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To smoke or not to smoke. Now there's a question for you. Since I'm a smoker I guess I chose to smoke. Right or wrong? Who knows?

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Introduction

To smoke or not to smoke. Now there's a question for you. Since I'm a smoker I guess I chose to smoke. Right or wrong? Who knows? I only know that I choose to smoke. Is my option and no one else has a right to tell me I can not smoke. They may tell me where I can or can not smoke, and they have. I smoke. I do it where I am allowed. Sorry if it offends some people but I get offended to when some lady walks by me wreaking of a full bottle of perfume. ...read more.

Middle

Would I rather die because of smoking, or because some doctor has put me on a prescription that has so many different side effects it could do anything from giving me a heart attach to killing my liver or kidneys. Oh and then there's the multiple prescriptions for different ailments that no one knows if they will be compatible or not for sure.Our drug industry releases new pills everyday. They tell you they will cure this or that. Well maybe not cure but they will help. Then a few years later, low and behold, they are recalling this same drug because..ooops..it seems it has killed several 100 people. Sorry folks..our mistake.Everyone wants to criticize a smoker. ...read more.

Conclusion

I don't have yellow rotting teeth or greasy hair. I may smell of cigarette smoke though, in fact my own mother tells me I stink, she's an ex smoker by the way so at one point she chose to smoke. I would never tell anyone to start smoking. It's a bad habit, on that I agree. But if I were to total up my bad habits, there'd be two, I smoke and I curse. Doesn't make me a bad person.I don't encourage smoking. I don't advertise it. In fact if asked I'll tell someone to not do it. So as to the question to smoke or not to smoke. Don't smoke, but if you choose to, try to be a cordial smoker by respecting non-smokers rights. Be a safe smoker. ...read more.

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Here's what a star student thought of this essay

3 star(s)

Response to the question

This is a Writing to Explain task. As such, the candidate does well to attempt to explain their addiction to smoking, but very little appears to be done to actually explain why. I don't think the word nicotine has been ...

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Response to the question

This is a Writing to Explain task. As such, the candidate does well to attempt to explain their addiction to smoking, but very little appears to be done to actually explain why. I don't think the word nicotine has been used at all. Because of this, it is hard to grade the response much higher the a high D/low C grade because for the most part, this answer is simply very ignorant and doesn't explain anything. Sure, there are plenty of rhetorical devices used to make the reader think, but the language and attitude adopted is not the kind that will make the reader want to read on. As this is a key aspect of any "Writing to" task, the candidate's answer scores lowly.

Level of analysis

There is sound evidence of a knowledge of a range of rhetorical devices used by this candidate to explain their addiction, but the result of so many question directed in a Second Person address is that the reader ends up being quizzed by the writer and learns nothing. There is no mention of the science behind the smoking or a successful attempt to rationalise smoking as an uncontrollable habit. Instead, the candidate assumes the attitude of someone who is not considering any other point of view (even the law to some extent) and so the answer does not appeal to the reader and will make most want to put the article down. There needs to be an appreciation of the science behind smoking; of the reasons why someone is addicted, so to give the impression that the addiction is out of the candidate's hands. You could also argue that they shoot themselves in the foot by playing the system and admitted that they smoke - this can work with highly skilled candidates willing to subordinate themselves to the addiction of smoking, but to candidates who come across and rudely stubborn, this does not work to as good effect as it could.

Quality of writing

The Quality of Written Communication is quite poor, too. There is no discernible structure; the answer is one huge paragraph and follows little cohesive thread. The spelling is relatively good though, with little or no compromising mistakes made. The grammar is adequate, though comma splice and a misuse of punctuation can lead to a sentence not reading right. To ensure this does not happen, candidates must structure their answers correctly and read and re-read their sentences to ensure clarity of written expression.


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Reviewed by sydneyhopcroft 18/03/2012

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