I am the self-consumer of my woes; -
They rise and vanish in oblivion’s host.
Like shadows in love’s frenzied stifled throes: -
And yet I am, and live – like vapours tost.
Into the nothingness of scorn and noise. –
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life or joys.
But the vast shipwreck of my lifes esteems:
Even the dearest, that I love the best
Are strange – nay, rather stranger than the rest.
I long for scenes, where man hath never trod
A place where woman never smiled or wept
There to abide with my Creator, God:
And sleep as I in childhood, sweetly swept.
Untroubling, and untroubled where I lie.
The grass below – above the vaulted sky.
To John Clare
Well, honest John, how fare you now at home?
The spring is come and birds are building nests
The old cock-robin to the stye has come
With olive feathers and its ruddy breast
And the old cock with wattles and red comb
Struts with the hens and seems to like some best
Then crows and looks about for little crumbs
Swept out by the little folks an hour ago
The pigs sleep in the sty the bookman comes
The little boy lest home-close-nesting go
And pockets tops and tawes where daiseys bloom
To look at the new number just laid down
With lots of pictures and good stories too
And jack the jiant-killer’s high renown
‘I Am’ has mostly a regular formation (ABABAB) and is written mainly in iambics. The words ‘ I Am’ occur four times in the first stanza, this is because at this point in his life, Clare only knows that he exists and he has lost all other sense of identity, “ My friends forsake me like a memory lost/ I am the self consumer of my woes.” He is telling us that he is in anguish and he does not have anyone to share his quandaries with. He uses enjambment in the first two stanzas as they are mainly about the same thing and he uses it as a continuation.
In the second stanza, we can still see the rage in his eyes; he still shows all the poignancy that he feels towards his family, “ even the dearest, that I love the best/ Are strange – nay, rather stranger than the rest.” He is telling us that his family, his wife and children that he loved so dearly, haven’t come to visit him. He is showing that they have become so dissocialised that even the strange unknown people to him are more close then his own flesh and blood. I think that his friends and family behaved in this way because they were frightened of him, not realising that he was the same person but was just ill. I think that for his children it would have been very arduous as they were very young and did not realise why their father had been sent away and why he had changed. I also think that his friends had become distant, as they did not know how to behave around him.
In the third stanza, the rhythm of the poem changes to (ABABCC), this stanza describes Clare’s view and ideas of heaven, and his view is very harmonious. “A place where women has never smiled or wept.” Clare is showing the sadness that is on earth in all of mankind and that, when one is in heaven you do not show emotions, as they are not viewable because it is only the soul that is living. He also says, “And sleep as I in childhood, sweetly swept. /Untroubling, and untroubled where I lie.” Clare states that heaven would be like his childhood. I think that Clare’s most memorable moments took place in his childhood, and that is the place, which he wishes he could still be in.
‘ To John Clare’ is one of his last poems. It is a sonnet that is thought to be for his son, but is more likely to be fond memories of his childhood. Throughout the sonnet delights of his home are mentioned, and it is more like a short story. “ The old-cock robin to the stye is come/ With olive feathers and its ruddy breast.” He must have very distinctive memories as he includes the tiniest details. This shows how much his childhood meant to him, as his memories are not vivid but very clear. I would say that the whole sonnet is based on memories of his childhood.
Clare mentions the ‘little folk’ I think that he is mentioning the people that worked on the farm “ Then crows and looks about for little crumbs/ swept out by the little folk an hour ago” the people that threw out the crumbs, for the cock-robin and hens to eat.
“The little boy lets home-close-nesting go/ and pockets tops and tawes where daiseys bloom” the boy is giving up bird-nesting in the fields near his home to play with toys, this shows that he was free to do what he wanted when he was little and there were no restrictions at all.
There are many pleasures when the boy receives ‘ the new number’ given by the pedlar’ it’s the latest cheap child’s book which is given to him and he enjoys it by looking at the pictures and also mentions that the ‘book has good stories in it’. This poem shows us how happy his childhood was, and how relaxed the atmosphere around him was.
Like many other poems that John Clare has written, many are written in the style of a letter. ‘I Am’ is a poem that is also based on a letter that he wrote to Mary. Both ‘ I Am’ and ‘ To John Clare’ are about himself, he found it very difficult to understand that other people existed in his life, childhood memories were the only things that Clare could relate to. Both poems have different meanings and different styles of writing. This makes it very difficult to compare them. ‘ I Am’ is a poem based on only John Clare himself, no other people are mentioned apart from God. Quite to the contrary ‘To John Clare’ is mainly about his childhood and all the people that he can remember to be in it. He may also be blanking out people from the past that he wishes not to remember and also adding people who he desires would be there. Images that he mad e up which made his memories more distinct. He shows how his family in ‘I Am’ has abandoned him but in ‘To John Clare’ he shows that he was surrounded by nothing but love. His mood changes in ‘I Am’ especially in the last stanza but the sonnet’s mood is calm and blissful. John Clare’s clear description in this sonnet, clearly shows how much he enjoyed himself when he was younger, ‘I Am’ I feel is a poem in which he asks himself –’what am I, what am I doing here, what has my life become’ he finds it pure bliss when he thinks about death, this is because he is very depressed and doesn’t see the need for living. ‘ To John Clare’ has many positive points, it shows that he did not always feel so pessimistic and did remember good and happy memories, this gives me the impression that when John Clare was sad he wrote a poem to show his emotions, and another about good things in life to ‘cheer himself up’.
Both poems are very impressive because the values of the poem differ from one another, both have good qualities and amenities that they need, John Clare although a mentally ill person has proved one way of expressing himself, and had doctors watching his every move. Mental illness doesn’t stereotype a person as a ‘freak’. It just means that the way in which one thinks is different. He is physically active and for him to do such a marvellous thing, such has writing poetry has not just given us the pleasure in reading his wonderful masterpieces, he has also become an ‘role model’ figure, to other patients that belong to a mental institutions that there is another way of communicating even though the way in which their mind works is different.
I feel that both poems have done John Clare justice showing us both sides of his character. I am sure that John Clare will be a poet whose effect will stay with me forever.