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Uninvited Guest. Suddenly there was a loud bang and the door fell apart like it had been made of wet wood. Then something stepped inside and my heart skipped a beat.

Extracts from this document...

Introduction

Coursework 3 draft 1 Uninvited guest The wind was howling as I shut the window of the hut I was living in. "Poof" I said "lucky the hut didn't fall off". I was scared and hungry. My mother and father had gone to sell the meager amount of crops we had managed to ravage from the storm three weeks ago. Last week the storm had subsided down to a slight breeze allowing my parents to grasp the opportunity and go to sell the harvest. Our hut was located 5miles south of a small town and my parents had to go 55miles to get to the market which sold meat and bought vegetables. We needed the meat for the upcoming winter. I got to my feet and surveyed the damage the storm had done to hut. Luckily most of the furniture was intact and only a couple of chairs had broken. I went down to my cellar to get some pork slices to eat. My 2 horses and 1 chicken were there. We had a pig but it had perished in the storm. We had temporarily moved them to the cellar because they would have surely been victims to the gale if we had left them outside. As I sat down at the table to eat I heard a reverberation near the door. ...read more.

Middle

I had never gone so fast in my life. The tunnel walls passed like blur as I slid down the tunnel. I was thrown down a small tunnel. I stood up and walked for around 15minutes.I entered a large room filled with lava and small pathways leading to a small console. I ducked as the creature turned from the console. My heart was beating fast. I saw another pathway leading to some small cave and I ducked inside. As I entered the cave I got the shock of my life. The missing scientist (1st owner) was tied on gagged there. He looked so feeble and underfed. He turned his head towards me and said "Who are you?" I said "My name is Bharath; my dad owns the house on the top. What in the devils going on here?" The scientist said "These monsters imprisoned me here. They are from a different planet. We don't know from where". Awed I asked "Why are they here?" "We believe that their home planet is filled with lava but it's started to cool down. These creatures built this console to blast open the rock and fill the earth with lava. They can't live without it". "But how is this alien surviving". ...read more.

Conclusion

I dived picked it up and fired. The creature dodged the first 2 shots but on the third one he wasn't so lucky. The bolt hit his shoulder and with a terrible shriek which pierced my ears it fell into the lava. I got up feeling elated and started working on the detonators. As I started working I noticed a green tracking blip. It was a signal device. I realized once I blast this console the other aliens cannot enter. I set the device for three hours and started the arduous journey upward. After two hours I reached the top. It was cool and pleasant after the scorching lava pits. I started arranging the house and just as I decided to tell the broken furniture were due to the storm there was a huge rumble under my house. I knew the console must have been destroyed. As the evening neared I saw my parents and with a bigger load of meat with them. Elated I ran towards my parents happy to be with them again. They told me that this year's harvest was worth much more due to the storms and they even had spare coins for me to by some new clothes. As we walked towards the house I remembered the scientists sacrifice to save the world and looked up at the clouds. I thought I saw a shape of the scientist face smiling at me... ...read more.

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Here's what a teacher thought of this essay

3 star(s)

The structure of writing in this story is too simple to gain marks at the higher levels. You must employ a variety of sentence structure, punctuation and vocabulary to create an effective and interesting piece of creative writing.

3 Stars

Marked by teacher Laura Gater 05/09/2013

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