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Writing to argue against having a prom. What do we really get out of having a prom?

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Introduction

Writing to argue against having a prom: What do we really get out of having a prom? People assume that when they have a prom they have embarked - automatically - into adulthood. Obviously there are some reasons to hold a prom, but do they seriously outweigh the potential drawbacks that can occur? This is going to be very important year for us and the school; for us, we are setting the foundations for our longer term education and for the school their reputation is at stake in terms of the quality of education they provide. Therefore my fellow friends - and teachers, we know that our time has the upmost value and our activities must be prioritised. ...read more.

Middle

Where are we going to be in 10 to 20 years down the line when we would be thinking, only if... This is going to be a very long and arduous year for all of us and we all know that. But we all know it's all unconditionally worth it. So we have to get our head down and work, or tell others to work (glance at teachers). Please don't think that I'm making am impulsive judgement but actually, research states that 75% of schools in the UK tend to get underachieving student due to the fact they have a prom during their exams. However, 80% of schools in the UK get on target or overachieving students provided that their prom doesn't coincide with their exams. ...read more.

Conclusion

Also, on a more unimaginable yet still realistic note, please consider what could happen if the prom got out of hand and there might be an outbreak of unprecedented violence. The school's reputation would be in shambles and I'm sure the parents wouldn't be happy to see what might happen, heaven forbid. All I'm trying to say is that there is a far greater risk in organising and carrying out a prom that we may think. Is it really what we will want in this present situation? We don't need a prom to socialise, imagine all the time we are going to have during the summer holidays to meet our mates and have fun. I hope I have shown you all today that realistically the drawbacks are too great for all the potential rewards there may be from a prom. ...read more.

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Response to the question

This is a task asking candidate to write an argument against having a school prom. The answer must be a well-constructed argument against the idea, possibly providing alternative celebration options, and it must address a counter-argument; view the prom from ...

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Response to the question

This is a task asking candidate to write an argument against having a school prom. The answer must be a well-constructed argument against the idea, possibly providing alternative celebration options, and it must address a counter-argument; view the prom from another party's perspective. The candidate shows all the potential for making an argument against the prom, but what little appreciation is required for the understanding of why the prom might be a good idea is non-existent. Only very small nuances are made - not hardly enough to consider it a balanced answer. Instead of considering the other opinion, this candidate seems to rubbish the possibility of a prom completely, so whilst their argument is strong, it is not a fair discussion.

Level of analysis

The candidate has disaplyed an array of techniques useful for an effective argument against the prom, though it might be said that their statistical figures abppear slightly inflated - can the prom really make the much difference? Rationality is important when constructing arguments and all candidates should be aware the just because a statistic such as under-achieving students isn't over 50% doesn't make it useless. As well as this, there is a flaw in the candidate's argument when they say: "80% of schools in the UK get [...] overachieving students provided that their prom doesn’t coincide with their exams. This clearly states that we shouldn’t be having a prom, simply because of what the facts show us". This a very pig-headed argument as the facts are grossly generalised and taken out of context, even if the facts are fictitious. The candidate speaks of school having over-achieveing students "provided that their prom doesn't coincide with their exams", and then insists that their own schools prom must immediately be called off, regardless of whether it coincides with exams or not. Inconsistentcies like these will prevent the argument from appearing as genuine as possible.

Quality of writing

There are regular errors made to spelling, punctuation and grammar in this answer. Though none are at the extent which their answer becomes ambiguous and unreadable, precaution should be takien before submitting coursework or closing the exam booklet as proof-reading can easily iron out these writing errors.


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Reviewed by sydneyhopcroft 22/02/2012

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