Tales Of The Unexpected.

Sian Dudley

Tales Of The Unexpected

Mr Wandsworth lived in a huge mansion in the north of England. Mr Wandsworth was a short man about five foot six and he had an orange tanned face, the crows feet next to his eyes and the wrinkles around his neck suggested he was not in his prime, about late thirties. On his head there were only a few thin, faded, brownie grey hairs, which once upon a time were full lush golden brown. He dressed in an attire only fit for a man going to a seventies disco, or wearing a wacky outfit you haven’t worn since you were sixteen for charity at work or some other special occasion to look like a fool. However this was not the case with Mr Wandsworth, in fact Mr Wandsworth rather enjoyed looking the way he did. He took pride in his azure jacket that was far too small, and his white frilled cravat but how could I forget his green bell-bottom trousers. Mr Wandsworth worked (if I can call it work) in a casino cheating the other players into losing so he would collect their money. He only worked on Tuesdays and Wednesdays but that was enough to get him rolling in cash.

Every morning Mr Wandsworth would wake up, ring the bell for service, and one of his maids would rush in with his hot black coffee with 3 sugars and the Daily Times newspaper, which he would read in bed. Mr Wandsworth hired a staff of about twelve, (all women of course) and would make them do absolutely everything for him, three chefs, six cleaners, two extras and one personal assistant, Debby. Debby was a small woman with black hair and extremely attractive, even though she worked for Mr Wandsworth as a P.A she was a very intellectual woman. Because she was one of those people who would do anything to help anyone she worked for this exceptionally unkind man with the purpose of trying to change his ways and make him into a better person who worked for what he got instead of conning them, and to treat women as equals. Before she worked as his P.A she used to be his lawyer and she pitied him so much she vowed she would work for him and change his life around. But after ten years of working for him she too was beginning to feel old and tired and like she couldn’t help this man not matter what she did, and she was right, he was a lost cause.

Every Monday morning Mr Wandsworth would send Debby down to the “large live fish” market to get a basking shark (a harmless but big shark that feeds on plankton just off the British coast, 30 feet long and about 4 tonnes, very tasty) .He liked to fatten the shark up for the big weekly feast on Friday. Although Mr Wandsworth was a nasty man he had no shortage of friends, money hungry gold diggers and women that wanted him not for his beer belly. (Mr Wandsworth had so much cash he could have been Dr. Evil and they would have ...

This is a preview of the whole essay

“Debby!!!” shouted Mr Wandsworth from the hall

“Yes sir?” said Debby in a small voice from the top of the stairs; she had a pile of washing in her hand

“Move your fat arse.” Said Mr Wandsworth who was now tapping his feet impatiently. Debby put down the washing and ran down the stairs, she knew she was late

“Get down to the fish market I want that shark in my tank in no less than 2 hours and try not to break a nail!!” he ordered as he smacked her bum and chuckled to himself on his way up the stairs. Debby nodded looking very nervous and degraded.

“Yes sir I will go straight away!” she said whilst putting her grey coat on which Mr Wandsworth watched her do with his arms folded and a little smile on his face. As she was buttoning up her coat she made her way over to the door and turned the handle as if she couldn’t wait to get out of there.

“And Debby…my angel” said Mr wandsowrth sinisterly

“Yes sir” Debby sighed. She didn’t turn around; she kept her back to him and still had her hand on the door handle

“REMEMBER WHO IS BOSS!!!” he yelled at her. Debby ran out of the door and put her head in her hands and cried. She had tried to quit before but Mr Wandsworth had just smacked her round the face and called her ungrateful.

“How dare you, I put a roof over your head and pay you plenty of money and this is how you repay me!! Get back to work!!” Debby dried her tears and got in the car

One hour later she returned in her car with a truck behind her. She got out of her car and found the key to the garage. Three large men got out of the truck

“Just put the shark in the tank” she said as she opened the garage door to reveal a large room with a circular glass tank filled with water. Over the top of the tank there was a retractable long black plank that stretched over the top of the tank about 18 inches thick. The men looked at her and then looked at the fish.

“What is this for madam?” said one of them. Debby ignored him and looked to the plank whilst putting her umbrella up.

“Hold on a second let me go up there and sort out the feeding plank. I have to move it so you can get the fish in. Hold this” She gave one of them her umbrella and walked over to the tank and climbed the ladder (Her maids uniform wasn’t quite built for climbing ladders, or rain but that didn’t worry her). She stood by the plank, still holding onto the ladder. She was about to push the button to bring the plank in when suddenly she stopped. It was as if she was looking at an insect or some other animal and she knew if she moved she would most definitely scare it away, she must have been still like that for a while because one of the men from the truck shouted up.

“Er…Miss are you ok up there???…Miss??”. Debby blinked and shouted back down.

“Of course erm…. let me sort out the shark you just go on we can handle everything here” she said in a rush climbing down the ladder. She handed one of the men a twenty-pound note, took her umbrella back and sent them on their way.

“But Miss accidents do happen, you must have trained personnel around”

“I AM ASKING YOU PLEASE!!, Just go, I can handle everything” she said in a cool calm voice after she shouted. She had frightened the three men a little, being such a small woman with such a big but small voice. So they left the shark and drove off. Debby looked around then ran inside.

“Mr Wandsworth??” shouted Debby excitedly

“The stupid fool has gone down to Hot Pink’s Casino for a drink, he wont be back until later” said another maid. Debby smiled.

“Grab all the other girls and tell them I need their help with something outside” said Debby rushing back out the door. The other maid nodded

On the Friday as normal Mr Wandsworth invited round all his friends for the big feast.

“DEBBY!!!” shouted a very drunk Mr Wandsworth. Debby was up stairs pad-locking and bolting the safe with his money in. (like I said Debby was in charge of EVERYTHING)

“Yes Mr Wandsworth sir!” said Debby surprised

“Where is the feast?” he yelped. Debby ignored him with a little chuckle.

“I put a bottle of your favourite wines in the cellar Sir ” said one of the other maids

“AND I’LL GO AND GET IT NOT SOME SWISHY MAID!!!” babbled Mr Wandsworth slurring his words.

After about ten minutes Debby came down stairs. She looked in the dining room and saw all his drunken guests sitting on the table and acting like primates but there was no sign of Mr Wandsworth. Debby looked around and couldn’t find him anywhere. She walked calmly into the kitchen and all the maids in there stopped cooking.

“Well is it done girls?” said Debby

“Yes, and I hope you are right about this” said one of the other maids

“Of course I am, nothing will taste as sweet as this”

“ARRRGEEE!!!” The scream came from the tank room in the far left of the house. The other maids looked at Debby. She ran the whole way to the tank room, flung open the door and looked into the tank. Debby stood their not moving with her hands clutched over her mouth she looked like she was going to be sick and then got over it.

“Oh now that is awful” she said unenthusiastically. Debby walked out into the hall and picked up the telephone.

“Hello uncle it’s Debby…yes that’s right called last Monday, did you get me those twelve one way tickets to Tenerife …yes Mr Wandsworth is gone… Well the feeding plank must have broken whilst he was looking at the shark… yes I was up there on Monday when we put the shark in, and you will never guess but the bolts were loose…yea all of them…. yes…well basking sharks are harmless but it is funny how sometimes when one is ordering a shark, basking can often sound like Mako…of course I didn’t fix the plank I may have broken a nail! And besides I’m just a woman what can a woman do!” Debby put down the telephone.

“Is it done then” said the maids behind her all waiting in anticipation

“Yes it is” Debby said with a large cheer. They sent Mr Wandsworth’s guests home and the maids partied long into the night and in the morning before their flight they had a feast of Mako shark and wine.