In the movie About a Boy, Marcus’s mother, Fiona, walks him to school and tells him she loves him. She says to him, “You’re you, not a sheep,” reminding him that he is an individual rather than a cookie cutout of everyone else. This sort of parenting makes an adolescent strong and independent. When a parent takes the time to ask questions and get to know their kids, it only builds on their relationship. An adolescent will feel more comfortable to go to their parents with problems and questions as long as the parent makes it known that they are willing to talk with them at any time without forcing them to reveal every detail of their lives. An open parent means an open child. If you want to know more about your kids, then let them know more about you.
On the other hand, in Michael Moore’s documentary, Bowling for Columbine, there was actual footage of the Columbine massacre. As the shootings were happening, the father of one of the gunman called saying he thought his boy was a part of it. He explained that his son had been having some trouble and always wore black trench coats. The father obviously had no idea what was going on in his son’s head. He had a feeling his son was doing this so why did he not take action prior to this incident? If this father would have taken more time to become close to his child, then he may have discovered that there was more going on than it seemed. He could have received help for the boy and even prevented the tragic crime that took many lives, including his own. Not every case is this extreme, but a parent who speaks with their children will most likely be able to stop any problems before they get too severe.
The most important thing to think about is how much a parent truly changes the life of a growing adolescent. In one case they can be a solution, while in the other they might only make things worse. A child whose parents that have played an important role in their life, usually will have a more positive mindset, be confident, and are more motivated to obtain the goals that they set for themselves. It would be assumed that every parent wants their children to have those qualities, however they don't realize what a big influence they have. Consequently, when a parent is not involved and does not communicate with their kids, the teens are more apt to become less social, make bad decisions such as using drugs or alcohol, and develop depression. The children might start to rebel because they've grown to believe that their parents don't care about the decisions they make or the things they do. In general, the child who has parents that show they care are more likely to grow up with higher self-esteem and morale.
In conclusion, the amount of effort a parent puts into becoming a part of their children's lives, ultimately effects the way those children will perceive life itself. Therefore, two adolescents may appear to be the same type of "average" teenager, when in fact, their parents are a huge factor in why they are completely different.
