the situation through his relationship with his wife.
Another tone adopted by the poet is a cold tone against his wife. “And Helen, my partner of all these year,” He uses the word partner to show that she is no longer considered a lover. “My sack of sighs” suggests she is a burden to him, and the alliteration and onomatopoeia used in this sentence emphasizes the fact that she complains all the time but yet she still hurts, I think she loves him still but hurts because their love is fading away. “With injured, bovine eyes.” Another piece of evidence that he no longer considers her a lover is “there must have been passion once” this shows that there is no real physical contact anymore, maybe because of an indifference or because they are antagonistic towards one another. “But neither she nor I could bear to have its ghost come prowling from its dark and frowsy lair.” I think this is an important sentence in the theme of death and marriage because it shows that none of them could stand any physical contact, and he compares their love to a ghost, something rotten, decomposing, dead, buried and gone. I feel that this strongly emphasizes how dead their marriage is because he compares it to a ghost, something that no longer exists in real life.
In stanza 6 the poet’s word choice suggests that they are only still together because of their marriage vows, and because of familiarity. “And we, to keep our nuptials warm, still wage sporadic fireside war” this shows that they keep their relationship interesting with arguments, but each of their
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words are like bullets, but the arguments have become that regular they are numb to each others insults. “Numb with insult each yet strives to scratch the other raw.” The writer’s violent language paints a picture in words of the strong verbal battle between him and his wife. Also the conversion of the word raw to war in the second and fourth lines this draws attention to the strangeness of the way they keep their relationship going.
In the final stanza the writer’s language confirms that he has never been happy in his marriage. “Twenty five yeas we’ve now survived” the word survived shows that it has been a struggle, it has been something that he hasn’t enjoyed. “I’m not sure either why or how” here the writer seems surprised, he doesn’t quite understand why his marriage lasted so long because he feels it was dead long before their silver wedding anniversary.
Finally the last two lines the writer used a ply on words with “A wreath of quarrels set” he uses the irony here to show a play on the laurel wreath given to victors. In a way he is questioning himself here. Is there a victor? Will anybody win? The final line also shows hat the poet is getting older and more stressed, the relationship has taken its toll on him physically, mentally and emotionally. “On my tired and balding brow” I think that this poem of reflection is the writer questioning himself on why he is keeping something going that clearly died a long time ago.
