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Teenage Survival Guide

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They're everywhere. Parents they're here, they're there, they're practically everywhere! Most scientists try to solve the mysteries of life but the biggest mystery of life which even Sherlock Holmes could not solve, are parents. You make think parents are normal but really parents are like robots programmed to make our lives a misery. They are also programmed to do household jobs such as hoovering, ironing and washing the dishes or jobs outside of the home, example office work. Whenever parents take their children out of the house, their behaviour changes like a chameleon in a multicoloured forest. But in an effort to fit in they end up embarrassing their spawn. In genuine puzzlement they do not know what they have done. In the following article I will show you the wise ways teenagers should follow to survive with parents. Breakfast When I wake up in the morning to the smell of baked beans on toast, my mouth starts watering and I find it hard not to boast about my mum's cooking. But before that teenagers approach the sacred room of the house i.e the bathroom they meet with other siblings who are determined to not let anyone enter before them this is the fiercest rivalry of the day and so the teenager's day has begun. ...read more.


That is why none of the rules make sense like go to sleep before the sun sets and wake up when you hear the sound of cockle-doodle-do. Like what's all that about? Parents when they become adults, they lose the feelings they had when they were teenagers. That is why the house rules will never be abolished because as adults they find the rules which they dreaded, loveable. The never ending express The drive which never ends, yes you've got it, the drive to school. Lucky teenagers find other means of transport such as the bus or train but for some whose school is far away they have no other alternative but to hop on the never ending express. It goes on Monday to Friday fifty two weeks in a year for approximately six to eight years. Payment day 'Mummy have you got it?' said the teenager. 'Got what?', replied the parent in absolute puzzlement. 'Oh that,' realizing what the teenager was talking about. 'I shan't be long just going to get it from the bank goochie goochie goo', 'MUM I'm not four years old anymore.' Yes the day has arrived, the day all teenagers yearn for, pocket money day. This day is when the teenager has absolute power. ...read more.


If in a quandary, pick up a magazine and hide your face in it. That works most of the time. As the doctor's door opens with a groan, teenagers enter with their parents. The parents speak of strange going ons in the teenager like anorexia and obesity proposing with certainty that this is what is wrong with the teenager. 'Although teenagers are susceptible to these conditions they have absolutely no relation to migraine' the doctor reassures the parent. The teenager is once again triumphant in the contrasting world and the proof was in the prescription: one tablet of paracetamol. Expert's conclusion Being a teenager for approximately three years without dying from embarrassment, I now cautiously regard myself as being an expert when dealing with parents. Yes even yours I hear you ask so give me a bell if you are in a spot of bother. The thing is that this cycle will never end. All I can say to comfort you is "The fun will start when you too become a parent" but for now to stay half a step ahead follow these three golden rules and you should have a decent teenage life: * Never panic. * Wait till your parents finish what they are saying before replying. * Whenever you want to do something important remind your parents compromise is a two way road. ...read more.

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