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Ten Seconds of Confession

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Ten Seconds of Confession PROLOGUE Father was very aware of this. Every other day, he would watch Dave walking around the gardens, thinking about her. He'd never seen such a touching sight. Something had to be done, and it had to be done now. Her mental materialization inside Dave's mind was causing such a huge influence on him that Father had to give him something he had never given anyone else before: the chance to momentarily materialize again. ~ As nature's alarm rang out loud, Dave woke up, ready to face another day in his new habitat. He had already lost track of the number of days since he had been here, but he knew that amidst the imperfection of the cloudy terrain beneath him, she was waiting for him. Although so much time had passed since he had last seen her, her face was carved into his mind, and he was sure it was the same for her; although he wasn't so sure that he was as live as she would've wanted him to be. Regardless, he lived on, and as day by day passed, Dave continued thinking about her. He simply couldn't get her out of his mind. His new habitat was extraordinary. Everything was perfect: birds chirping merrily; children prancing around here and there, and so on. ...read more.


This was the chance he had been waiting for all this time, to return once more back to earth. He had to take it. "Terra firma." ~ A flash of light. A rush of wind. Earth. That was all. As Dave slowly made his way back down to earth, he looked around, just to see that nothing had changed. He recognized where he had landed - it was the very place where he had last been: the dark alley way. The dusty bins. That vandalized wall. That fence in front of the wall. It was all real. As he looked around, images of the old lady and that cruel man flashed into his mind, but he shook them off, obliging to stay on task. Finding her wasn't hard. He knew that at this time of day she would be at home sipping some coffee, getting ready to leave for work. He had no problem making it home, although it was odd that the weather had suddenly turned colder and the wind had begun to pick up speed. Walking around the corner, Dave saw something that struck him like a bull would strike a red flag. There she was with her flowing hair, her deep, blue eyes, her rosy checks, and her smile. ...read more.


During a few moments throughout the writing, I used pathetic fallacy in order to mirror what Dave is feeling or to foreshadow events that are about to happen. An example would be the fact that the weather suddenly becomes colder when Dave is about to realize that the love of his life has already moved on. I tried to keep the dialogue in the text simple but effective. I tried to use it as a tool to help Dave realize that he is actually very disturbed by his love for this girl - something he is not aware of. Short sentences were used at times in order to prove that he is in fact in reality, such as when he arrives at the alley, "The dusty bins. That vandalized wall. That fence in front of the wall." Towards the end of the writing piece, I start to slowly reveal everything, including the fact that his "new habitat" is actually what we know was heaven. Pathetic fallacy is used to show that Dave is at ease and that his mind has "untangled". Lastly, I changed the phrase "imperfection of the cloudy terrain beneath us" to "perfection of the cloudy terrain beneath us", not to show that it has literally become perfect, but has become perfect in his perspective, with his monitoring circle. ...read more.

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