It has been a while after Gatsby’s death but I cannot forget the events that happened in New York, nor can I make sense of what occurred. I remember I went to Daisy’s house for dinner and here my sense of human morality was questioned. I am a tolerant, open minded, honest man and I could not believe what I saw before me. Tom had received a phone call from his mistress; he was seeing another woman while being married to my cousin. I was disgusted at the time but I could not say anything because I thought perhaps this is the way things were in New York.
I spent most of my time in New York, trying to make sense of this love affair between Gatsby and Daisy. This Gatsby fellow was quite a nice man but he had a preoccupation with Daisy. I could not understand why. Daisy was a married woman and she had a daughter. Was this so imperceptible for Gatsby to see? Perhaps it was my principles that allowed this situation to look so immoral. I feel sorry for the man. The parties he hosted every weekend, trying to lure Daisy, trying to rekindle what they once had. All I could see at these parties were a lot of people with wallets full of money, with no real goal in life other than to be rich and stay rich; empty souls. I am glad that I was not one of them.
Gatsby had lied to me, to Daisy and to mainly himself. To this very day I still sit and wonder, what would have happened if Gatsby never found Daisy? I know for sure that he would not be dead. He was an interesting fellow. In his dream world he failed to see the past cannot be repeated. Why did I not stop him, I knew that his dreams were impossible, yet I just watched on. Perhaps I too believed that he could win Daisy over, perhaps I shared that feeling of hope.
Still, there must have been a reason that it was I, who had moved next door to Gatsby, I who made it possible for Gatsby to see his love once more. Why did I travel to New York to befriend this opulent fellow? I now believe that it was destiny, for my presence allowed Gatsby to see his love to fulfil all that seemed so unreal.
I cannot believe the lack of human decency that was shown by Tom and Daisy, but they are careless. All that mattered to them was money, they did not seem to care about any other person except for themselves, and they would not see anything wrong with what they are doing for they are so careless. None of them, Gatsby, Daisy or Tom belonged in the east. Neither did I.
I realise now that the lifestyle offered in New York is not the way of life for me. I do miss it. However it is the Midwest where I am myself, where lies and corruption is so far away and fictional.
I feel partly responsible for the deaths of Myrtle, Gatsby and George, if I had not moved to the East I believe there would be no extravagant parties, no sense of disillusionment, no affairs and no funerals. All that would be there would be a lonely soul waiting and wishing he could be with his true love once more.
I left the east with my own personal dreams shattered. I have never imagined how materialism controls people’s lives. I shall never return to the East, nor will I envisage the memories of New York again. Perhaps that is why I prefer to reminisce about this experience as a dream rather than reality; it was just the American ‘Dream’ right?