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The Commentary for the Reading Piece

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The Commentary for the Reading Piece Due to my strong interest in short stories and mysteries, I decided to write my story based around a mystery for people aged twelve or older. Firstly, I looked at the vocabulary because, it is very important to be able to understand and increase the tension if necessary in the story. The vocabulary in my story is fairly basic this is shown by, "Still in the back of my mind, I thought of the mysterious sack." The words that I have chosen are simple and easy to understand and I have used words like, "Dog" instead of another word like, "Canine". I also tried to build up the characters in my story even though it was a short story and did not allow much character building because I wanted the mystery to develop. ...read more.


Also, I decided to have fairly short sentences that were easy and simple for my target age range to understand. Such as, "I walked across the farmyard and knocked on the Farmer's door." The shortness of the sentences makes the story more tense and interesting, this also links to the shorter paragraphs because if the sentences are shorter then my particular paragraphs may make the points go quicker and speed the story up. Therefore enabling me to produce a story that moves quickly and effectively. I looked at my style model, which was written by Ruth Rendell called, "Some Lie and Some Die". I looked through at the sentences in her book and I found the sentences were quite long and descriptive shown by, "When he had finished, he waited for the tide to roll over him again, and it came pounding from and ...read more.


the weather bad and this might signify to the reader that something strange is going to happen in the story as shown by, "They ceased, and came bounding toward me, their faces muddy and wet, and the rain was beginning to fall." As regards to the changes in my piece, I did not change very much of it. But in version one, I knew that I had to include more of a description to the material I found to emphasise its importance. It was not enough to put, "It was just an old scrap of material" Secondly, a change was that I needed to link back certain parts of the story and included things like, "I remembered the events of the previous day." So I enjoyed writing this piece, the mystery is satisfactory and interesting and makes its targeted age range. Word count: 716 ...read more.

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