• Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month
Page
  1. 1
    1
  2. 2
    2
  3. 3
    3
  4. 4
    4
  5. 5
    5
  6. 6
    6
  7. 7
    7
  8. 8
    8
  9. 9
    9
  10. 10
    10

What leads us to love and interpersonal relationships?

Extracts from this document...

Introduction

What leads us to love and interpersonal relationships? Can Love be control'd by Advice? Will Cupid our Mothers obey? Though my Heart were as frozen as Ice, At his Flame 'twould have melted away. When he kist me so closely he prest, 'Twas so sweet that I must have comply'd; So I thought it both safest and best To marry, for fear you should chide. John Gay 1728 Love, what is it and do we really need it? If so, how do we get it and how can we survive it? For centuries it has provided poets, musicians, writers and artists with their primary source of material. The puzzle for Polly in John Gays eighteenth century farce "The beggars opera" is "can love be controlled by advice?" She herself goes on to answer her own question. But what exactly is it that does lead us to love another person? How do we get close enough to someone for that emotion to develop, and does love come in different guises? This essay will discuss different psychological theories around the vexing question of how interpersonal relationships and love develop, how they are sustained and what can ultimately lead to their breakdown. The western society's notion of love as a prerequisite for long term relationships such as marriage is not one which is shared by all cultures. ...read more.

Middle

These definitions of companionate love correspond to the feelings described by Rubin in his love scale and can be applied to same sex friends as well as romantic partners. This begins to address the different styles of loving between the sexes as Rubin suggested that females reported loving their friends more than males did. Rubin and McNeil (1983) suggest that loving for men may be channelled into single, sexual relationships while women may be better able to experience attachment and intimacy in a wider range and variety of relationships. (Gross, 1996, p.382) This may go some way to explaining the stereotypical male who is commitment shy, i.e. if all the eggs are to be put in one basket then it is very important to make sure it is the right basket without even the slightest suggestion of doubt! The western pattern of romantic love leading to commitment and companionate love would suggest a series of stages. For a relationship to get started there should be an initial attraction, followed by a building of the relationship and a decision to commit to each other. The initial attraction is what would lead to "falling in love" and certain factors, it is claimed, would have to be in evidence. ...read more.

Conclusion

It is highly unlikely that two people living in close contact with one another and sharing their lives together will not have periods of conflict and disagreement. What is unique to each couple is how they deal with, and resolve, these conflicts. The methods used can be either positive, relationship enhancing techniques, such as voicing concerns and increasing communication, or negative, relationship destroying methods, such as withdrawal and ultimately desertion. The way a person deals with conflict may be influenced by factors outside of the relationship and irrespective of adult maturity. Factors such as social class or patterns shown by role models and indeed by experiences in relationships in the past. "Changes in adult thought, behaviour and personality are less a result of chronological age or specific biological changes and are more a result of personal, social and cultural events and forces..." (Craig in Gross, 1996, p.605) So "can love be controlled by advice?" It would seem that in the case of romantic love then no. In theory it may be possible to sustain a commitment type of love by decision rather than desire, but even then a certain number of factors must be present. Given that love is capable of causing both intense pain and incredible joy, do we really want to deny ourselves the roller coaster ride of emotions that differentiates us from other species. ...read more.

The above preview is unformatted text

This student written piece of work is one of many that can be found in our GCSE Love Poetry section.

Found what you're looking for?

  • Start learning 29% faster today
  • 150,000+ documents available
  • Just £6.99 a month

Not the one? Search for your essay title...
  • Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

See related essaysSee related essays

Related GCSE Love Poetry essays

  1. Dantes Inferno and the weakness of human nature.

    It is perverted love, but it is love and that is what Dante recognizes. The punishment is fitting because they are tossed through the air because of their lack of restraint in life. They could neither intellectually or spiritually control their lust for their partner.

  2. The film trailers designed to promote the film Love Actually represent a particular view ...

    The role of most men in the film is of a high status or managerial post, for example, Huge Grant is the prime minister. On the other hand most women have secondary roles such as Martine McCutcheon. In one of the scenes in trailer one, a woman is sitting in a provocative way, but she is empowered by the man.

  1. The Relationship between Nature and Love in

    He remembers being able to feel Sara's cheek on his arm while sitting outside his cottage. "Most soothing sweet it is" could be Coleridge referring to the way Sara's cheek feels on his arm or he could be referring to how "soothing" it is "To sit beside our Cot."

  2. A comparative study of the perception triangular relationships

    The separation in Doctor Zhivago is one that is set in on a very political basis. This could be interpreted as a physical boundary to love in the triangle, whereas in Love in the Time of Cholera love is viewed as mental separation and is also referred to as an 'illness.'

  1. Compare and analyse themes of loss and isolation in looking for dad and the ...

    Stanzas two and three say how ashamed he feels about what he is doing and how the only way for his grief to end is for her to return to him. It's almost as if he feels his love for her is a crime that needs to be concealed from anyone who might disapprove.

  2. Southwest Airlines (SWA) - case study.

    and "Love Potions" (drinks). Customers purchased their tickets from the "Love Machine". SWA's fleet of 737 planes was referred to as the "Love Jets".

  1. Explore the different types of relationships in "Valentine" and "Before You Were Mine".

    She had a glamorous and romantic life like the movies depicted, where "the thought of" Duffy "doesn't occur". The use of the archaic word "fizzy" shows Duffy's mother's zest for life that "the right walk home could bring". This could mean her boyfriend walking her home, and she could be in love.

  2. Marie Curie: An Icon of Feminism and Science.

    as much knowledge as herself; especially someone who had designed an instrument unknowingly targeted specifically towards her needs. Another aspect of Marie's luck was her awakening at midnight and her urge to enter the shed. Without her natural instincts, Marie Curie would have never made her ultimate discovery; and thus would not be remembered as the person she is today.

  • Over 160,000 pieces
    of student written work
  • Annotated by
    experienced teachers
  • Ideas and feedback to
    improve your own work