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The Diary of Eva Smith

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The Diary of Eva Smith Pearl Sakoane The story follows the tragic tale of a young woman in the beginning of the century left to fend for herself after being hurt and taken away from the things and people she most loved in her short life. Just before the World War started in Britain, inside she is slowly losing her own battles. August 1910- It's been a long and endless summer. Aunt Beth was nearly killed because of that sickly disease goin around and I couldn't refuse what little money I had left for her medicines. It's the same story or something similar, with the other girls at work. Going for a whole summer with any money coming in. It's hard. The girls and I have set up a protest for higher wages. If we're lucky they'll listen, but I doubt it. that Mr Birling is too smug to understand, they all are. August 10- We were so ready to face him head on, but the way he looked at us, as if we were trespassing on holy land. He didn't even look me in the eye that coward, he simply looked ahead as if I wasn't even there, like I had no right to exist. The whole meeting with Mr Birling tore down any hope of justice I had in me. But I'm not doing this for money or to bring Mr Birling down. I'm only trying to give hope to all the other millions of faithless people. I'm trying to tell them that there is hope and there is something to look forward to. There is a wall between us and the rich and prosperous, the higher we try to climb it, the higher it becomes. I've seen the brightness, the happiness and the security, so I know there is alot to hope for and I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. ...read more.


As long as I don't get too affectionate with the men I work with, I'll be alright. Mother would be disgusted at what I'm doing with myself, not forgetting using her precious name to do it. But I'm only doing what I feel is right. I'm so hungry I can almost feel my spine by pushing in my stomach. Is that possible? March 19 1911- I've made about �3 from the men I worked with. They're disgusting and make me sick from the improper things they do. I wonder what their wives and children must think, while their husbands and fathers go gallavanting with women about town. Though, there was a man who caught my eye. I've seen him at the Palace Bar, but somehow, he seemed not to fit in with the rest. I only saw his side because he shadowed himself as though he did not want to be seen there. Well, I could think of a thousand things I'd rather be doing then being in that hellhole. Somehow when I saw him it was like there was a familiarity. I don't know, maybe because we had something in common. March 24 1911- The man I talked about, the shadowed one at the Palace Bar, I met him last night and I think I saw a flicker of hope in his eyes. He's a dignified man. The tall dark and handsome type. He speaks with a velvety sensousness that could melt even the most glacial of hearts. I just couldn't keep my eyes off him. Somehow we could see through each other. He knew I disliked the Palace Bar and I knew that he wouldn't make me do anything I didn't want to. There's something about Gerald Croft and my empty cup is slowly being filled with it. April 1911- Gerald is truly a gift from above, he's heaven sent. He makes me smile when I'm unhappy and he says things that set my heart on fire. ...read more.


But then I saw her in my reflection and I had to hide in the shadows like I had been for months. July 12 1912- I finally did it. I finally plucked up the courage to seek help. I regained my hope after the women from the Woman's Charity Organisation were handing out food at the Town Hall. I never knew that I was going to end up mortified and helpless again. I thought these women knew how I felt. Of course, they come from the first world, how could they possibly ever imagine my three years of hell? All I ever wwanted was to start over for me and my baby. But how many times have I said that to myself, I'm still living in hell aren't I? I might as well go there before my melancholia drives me insane. Whether I be living or dead, hell is still the same isn't it? I wish the Women's Charity Organisation could see me now. July 23 1912- This is probably my last entry because just over an hour ago, I drank strong disinfectant I bought with the money left over from the �50. I also have whooping cough so there's really no chance for my precious baby to survive. It's better if we both just go, I don't want my baby alone in her grave. I will never be able to justify my desicion even if I live, but would it be fair to bring my baby into this forlorn and futile existance? I had so many dreams and they were shattered just because I lied about my name. Would it be fair to raise a child amoung such callous and merciless people? Why bother? Right now I can feel the effect of the disinfectant. It's like a demon chewing at my insides and savagely ripping apart my gutts. The pain is becoming stronger everytime I breath. It feels like I've been hit over the head by a brick. The pain grows like a hungry monster. It feels as though I'm goi Eva Smith 1888-1912 Pearl Sakoane 10SCJ ...read more.

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