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The Turning Point

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The Turning Point He stood there, leaning against the wall, one knee braced against it. I watched his hands move softly over the guitar strings, producing haunting melodies that touch the heart and leave an impression. His profile was highlighted by the full moon, his aquiline nose and jaw set at a proud angle. Once again my mind asked the question it had been asking me for days..." how long this time?" The guitarist was my brother. A drifter by nature, Kevin, like a nomad, would take off for parts unknown whenever the urge took him. He was a person with no roots and for who the whole world was home. It was the call of the north wind, he said. " I go whichever direction it blows me." I had come to hate the north wind. This time, however, something other than the north wind had blown him back to our hometown of Keaton after a gap of four years. As I stood there watching him, scenes from the past filtered through my mind. Our father had been a general in the army and we were constantly being transferred from one base to another. ...read more.


That was five months ago. I had decided not to tell him but a friend blurted it out to him a month after my diagnosis had been confirmed. The next thing I knew Kevin was standing on my doorstep, anguished, accusing eyes taking in my skinny frame and misshapen wig. Since then he had not let me out of his sight, taking care of my every need and breathing life and hope back into my life. Nevertheless, since the last month I had sensed his restlessness, the urge to move was back again and I could see him resisting it for me. The guilt washed over me as I watched him, long smooth fingers gently caressing the guitar strings. I had become the one thing I had vowed never to become. I had become the thorn in his happy life. I was forcing Kevin to suppress what came to him as naturally as breathing. Suddenly I felt incredibly selfish and at the same time extremely lucky. I know knew what I had to do. I took a deep breath and walked towards him, fully intending to set him free, to tell him that it is okay by me if he wants to leave, to follow the direction of the wind, even though it tore me from inside. ...read more.


In that pensive mind, I started to question my aim in life. Do I want to restrict myself to the surroundings of space and be selfish and stick to the familiar surroundings? Are my needs more important? Was I being the stumbling block in my brother's life? The urge to travel hand in hand with my brother to help the needy and distressed became stronger where the whole world was my home. It was time to breathe a new meaning into the short span of time I had left. It was time for a change, a new beginning. I felt as if a burden of guilt had lifted. The fog of my indecisiveness evaporated with the rising of the new sun. All the dark niches were brightened and doubts dispelled. I felt like a seagull, which wanted to fly over new horizons, and fly with the flow of the wind, where the storms did not matter. I felt as if I was in harmony with The Master. I flew on the wind to give the news to my brother, and tears of gratitude filled my eyes. I wanted to use the rest of my breaths in comprehending His Mystery and His World. ...read more.

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