“You look like shit!” I’d listen to my words echo in the back of my head till it put a suicidal impact on my life, till masochism was an option. I took a glance out of my window, hoping for a miracle to come my way.
I saw a boy, five foot eleven, baby face with an unforgettable smile. We made eye contact and I saw a sparkle in his eyes I’d never previously seen. I looked away, to the people on the bus and I got off at my usual stop. I was crossing the road and I saw him approaching me. My nerves took the best of me as I saw him face to face.
I stopped and stared; my heart was beating faster than ever. I scanned him from head to toe, Dolce and Gabbana hooded jumper, Valentino trousers and Nike Air Max’s. I was stunned.
“Wha gwan David”
“Damn how’d you know my name?”
To tell the truth I didn’t know him, but I felt the urge to get to know him.
My pulse must’ve dropped drastically as just walking by his side gave me a sense of comfort. In our in depth conversation we had a level of understanding I’d never experienced with a boy before. I spoke to him like I knew him, like he was an old friend instead of some stranger.
We’d been walking for twenty minutes when I found myself looking at the spot where I’d first laid my eyes on him.
“Come coch.”
I followed him to a road I’d never seen before, we saw a bench and we were both quick to sit and relax.
Two hours passed and we were engaging in an extremely deep conversation. As he leaned over I felt his warmth on my skin. He kissed my lips so sweetly.
“I saw you and I was amazed, you were so different to what I’m used to.” I laughed I felt like I was worth a million dollars I knew he was though.
“You have a fault though.”
My heart sank; so many things went through my head in that short space of time. I waited anxiously for him to come up with a long list of faults.
“Spit it out den boy”
“Confidence.”
I was confused, I laughed nervously as I watched him bite his nails. I didn’t understand, was I too cocky, too feeble, did I create a false impression of myself?
“You need more, you could be a great girl. You need it so much, you could flip your life at a hundred and eighty degrees angle.”
We were walking back to the bus stop and I reconsidered what he’d said to me, if I had more confidence maybe I’d be happier. I visualised myself walking with pride. I felt better already.
The British sun was beating down on my head through the window. The traffic was hectic; I was stuck on a number thirteen bus. I closed my eyes reminiscing the times that I stared at my reflection in the mirror “You look beautiful!” I wish I’d have said that and I wish that I’d have looked at myself, thought highly of myself and had a bit more confidence. I took a glance out of my window knowing a miracle had come my way.
