Everything was black. I could not open my eyes nor could I move my fingers but I could hear voices. They were not very clear but I could make out what they were saying: “Increase the dosage to twenty-five.” A man’s voice said. A female voice replied, “Blood pressure is still decreasing.” “We’ll give it another try.” He ordered. “It’s not working. We’re losing her.” I heard a beeping sound, slowing down. In my head, I could see daddy, and then he vanished.
Finally, I managed to open my eyes. I looked around and saw that I was in an unfamiliar room. I was on a bed with white sheets and there were white drapes hanging from the white window panes. The walls were painted white and the white vase on the white table was filled with white roses. There were two doors in the room. One of them was closed and the opened one led to a balcony. I slowly climbed out of bed and headed for the balcony until I hear a knock on the other door.
A woman in a sheer white dress walked in. She was about in her forties and she had long, wavy dark brown hair. She smiled at me and greeted me, “Hello, Katie.” It took me awhile to answer her, “Who are you? Where am I?”. “My name is Celia.” She replied, as she took me by the hand and led me to the balcony. The sky was clear blue with light streaks of pink but my eyes widened when I saw that below was not land but huge, white fluffy clouds. There were no trees, no roads, no people – just clouds. I turned to Celia and asked her again, “Where am I?” She did not reply. She simply smiled. I looked out the balcony again and my heart began to race as I started to realise where I was. “A-am I in h-heaven?” I stammered. Celia nodded. I could not bring myself to say it. I died.
“Where’s daddy?” I asked. She took me by the hand again and brought me to a white dressing table with a huge mirror. “Look into the mirror.” She said. There was no reflection. Celia touched the mirror and there he was – my daddy. Sitting on the red armchair, he had his face in his hands. I reached out to touch him but tears rolled down my cheeks when all I could feel beneath my fingertips was cold glass. Celia patted me lightly on the shoulder and went out of the room, leaving me alone. I continued to stare at daddy in the mirror. He remained in the same position until a man came over to talk to him and then led him into the living room. My view followed him. There was a shiny black casket where the television set had been and I was in it. I could not see my face because it was covered with a black cloth but I was sure that it was me. I really had died.
I saw several empty and half empty glasses here and there. There was the dining table with a few almost empty dishes. I suppose there was a funeral service. The last guest had gone home. Daddy walked over to the casket and slowly removed the black cloth from my face. No wonder it was covered. I had deep cuts and scratches all over my face. My eyelid and lips were torn from its place and there was a purple dent on my jaw. Apparently, they did not stitch me up. I touched my jaw but I could not feel the dent. Daddy stroked my hair gently as his teardrops fell on my face. Somehow, I could feel him stroking my hair and a tingling sensation spread through my entire body. He used to do that when I am sleeping and I could still feel it. At night, I saw him crying in his sleep. The only thing I could do was cry too. I miss him so much. I miss his warm smile.
The next day, I was buried in St. Peter’s Memorial Park. There were only a few people at the ceremony. Daddy got me a bunch of white roses. I love white roses. Maybe because they smelled like mummy. Her scent was the only thing I could remember of her. I wish mummy was still alive then daddy would not have to be alone.
After everyone left, daddy walked to the lake nearby and stood by the bank. He picked up a pebble and threw it out to the lake. He picked up another pebble and did the same thing but harder. He repeated the same thing over and over again but every time he seemed to be more and more enraged. And then, all of a sudden, he fell on his knees and broke down into tears. He mumbled to himself, “Why?” I reached out to touch him again but I still could not, I longed to touch him and speak to him once more. All I need is one chance. Under my breath, I softly said, “I love you, daddy.” I think he must have heard me because he looked up and he smiled.
Cornelia Nicole De Alwis
5 Beta………………….
