The Day That Changed My Life

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The Day That Changed My Life

I smoked for 38 years but it took me a moment to stop. No, it is not a joke; yet at the same time it is not completely as simple as that. This is my story.

Everything started with my first kiss. Yes, he was a smoker, and in addition to all the pleasures that a kiss can give there was a new to me irresistible masculine aroma which made the kiss unforgettable. Being haunted by the strong impression of the smell and the taste of a cigarette, and in desperate attempt to retrieve, at least, something of that date on a physical level, I stepped onto the forbidden territory and lit MY cigarette.

Now, looking back and realizing with astonishment that I smoked two thirds of my life, I experience mixed feeling about smoking.  On the one hand, I probably could have bought a house instead of all packets of cigarettes. Or I would not have felt awkward when, at times, my voice would become so husky and low that I was not able to speak to my pupils normally without stopping ”for a breather”.  On the other hand, I had a lot of new pleasures from smoking after the reason for the first try faded away.  The strongest one was the deep understanding of what REAL ADDICTION was about, and I enjoyed living with something that was beyond my control. Also many times during a day a cigarette was like a sorbet between the two courses – it would serve as a finishing line for one project and at the same time it would open the gates for the next step. (Now instead I make a deep breath!)

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I became addicted straight away; I did not have any second thoughts about giving up. I enjoyed smoking in the company, with my boyfriends and on my own. I never smoked walking along the streets but when I felt like smoking I would find a bench in the park or in some yard and have my cigarette as a reward, a push, and a break or as my drug.

When I was fifty, my life slowed down. I was content with where and how I lived, the pressures of work were in the past; I did not have ...

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