Textual Transformation - The Merchant of Venice
The Merchant of Venice My life up until three years ago should not have been classified as that. It was more of a continual daily war of misery in my head against my father and his disgusting ways and actions. I didn't realize that there was another way of life until a relatively poor merchant's clerk named Lorenzo showed me what fun really was. This is probably why I fell in love and married him. He saved my soul from living an what seemed like an eternity in the dank dungeon-like house in which I was a virtual prisoner for most of my life. Because Shylock wouldn't waste his beautiful money on such trivial things as new candles, the house had a permanent sense of darkness, even in the hot bright Mediterranean summers. I used to think that God must have recognized this as a house of evil. In fact I think I remember saying to Launcelot that the "house is hell". That sense of darkness was the only sense I remember in Venice. There was no sense of colour, that costs money, remember; no sense of excitement. His money was entertaining enough. I only had two real friends in Venice, father's foolish servant Launcelot, and my future husband and saviour, Lorenzo. Of course even though father had all that money, he strangely never gave much of it to me. Maybe because he thought I would squander it, I don't know. But it meant that
I had little knowledge of what money was. Maybe this is why I ended up spending so much of it on my honeymoon. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have spend so much, but back then I didn't care, I was a young girl new to the world and in love. One day I woke up in Venice after having a dream that I was seeing myself in the future, a lonely virgin Jew, locked up in that dark old house, just like my father, with plenty of money and no happiness. Needless to say, I did not like this future ...
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I had little knowledge of what money was. Maybe this is why I ended up spending so much of it on my honeymoon. In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have spend so much, but back then I didn't care, I was a young girl new to the world and in love. One day I woke up in Venice after having a dream that I was seeing myself in the future, a lonely virgin Jew, locked up in that dark old house, just like my father, with plenty of money and no happiness. Needless to say, I did not like this future and decided there and then that I had to get out of that house and preferably Venice too. I knew my father would object, as I was the only living thing he loved, so I had to do it without his consent. At that time my relationship with Lorenzo was excellent, and I made hints to him that I wanted to leave my father. So he asked me to marry him, which was a shock, as he was a Christian and I a Jew. As he certainly wouldn't change his religion, I had to change mine. I was a little guilty about this because it was the religion of my ancestors, who had endured countless years of suffering in order to stay Jewish. But if that was what it took to get out of Shylock's grasp, then I happily became engaged to Lorenzo, which was not such a bad thing. Lorenzo came up with this wild plan for us to elope to Belmont, which involved me dressing up as a boy, which really wasn't necessary, and I think it was just Lorenzo having a joke. If it was a joke, then it was worth it to get out of Venice. However at this time the now-famous Portia-and-Bassanio plot was unfurling, which involved my father because of the three thousand ducats he lent. I'm sure he wishes he had never done so, as he has paid very dearly, maybe too dearly. He has lost all he cares about: me, his money and his religion. It was his fault and he deserved to be taught a lesson, but now he has nothing, and I thought would be even more spiteful to me and all my Christian friends, who brought him to his knees. The whole casket plot seemed to me like a bit of a farce, as Portia was supposedly the most beautiful woman in the Mediterranean, yet her whole life would be decided by chance. No real father would have subjected his daughter to such an existance. And even if her father told her to do this, she could have rejected it. I think it may have been another wild plan of Portia's to become more famous. It was a shame that Bassanio had to be caught up in Portia's vicious little games. Although he is very reckless and foolish with money, he seems quite happy to be Portia's little toy for her to use. Life was as I had never experienced before in Belmont, particularly when Lorenzo and I were alone in the palace. It was like being king and queen, with hundreds of servants to tend to our slightest demand. This was mixed with such contrasting emotions: the relief of getting away safely, the happiness I felt being with Lorenzo, and the guilt of leaving my father and becoming a Christian. This early guilt was nothing in comparison with the guilt I felt when they destroyed my father, because it was partly my fault. This is why Lorenzo and I have fallen out with Portia. She had no reason to publicly humiliate my father as she did. She seems like a nice enough person on the outside, with her various 'good' deeds such as lending us the palace, but she had no choice when she went to Venice. Her saving of Antonio needed to be done, as he is such a sweet gentleman who did nothing to deserve death. These I am certain were done to raise her public image. But then there is her more-obvious sinister side, shown by her tricking poor Bassanio into giving away her ring and scaring him by pretending to be very upset about it. There was no need for her to do that. People will probably think that I am jealous, which in no part is true. I have everything I need here. It was just as if Belmont had changed my life. It is a quiet, fairy-tale land in a different dimension to the life I led in Venice, with noise and crowds. Not that I experienced much of this, as I was usually in the house. Being alone there was even worse than being in a noisy stinking crowd. This contrast between Belmont and Venice seems to mirror that contrast of emotions I described earlier. Throughout this whole twist of experiences there was one ray of light-hearted humour. That was Launcelot, who is such a clown sometimes. But he also is happy about leaving my father to serve Bassanio. However he does not feel any of the guilt I do, as he was terribly mistreated by my father and was long overdue to leave. Much of the guilt that I feel for my father was greatly lessened because of a letter he wrote to me about a year ago, the only one since I have been in Belmont. In it he said that he never was stingy before my mother died, and that this whole fiasco had shown him how bad he had become. He said that he had changed considerably and was less bitter towards Antonio and Bassanio, just wanting to be friends with them. I don't think he ever knew that the lawyer was Portia. They, of course, rejected this as a way of his getting at their money. But I think he really did want to change. He invited Lorenzo and I back to Venice to see his new house and lifestyle. I thought I would go when I was ready, but back then it would have brought back too many horrible memories. I now deeply regret not going, as my father died two months after writing that letter. Lorenzo and I now have a small but homely lodge just outside the grounds of Portia's palace, living quite happily off the money my father left us, as well as Lorenzo's own new merchant business. We now have a one-year-old baby boy called Antonio, after the man who has indirectly changed my life for the better.
