I followed Luke through the forest dragging the bag containing all our grief and sorrow behind me. It was so heavy but I kept on going, relentless and oblivious to the aching in my arms and back. There was a lot of grief and sorrow in that bag. All I was thinking about was Claire. What if she found out? How could she love me knowing I was callous enough to cause the demise of someone’s life? Accident or otherwise I was still ultimately responsible. I did it for her. She was so beautiful so perfect and innocent. I never told her of that night, that night when we threw Josh Baker’s body over the ravine.
I remember the look on her face when the police came to our school, asking for our help in finding him. Claire was shocked he was missing, thought it was fate, never suspected Luke and me. We weren’t like that.
I never thought I could have done it, but I did. I couldn’t have done it alone though. Luke thought of everything, covering our tracks, alibis, everything. If anyone found out, I would have got caught for sure.
We dumped the body where no one would find it, and to this day still hasn’t. I dragged the bag to the edge of the ravine and pushed it over. As it tumbled down, the bag split, and as it came to a halt, Josh’s arm slipped through the rip in the bag and lay motionless on his silent, unbreathing chest.
On the way home, Luke told me to lighten up and I flew off the handle. How could I lighten up? We just killed and buried someone. It doesn’t just go away. We would remember this day for the rest of our lives, and it would eat away at us forever. Which it has.
I remember the first time I saw him, acting as if he were better than me, and everyone else. I saw him checking out Claire. I told him that she was with me and he better not try anything. Even though he started to flirt with her and even when she told him to stop it and leave her alone, I didn’t touch him. ‘He’s not worth it Carey’, she told me. When Claire left, I told him that if he ever upset my girl I’d kill him. I wasn’t serious, but then he touched her.
When she told me she was crying. I couldn’t stand to see her like that; I couldn’t stand to see her so upset. I only wanted to scare him a little, teach him a lesson. Luke told him to meet us near the oak tree on the top of Old Barney’s Lookout. He came and we started pushing him around, telling him he’d pay for hurting Claire. Then I hit him, real hard. He lost his balance and toppled over the lookout onto a ledge. His submissive body lay still and silent. The story of Josh Baker ended that day, and it sticks in my mind like an unreachable thorn.
