• Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

Writing to Analyse, Review, and Comment: "Life is unfair" Is it?

Extracts from this document...

Introduction

1. Writing to Analyse, Review, and Comment: "Life is unfair" Is it? Don't you just miss those times as a child when we use to ask for something and get it straight away? The world was controlled by our fingertips. Well, that's what we believed in. But just that feeling of taking control was amazing. Right? Now it's the complete opposite. We have to bend on our knees to get something- even that don't work. Reality is unfair. Isn't it? Although, when we got what we want, we would cherish it for the rest of our lives, like a child swimming in sweets and chocolates. That is when we see life in a different prospectus Our society is changing day by day, and making us forget the word 'respect' which nowadays no one is able to find in their dictionary. ...read more.

Middle

I wake up every day with a smile on my face, ready to meet the people who make my day. Isn't that just fantastic? Don't you sometimes get the feeling that life is just perfect? Why wouldn't it be? We make up our society, and bring the brightness upon the environment. I remember those moments of my childhood like a clear glass; running to the park just to meet my friends so we can go out to play. We was like a rugby team, we followed each other's footstep from back to forth. Do you remember those moments? I bet you do because life was bright. It's always a classic when your friends go against you for no particular reasons. ...read more.

Conclusion

Then why should we complain. Our life is made up of shiny silver which glows upon everyone. There is always that feeling when you do something for someone, but think whether they will do the same for you. Believe me they do! Every help and support I gave to them, I received the same even more. How does that feel? Amazing! In my opinion I believe life is fair. We make our society and bring the goodness upon all. When you experience a moment, you will always cherish it in our heart and realise that whatever happens- life is fair. "What you give, you get", it's true! I had so many experiences in my life that, when something negative appears I just think of those moments which changes my opinion about the life we live in. ...read more.

The above preview is unformatted text

This student written piece of work is one of many that can be found in our GCSE Writing to Inform, Explain and Describe section.

Found what you're looking for?

  • Start learning 29% faster today
  • 150,000+ documents available
  • Just £6.99 a month

Here's what a star student thought of this essay

3 star(s)

Response to the question

This is a Writing to Argue task. The candidate is arguing the debate as to whether "Life is Unfair". The candidate maintains some focus on the proposed task although it could be considered that their argument is flawed in many ...

Read full review

Response to the question

This is a Writing to Argue task. The candidate is arguing the debate as to whether "Life is Unfair". The candidate maintains some focus on the proposed task although it could be considered that their argument is flawed in many ways. There is a good use of language and Second Person Address, but one could argue that this address is assuming that the candidate is writing on behalf of everyone else, and this is not the case given that most of the answer draws upon their own personal experiences. Candidates must set out from the very start (either in a plan or in their head) which sort of address they will use and what tactics they will employ in order to argue their case and belittle the opposing view.

Level of analysis

This is a very complex debate and requires a largely objective view, although it appears that this candidate has only addressed a very subjective view and drawn on their own personal experiences to inform their decision about which side of the debate they support. On top of that, the experiences appear clearly fictitious and do not feel genuine. Also, the use of sarcasm may work in small amounts, but this deeply sarcastic response closes the reader off, and simply insults them at times, belittling their intelligence and ability to think for themselves (e.g. the use of obviously rhetorical questions which then have the answer typed in itallicated font).
Further reasons why this argument is flawed is that there is no consideration of an opposing view. All Writing to Argue tasks require a balanced discussion, with the candidate considering another person's perspective. However, this candidate almost shoots themselves in the foot because they don't ever give themselves any room to consider that the "other side" are in the right. This is very poor writing ability and suggests that the candidate is being far too outright with their rebuttal and is not considering another point of view.

Quality of writing

The Quality of Written Communication is also very poor, as sentences read very badly due to a lack of basic grammar skills. "When you experience a moment, you will always cherish it in our heart and realise that whatever happens- life is fair. “What you give, you get”, it’s true!" sound like a mess of ideas strung together in one sentence until the candidate decided it was time for a full stop. This needs to be addressed as quite frequently the meaning of the piece is simply lost. This could be mean the examiner abandon the paper altogether for reasons of illegibility.


Did you find this review helpful? Join our team of reviewers and help other students learn

Reviewed by sydneyhopcroft 10/03/2012

Read less
Not the one? Search for your essay title...
  • Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

See related essaysSee related essays

Related GCSE Writing to Inform, Explain and Describe essays

  1. How does Shakespeare present Macbeth throughout the play

    Soon after this Macbeth begins to lose everything he won by cheating. At the end of the play Macbeth does not want to fight anymore because he knows he won't be able to win against the troops that have attacked his castle but he does believe that he will not

  2. Imagine that you are a survivor from the Titanic. Write anaccount of your experiences.

    The evening was very calm but the Titanic was not. People were still on board and were rushing about, trying to find some way to live another day. The lights from the ship began to flicker. They would go out or flash for a few minutes, then all of a sudden all the lights went out.

  1. Film review of Pirates of Caribbean

    A bit of colour on her cheeks: a lady-like rose blush and lots of lip gloss." Get ready to see lots more of the natural look, because we took notes! Aside from the makeup, we think the costumes should be given credit as well.

  2. Imagine you survived the Titanic disaster - write a descriptive piece about your experiences

    night and I wished that I had put some other piece of clothing on underneath my life vest, since I was still in my robe and nightclothes. As the night air was chilling my bones, so did the following sentence that a senior crew member barked to his comrades.

  1. An Unforgettable Experience

    The subsequent morning, we continued our travels to Delaware. I had always had an illusive of United States of America being an affluent and lavish country with endless dense forests filled with menacing grizzly bears. I contemplated that the citizens would be a paragon of health and robustness, like the mountains, which were associated with North America.

  2. Adult Review - Harry Potter

    Tilted camera angles are also used to great effect by suggesting a greater imbalance between the forces of good and evil, especially during the scenes when the Time Turner is used, and when Professor Trelawney makes her unnerving, slightly crazed predictions.

  1. write a biography on the most important person in your life.

    time that she was going to spend much of her earlier years in this small cottage. Mrs. Hawkes never had a very deep and bonded relationship with her mother, and her sisters weren't close to her either. She didn't feel comfortable at the time but in a few months she was very much close to her eldest sister, Joanne.

  2. Trials of Life.

    'No ooooooooooo!!!!!!, this cannot be happening to me'. Justin, the family doctor and a close friend tried to make him stop but he kept saying 'Gabrielle, how could you leave me at a time like this ............... I can never be the same without you.'

  • Over 160,000 pieces
    of student written work
  • Annotated by
    experienced teachers
  • Ideas and feedback to
    improve your own work