Little did I know that Mr Jack Worthing had no brother at all, In fact he used the excuse of his fictitious brother to escape the beauty of gods country for the squalor of the City. Not only was Mr Worthing responsible for a lie that will not be looked well upon in the lords eye he took up the role of his fictitious brother while in the City, therefore increasing the depth of this terrible lie and this most deceptive of incidents. His good name was therefore protected in the country and one does best not to think of the immoral situations he must have used this corrupt charade for.
Algernon, a close troublesome friend of Mr Worthing, took advantage of the immoral situation and participated in this whole act of deception himself to suffice his own ends, to meet the charming girl I have met many times, Mr Worthing's ward the young Miss Cecily. I believe that I am right in saying that this youngster who goes by the name of Algernon and moves in all of the correct London Social circles for his age is well practiced in the art of deception, but it could be that the intellect is failing me. Anyway he took the role as Ernest Worthing, Mr J Worthing's fabricated brother. Algernon's charm worked well on a girl who was already beset with this fictitious character and they were engaged within the hour.
Now Mr J Worthing was in a spot of bother himself, he was engaged to the delightful Miss Gwendolyn under the auspice of his invented brother. Miss Gwendolyn is daughter of the well-known socialite Lady Bracknell and is modelled by the demands of the social circles of the very rich in London. Gwendolyn's unexpected arrival almost proved to be the spark to the dry tinder of this most devilish situation. Both Ladies, so recently engaged and gripped so mightily by gods own gift of love and so normally courteous, considerate and well mannered in disposition, were obviously distressed by the situation and said some things to each other they would now rather not recall.
Well it took some passionate grovelling by the gentlemen to win back the hearts of these Ladies, I can tell you! But both ladies so struck by the beauty of the name Ernest refused to believe they could marry these men. It turned out that Mr Worthing was not in fact Mr Worthing at all. His Guardian, a good friend who is now sadly deceased, adopted Mr J Worthing at a very young age due to a terrible mix up. Misplaced by his maid, the dear, dear Miss Prism who has since been plagued with overwhelming feelings of guilt, he was found and looked after very well. Well it turns out that in an incredible twist of fate that Mr J Worthing was in fact christened with the name of Ernest after his father who he sadly never knew. Well it turns out that Algernon is the brother of Jack and aunty of Lady Bracknell, how god works in baffling but fantastic ways!
Well now the excitement has died somewhat and I have slipped well back into my customary series of naps. I have two weddings to organise and christening to arrange for one Master Algernon. The mere thought of this sorry episode is making me rather heavy-eyed…
