Last night my challenge started. I had to leave the front line to take the letter to Jack’s mother in a nearby county. The journey was long but I had to do this myself because it is my job and was partly my fault. After a long painful ride in horse and then in car, finally I arrived at the old lady’s house, it was strange but I felt confident. I couldn’t imagine the old lady’s reaction but I was prepared for anything.
I knocked on the door and a lonely woman with a very soft, passive voice opened the door. I did my entrance speech telling her I was a war officer, but she wasn’t impressed, she just made me enter the house and sit on a couch near the fire place. I noticed she’d been there all the afternoon drinking tea and playing cards alone. She broke the silence by asking me what was the purpose of my visit and why was I staring at her with such a cold face. I kept quiet and my expressions were like a sick man. I started telling her that her boy was very brave in the war and that he had became an important soldier with an outstanding effort and dedication in the army. Every time a word came out of my mouth I felt even worse and tenser because I never imagined me lying to families so that they could be proud of their sons. What was even worse was the idea that the old woman believed that entire fake.
The old woman suddenly started to shed tears because she noticed that I was going to inform her about his son’s death and I didn’t know what to do so I decided to continue my well prepared speech louder than I was telling it before. But her weeping also got louder and with a higher intensity. I finally decided to stop but I didn’t have enough bravery and confidence with her to get nearer and say that I was very sorry so I got up. She didn’t even notice I was walking towards the door but when I opened it she stopped crying. I looked towards her and I noticed she was whispering something very softly with her neck bent. I stayed at the door mat until she said directly to me that she wanted me to stay and tell her about the last time I was with Jack and what he told me about her.
I stood quietly besides her and she asked me if all that I had said was true. The problem in my mind started again because I wasn’t brave enough to tell the truth about the cowardly attitude of her son. I gave her Jack’s badge and the uniform he used in war. She smiled directly to me but I felt bad about myself because I knew that telling the truth would affect her feelings a lot. I stayed with her just a little longer because my real work was in the front line and when I went out the weather was much colder and sad; just the same as the woman’s feelings.
There are a lot of these situations in war daily but this was an exceptional case which I am sure I will remember all my life. I’m so sure because every night in my dreams since that day, I can see the old lady in her living room, in the same couch I was sitting when I went there, crying for her son because she was proud of him, because he died for her and for her country.