I looked at the clock, it was about 3 o’clock at night, who could possibly call at this time? I reached the phone, it was Tanya’s mom, “My daughter still isn’t home yet, weren’t you out with her for dinner? What happened? I’m worried…” she said in a startled voice. I then remembered that Tanya was supposed to call me when she got home, but it’s 3 at night now, why didn’t she go home? I was utterly confused, but I called the police for help anyways.
When I arrived at the police station, the police asked me, “What was she wearing when she was missing?”
I found it hard to recall what she was wearing, I just couldn’t really remember, “…uh…she…I can’t remember,” I answered.
The police gave me a strange look and then said, “It’s ok, relax first. Then, I think you do remember the colour of her clothes. Was it blue? Red?”
I looked down, disappointed with myself and said, “I… I was only thinking of the proposal, I was eating with my head low… I didn’t really look at her...”
He continued to ask, “How about her hairstyle? Did she have long hair or short hair?”
I was more confused than ever, I said, “I was with her for years… So, I… why can’t I remember the things about her…”
The police started to get impatient, he continued, “You say she is your girlfriend and you two haven’t seem each other much lately? But, why do even forget her hairstyle? Was she wearing any accessories, a purse?”
I still couldn’t answer, I just looked down towards the floor, feeling ashamed of myself.
After I left the police station, I was so shocked for not remembering so many about my girlfriend, Tanya. For many years, I have thought of the feeling of love as a custom, I become accustomed to Tanya. Three long days had just passed like that, there is still nothing, nothing about Tanya. In these three days, other than just worrying about Tanya’s safety, I kept on thinking about ‘her hairstyle and her clothes, how could I even dare to forget?! I must remember them all!’
This night, I passed through a dark, gloomy long street and unexpectedly, I see Tanya standing still at the other end of the street. I was so happy that I started running, thinking to hug her. But when I stood in front of her, I changed my mind, I put my hands and her shoulders and said, “Wait, don’t move. Look me take a clear look at you, your hairstyle, your clothes, I have to remember it this time. Recollecting about that night, you have already discovered that I still had a lot of work to do, so you told me to go home early and not to drive you home. Since always, you were the one who cared about my feelings, but I have never cared about you. But it doesn’t matter, I know how to love you and treasure you now. Believe me, you be in my heart forever.”
Tanya opened her mouth and said, “You finally understand how to care for my feelings, to treasure me… but... it’s too late…” I suddenly woke up, everything was just a dream. I tried to remember Tanya’s hairstyle and clothes from the dream, but… I still don’t remember…
The next day, I finally saw Tanya again, it was when the police brought me to the Corpse Room… I stood there starring at the corpse of my girlfriend, hard as a stone. I started weeping, “I finally know your hairstyle and clothes, I finally get a chance to understand you. I will remember, I will always remember… I just understood of how to treasure you, to care about your feelings…Wake up… Don’t just leave me like that…Come back to me…”
I have just learned to treasure, but now I am full of regret. Now, other than crying and weeping, there is nothing I can do… I hope I could’ve known earlier, so that I could treasure my beloved for always and forever.
