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Unknown Angel

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AN UNKNOWN ANGEL Have you ever felt that your life was like a routine? Like it was something that constantly kept playing over and over again? I did. I kept doing stuff that to other people didn't matter much. I always thought that if I survived the day, it was enough. But a lot of people talked. That's what they do best. They said that I was wasting my life, throwing it away in a damp. At the age of 19, I really didn't care. Half the time they spent talking I spent ignoring them. But I cannot ignore the fact that some of the things they said were true. My life consisted of three things; my job, my home and my faith. I've lost interest in the world outside a long time ago. I've walked away from the life that I knew. There was nobody left to care anyway. And even though I'm surrounded by people who say that they care, who say that they will always be there for me and that they will never leave, they can never fill the void inside my heart. The part of my heart where the people I loved resided. Maybe that's what's wrong with me. I'm too afraid to let people into my life because I'm afraid of being left alone again. But then something happened to me. Or more like, someone happened to me. This person came into my life in the most unexpected circumstances. And just like that left without warning. This someone unknowingly changed my 'routine'. Her name was Joanna Patricia Smith. Joanna was 12-years-old when I first met her. She had just been transferred to the hospital I was working in. I found out that Joanna had spent the past three years in and out of hospitals. She was 9 years old when she was diagnosed with cancer. Back then, I didn't care, to me she was just another patient and coincidently I was assigned to her. ...read more.


I went to check Joanna's room last, just like I always did. When I noticed she was still awake, I quietly slipped inside her room. I hadn't seen her at all that day and I figured a few hours with her would probably help her find sleep. When I saw her that night, it was as if I was looking at someone else and not Joanna. Her physical appearance had totally changed but her eyes were still the same shade of hazel brown. Her face didn't have that sweet angelic smile that it usually did. She looked so tired and weary. I had never seen her so weak before. Her appearance scared me. She looked like a 12-year-old girl with terminal cancer and that fact scared me. She didn't seem to notice the look on my face because at that moment she asked me something I wasn't ready for. I still remember the exact words that formed her question, "Nurse Jamie, can you please tell me your story?" I was perplexed. For a moment, I didn't know what to say or do. She might have recognized the shocked expression in my face because she immediately regretted the words that came out of her mouth. I slowly walked to her and sat in the empty chair that I had so frequently inhabited every time I was there. And as I looked into her eyes, I realized, it was time. Time to finally relive my past. The past that I was so determined to run away from. I wouldn't say that I was completely prepared but I was in a way waiting for it. There was no turning back now. So hear me out, this is my story. I was just turning sixteen when my whole world came crashing down on me. It was a telephone call - a phone call that confirmed the deaths of my parents. ...read more.


Had she not been admitted to the hospital I was working in, I wouldn't have realized that there was more to life than just suffering - that in the end of the day, I still have a lot to be thankful for, despite the hardships that surrounded my past. I stand here today, the same person I was all those years ago. The only difference is, I'm not scared anymore. I finally gathered enough strength to fix my broken life - just as Joanna had asked me to before she died. It took a lot of effort to pick up the phone and call Daniel, but I did. I wouldn't say that our relationship is back to the way it used to be, but we're getting there. I won't deny the fact that it was mostly because of her. Joanna saved my life. She taught me how to live - to take the risks and towards the end accept the consequences; no regrets. She helped me understand my faith. She reassured me that making mistakes was alright - that it was all part of being human. She assisted me on my journey. She taught me a lot and eventhough the time we spent together was only limited, I am glad to have known her. I thank God everyday for bringing her into my life. She was the kind of an angel I did not know could ever exist. So Joanna, wherever you are, thank you. Thank you for the laughter, thank you for the tears. Thank you for the memories and thank you for everything that you taught me. I'm only sorry I couldn't have done more for you. But I guess you're happy now. And after all the pain that I went through, after all the suffering, I am now trying to rebuild my not so perfect life. It's not easy, but I'm trying. My name is Jamie Caithlyn Hennesey. I'm 21-years-old and I have no regrets. ...read more.

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