Smoking. I feel that there should be laws against smoking. Right now there are laws against buying them.

Smoking

In this essay am going to be talking about smoking and my opinions on this topic, I hope that this speech explains why you should disagree with smoking.

I feel that there should be laws against smoking. Right now there are laws against buying them. You have to be 21 to buy cigarettes. But my question is if you have to be 21 why do people under 21 have possession of cigarettes? We all already know that smoking is bad for you. On the news all the time they have something about smoking and why it is so bad for you. Even on the cigarette box there is a message about what smoking can do to you, and this message is saying that Cigarettes are hazardous to your health. But still millions of people are smoking.

I see it like this... If they put a label on a cigarette box saying "These will eventually kill you" people will still smoke it. We all know the dangers of smoking, why not put a law out to make it illegal?

This is a preview of the whole essay

I think the reason people do not comprehend that smoking is so bad for you, is because they are already addicted and they don’t care what it does to them. But if the law made it illegal to sell them, then many people would not have access to cigarettes. So they could not smoke and millions of lives would be saved each year, because both my parents smoke it has made me realise how bad the effects of smoking are, and I won’t ever smoke.

Smoking produces lung cancer that eventually kills you. Your lungs turn black and that makes it harder for you to breathe. You have the choice, if you smoke you will be cutting your life short by 20 years. Just think you could choose whether you can live longer or cut your life short and increase the pain in your life. I feel if the government wants to save lives. They should pass a law banning smoking very very soon. But our government is too worried about little side effects and problems, such as riots, and people going crazy, all because they won’t agree with the law.

Drugs are generally recognized as of the greatest problems in the UK. According to the statistics, tobacco has the highest death rate. Smoking is a very popular habit, even though we all know that smoking is very dangerous. Millions of people around the globe want to quit smoking for medical reasons such as having already two heart-valve replacement surgeries. What did some people do to quit smoking? Some people substituted chewing-gum
for smoking.

Smoking causes all sorts of cancer. It affects your brain and it does not prolong your life, not only in England, but all over the globe. Every person knows how smoking can affect our health. People know how harmful it is. They learned how harmful the cigarette from their parents, teachers, and others. Ironically, they still continue smoking! They are addicted to it, and most addicts want to be cured.

The easiest ways to prevent smoking are simple, most smokers start smoking at a young age, if you don’t smoke while you’re in school, you are more likely not to smoke later on, out of the ones who try to quit only about 3% succeed. Where's our right to quit?

As you can see, smoking doesn’t exhibit and positive effects for your life. It may seem good for the time but when you are diagnosed with cancer it won’t be cool to go through the pain and the Chemotherapy. I hope this essay has explained everything about why you should disagree with smoking.

Peer Reviews

Here's what a star student thought of this essay

sydneyhopcroft

10th of Mar 2012

Quality of writing

The Quality of Written Communication (QWC) is average, but not indicative of the standard requirement or expected at GCSE level. There is frequent comma splice when the requirement punctuation point is a full stop, and there are sporadic moments where capital letter are used randomly when they are not required. This must be seen to before candidates hand their work in, because work like this is only hindered by a poor QWC that can easily be rectified.

Level of analysis

The candidate shows a number of indicators of someone working at a low B grade for GCSE. There are many persuasive techniques used by this candidate that are effective (statistics, Second Person address), however, I would have liked to see a more considerate counter-argument to those that have become addicted to smoking cigarettes. Stating that only 3% of people that are addicted are successfully in quitting is shooting yourself in the foot, as the candidates' entire argument becomes null and void to those that already smoke (the intended audience for this piece), and because those that don't smoke won't need to read this argument, the candidate has alienated all chance of their own success. TO make sure this doesn't happen in the future, it is recommended that the candidate thinks logically about the statistics they provide (whilst it is not a requirement that they are fact, they must be rational).

Response to question

This is an essay response to a Writing to Persuade task. The candidate is persuading cigarette smokers from becoming addicted to a habit that can potentially kill. It's a sound enough argument, and the candidate makes a good use of persuasive techniques like statistics (though the statistics themselves may need altering) and alternatives to smoking. It would be better if this candidate had chosen a more effective counter-argument and realised the addictive qualities of smoking cigarettes - they don't even mention nicotine. And a lot of their reasoning and accusations against the government not enforcing a law against smoking is extremely infeasible. Feasibility is imperative for any Writing to Argue/Persuade/Advise task as it not only shows an awareness of the intended audience, it shows examiners an ability to think rationally and logically.

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