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I am going to develop an action plan for Sarah Macintosh. She is 22 and single. Sarah is slightly overweight

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  • Essay length: 1803 words
  • Submitted: 17/04/2012
  • Marked by teacher: (?) Diane Apeah-Kubi
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GCSE Health and Social Care

Teacher essay summary

4 star(s)

I thought this was a very good plan overall. The writer identifies the problems and mostly devises realistic and appropriate goals to address the issues. I was particularly pleased with the menu plan. Remember to use evidence to support comments about weight or cigarette usage. It is not enough to say 'she smokes a lot'. The writing style is good on the whole which helps the reader to understand the points being made.

Marked by teacher Diane Apeah-Kubi 16/12/1999

The first 200 words of this essay...

Action plan

I am going to develop an action plan for Sarah Macintosh. She is 22 and single. Sarah is slightly overweight and despite her best efforts and 5 GCSEs cannot find a job she is happy with, she is slightly picky however. At the moment she is living with her single parent sister and her 2 children and their little dog but she is not happy with where she lives and would like to get a house of her own someday. This however is very hard because she is in huge debt and can barely afford food, often borrowing money from her sister. She can't stop buying unnecessary items of clothing from expensive designer labels. The debt and lack of independence and space has leaded her to deep depression. She understands that she is not healthy and rated her own health as 2/5 and admitted to not eating enough fruits or vegetables. She doesn't exercise but has shown some interest in trying new sports. She is a heavy smoker and has attempted to stop but still smokes a significant amount of cigarettes, wasting her money and making her ill. She has made it clear she has previously attempted

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MbT essay summary

I thought this was a very good plan overall. The writer identifies the problems and mostly devises realistic and appropriate goals to address the issues. I was particularly pleased with the menu plan. Remember to use evidence to support comments about weight or cigarette usage. It is not enough to say 'she smokes a lot'. The writing style is good on the whole which helps the reader to understand the points being made.

Marked by teacher Diane Apeah-Kubi 16/12/1999

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Peer reviewed

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