Uninvited Guest. Suddenly there was a loud bang and the door fell apart like it had been made of wet wood. Then something stepped inside and my heart skipped a beat.

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Coursework 3 draft 1

Uninvited guest

      The wind was howling as I shut the window of the hut I was living in. “Poof” I said “lucky the hut didn’t fall off”. I was scared and hungry. My mother and father had gone to sell the meager amount of crops we had managed to ravage from the storm three weeks ago. Last week the storm had subsided down to a slight breeze allowing my parents to grasp the opportunity and go to sell the harvest. Our hut was located 5miles south of a small town and my parents had to go 55miles to get to the market which sold meat and bought vegetables. We needed the meat for the upcoming winter.

   I got to my feet and surveyed the damage the storm had done to hut. Luckily most of the furniture was intact and only a couple of chairs had broken. I went down to my cellar to get some pork slices to eat. My 2 horses and 1 chicken were there. We had a pig but it had perished in the storm. We had temporarily moved them to the cellar because they would have surely been victims to the gale if we had left them outside. As I sat down at the table to eat I heard a reverberation near the door. Thinking it was thieves I quickly stashed my plate drew my pocketknife and hid behind the sofa.

   Suddenly there was a loud bang and the door fell apart like it had been made of wet wood. Then something stepped inside and my heart skipped a beat. It was humanoid with a bloody red cape billowing due to the wind. It was two meters tall. Its toes were laden with worms and dirt. But the worst was its face. It had three green eyes with two forked teeth and blood dripping from it. Its face was pale white and had some terrible sheen about it. Its hand held something which was smoking. It was my worst nightmare coming to haunt me.

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  I held my breath as the creature surveyed the room and its contents. For a second I thought it had spotted me. It turned its drooling nose towards the sofa but after a couple of minutes turned its head away and walked towards the kitchen. As he walked away I remembered terrible things. This huts first owner (Im the second) had disappeared and terrible stories revolved around it. My family could not afford any other hut so we moved here despite the warnings.

     I woke back to the surroundings and saw the creature fiddling ...

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The structure of writing in this story is too simple to gain marks at the higher levels. You must employ a variety of sentence structure, punctuation and vocabulary to create an effective and interesting piece of creative writing. 3 Stars