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Teenage Survival Guide

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Teenage Survival Guide by Matthew Smithies. Between about 13 and 18, are the hardest years of any person's life. People think being a teenager is easy, and that you just get to muck about and do whatever you want, but they've forgotten. They've forgotten how many trials and tribualtions we have to endure and how many increbily difficult things we have to navigate through like violence, religion or the Ultimate Hardship, girls. This 'Teenage Survival Guide' is to help people like you make it through to the "Glorius Years of Adulthood". PARENTS: During your teenage years, they can be the bain of your life. They're bloody difficult to deal with. Every parent is like a snowflake because they're all different in the ways they want to torture you. TO be fair, some parents are very fair and nice but then again you do get some that are one step away from being minions of Beezlebub himself. You HAVE TO learn each parents weakness, whether it be good manners or a simple cup of tea, you have to know them inside-out to get what you want. ...read more.


A lot of people will tell you to be the "bigger man" and walk away. DO NOT LISTEN. That is total crap. All it will do is getting you beaten up. At least if you put up a fight, you have a chance. Especially if you're with mates. If someone's getting a bit mouthy or rude to you, don't get riled up. Calm them and yourself down. If it doesn't work, try to ACT as calm as possible, especially if they're trying to intimidate you. this will give them the impression the either you're not scared of them, or you're a complete psycho and will just kill them straight up. Don't get aggressive. They'll just think YOU'RE getting mouthy. Overall, the best way to avoid violence or conflict is to be as nice and reserved as possible. Don't show any extreme emotion, but if conflict does arise, do your best to get the hell out of there or just get your big rugby-playing mate to back you up. ...read more.


Thinking about what you want to say (and maybe even practicing it) can be a life-saver. 2. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES use cheesy lines! Something like "How you doin'?" or "You remind me of a parking ticket 'cause you got FINE written all over you" WILL JUST GET YOU A SLAP! 3. Don't be yourself. At least not for the first date, You can reveal your BEST qualities but keep every mildy bad one quiet. These should help you for at least the first few dates, but after that, you're in unchartered territory my friend. No man ever comes back the same after what happens after the first few dates. CONCLUSION: Most of being a teenager revolves around your parents. You can't live with them can't live with out them.They are in control. As much as they can make your life a misery they can also make you feel like you are the greatest and happiest being on the planet. Never forget that they do so much that we never really appreciate. But just remember that when they do start to terrorise you the Teenage Survival Guide is here and willing to serve you. ...read more.

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