My father got up and walked over to me. He kissed my head and put his arm around me, and handed me a piece of paper. It was a letter; it was a letter from an adoption agency. I stood frozen for a moment and then threw the letter, ran upstairs, slammed my bedroom door and cried myself to sleep.
I couldn’t believe it I was adopted. Where did I come from? Who was I? The days grew longer and the nights grew colder. There was no end of my weeping and sobbing. I could not get over it, why did they leave it till now to tell me? I sat at the end of my bed staring mindlessly into space, whilst tears on pain rolled down my face.
I walked downstairs to speak to my parents, if you can call them that. I looked around the room. They were sitting down talking quietly. I couldn’t quite hear them, but I knew it was about me it had to be. My father had his hand around my mother as if he was comforting her. Now I knew for definite it was about me. I walked over to them to sit down me. I walked over to them to sit down but I saw the letter lying on the coffee table. I grabbed the letter from the table and sat down. They both starred at me, wondering who was going to make the first move to speak.
“Why didn’t you tell me? I needed to be told, I had the right to know”, I sobbed. My mother ran over and threw her arms around me. We both sat endlessly sobbing whilst my father attempted to calm us down and make us feel better.
“No matter what we still love you, and we are still you’re parents”, he reassured me. I suppose he was reassuring my mother as well. My father handed us both a box of tissues. We dried our eyes and started to eventually calm down.
We all went into the kitchen and sat around the table where we had had our “family” meals. My father poured us both a drink and we agreed we needed to talk. My mother read the letter aloud it had said that my biological mother was looking for me and had been asked if I might be interested in giving information to them or getting in touch. My parents looked at me blankly.
“What are you going to do?” father asked.
“It’s totally your choice”, my mother reminded me.
“I need to think”, I answered as I made my way back upstairs.
I lay on my bed and thought endlessly, I made lists of pro’s and con’s. My mind was a blank.
After hours of pondering over whether or not to get in touch with the people which gave me up, the selfish people who did not love me enough to keep me in their lives. I decided I had to find out who I was and where I came from. Did I have any brothers or sisters? But most of all I needed to find out why? Wasn’t I good enough? I was going to meet her, even if it was just to answer all my questions and tell her how much of bad person she was.
I walked downstairs and explained I wanted to meet my real mother. I told them it was not because I did not love them anymore it was just that now I knew I was adopted, I wanted to know where I came from. If I didn’t I would regret it for the rest of life and would always be wondering where or who I came from. What was that little piece of me missing? They understood completely and offered to take me, but I did want them to. I couldn’t bare the thought of their faces as I got out of the car and walked away to the woman, which abandoned me. I had already asked my Auntie to take me; she was the only other person, which knew my dark secret.
Soon enough it was the big day. I sat anxiously at the end of the stairs with the door open. She was supposed to have picked me up at one and it was already half past, but then again minutes felt like hours. Just as I was started having second thoughts, my Auntie pulled up.
“Thank God”, I shouted.
“Sorry I’m late I got caught up in traffic”, she replied.
I gave my parents a kiss and a hug and got into the car.
We drove for nearly an hour. When I say ‘drove’ I mean mostly waited in traffic jams. My stomach was turning and my palms were sweating. Was I making the right choice after all?
We pulled up outside a big, posh house. My mouth dropped. I walked up the drive and knocked on the front door. A few minutes went by but there was still no answer. I came to the conclusion she was not in so I turned slowly with my head bowed down, and started to drag my feet back to the car. I got half way down the drive and I heard the front door open, I span around to hear,
“Hello, may I help you?”
There was a silence, I starred at the woman, and I must have looked her up and down twenty times at least.
She repeated, “Hello, may I help you?”
I replied, “Would you like to buy a raffle ticket?”
“No thank you”, she replied, “I haven’t got any spare change”.
She closed the door and I got back into the car. All the way home all I could think about was my parents. I knew who my mother and father were, and they were waiting for me back home.