Here we have a poem at once brief, tender, learned, and tough: perhaps the learning may seem to make it a strange tribute to address to a child who died on his seventh birthday from a father’s point of view. On the other hand, the second poem in consideration, i.e. Chinua Achebe’s- Refugee Mother and Child, is from a mother’s point of view about the soon-to-come death or parting of her child from her (being refugees). As for the language, it is pretty much contemporary English but yet creates the same kind of images as those in On My First Sonne. Here too, a little bit of religion is introduced as the poet is comparing this mother and child’s bond to that of Mary and Jesus. This adds a sense of spirituality in the poem. Upon reading both poems in sequence and comparing them, dramatic pictures are ‘painted’ in our minds which add a sense of seriousness and intensity to both of them. Simply put in words, the parents’ love is a child lost in a large maze which represents the sorrow and remorse, ironically over the death of that very lost child!
The poem is full of graphic images and vivid description of the situation, creating an imagery which the reader can sense and even feel. He creates such vividness that the reader can actually imagine himself/herself in the refugee camp with all these mothers and their children. The tone of the poem is sad with a central theme of love, care and tenderness as the poem is based on the reality of everyday life i.e. the feelings of the parents towards their children. The seriousness in the poem is brought out extravagantly by the mood of the poem. It is sad, remorseful and can remind somebody the true meaning of a mother’s bond with her child.
Coming to the technical aspects of the poem, the “B” sound shows the harsh reality that is life and “death” and suffering (in this case at the camp). The three Bs in the lines “…bottoms struggling…blown empty bellies.” are expressed in a tough manner when the poet could have easily used soft sounding words. That would take away the “feel” of the poem. The technical aspects also contribute a lot to the atmosphere in the poem. The use of long sentences, adds a sense of the dull, remorseful, unhealthy, negative atmosphere.
This is in contrast to the short sentences with a definite rhyme scheme in On My First Sonne. In this case the short sentences add a rhythm to the poem which brings out the content as even more serious. Like a race with time to forget something sad.
The "rust colored hair left" proves to be another situation that illustrates the under-nourishment of the child and the lack of food. In a way it shows the unnatural situation as iron only rusts when it is ‘worn-out’. The word "skull" is also disturbing (instead of using word “head”) and it reflects back to the previous line where the writer mentioned "ghost smile", hence by showing these two images in joint relation to death, the writer shows that the fate of her child dying is near. We must also note the use of ellipses that force the reader, by having a small pause to swiftly reflect back on the poem, to think of the emotional bond between mother and child.
In this poem, “combed the rust-coloured / hair left on his skull and then - / singing…daily act of no consequence before his / breakfast and school; now she / did it like putting flowers on a tiny grave”, the combing of hair is the last indication. It is a custom, and is a simple act taken for granted in our everyday lives. It is the very last loving touch of the mother. Due to the infirmity of the child, the mother offers her child, with the only simple pleasure she can present him before his death; she combs his hair like any other mother would. This part of the poem not only makes us sympathize for the mother but also empathize. Giving a simple example and comparison, the poet creates a clear picture in our minds as to what she really felt and how we would feel in a situation as that. The comparison of combing hair to putting flowers on a grave is very disturbing indeed and makes the readers think again whether this really is as serious as he/she thinks. Is the mother accepting the death of her son after having already cried over it?
In the same way, in On My First Sonne, the father learns to soon accept the fate that has been brought upon his son and him. “O, could I loose all father, now.”- This line starts giving us an impression that he wants to let the sorrow pass and let go of his son which is no doubt hard for any parent to do. He thinks it fair that his son is taken from him as debt at this time.
Focusing back onto Jonson’s poem, we can see that he is blaming himself rhetorically for his son’s death. He says that GOD lent him his son for seven years and now he is paying his son back as debt on such a day as that of Judgement. But if the loan of the child's soul has been restored to heaven, what can it be which responds to the earthly father's command in the poem's last four lines to speak the epitaph?
“O, could I loose all father, now. For why / will man lament the state he should envie? ...” Here, and in the following lines, Jonson recognizes that his grief for his son is not to do with what is best for the child himself (whose state is to be envied considering he is in a better place now) but to do with his own personal feelings as a father who has suffered loss. Specifically, the child has escaped the four enemies of man i.e. the devil, the world, aging and the flesh- which is illustrated very well with the use of the phrase “fleshes rage” which creates that image of misery, bad and evil of the world today.
The use of rhetorical questions which he is unable to answer himself such as that in lines 7-8 add more intensity to the emotion of Ben Jonson. All he can say in answer to such questions is “Rest in soft peace…poetrie.” ‘The obedient speaker of the epitaph can only be the child's dust: and it is this dust alone (not the child's soul), which, most touchingly, is declared to be Ben Jonson's best piece of poetry. Here is Ben Jonson at his least arrogant.’ At this point, he is willing to let the sorrow pass and turn over a new leaf which is negative yet better as compared to this emotional blow. While over here, Jonson is willing to never again love somebody as much so as to avoid facing this misery again. This is brought out through the last two lines of the poem.
Contrastingly, in Refugee Mother and Child, the mother still showed her love and affection towards the child in the last few days. She cannot let go as easily. Most mothers would in this situation have lost hope and would have “ceased / to care…” but not her. She would ‘fight’ this sorrow till the end.
Both poems hence clearly depict the true feelings about the death of a child. We get the perspective from two points of view in either case i.e. from a mother’s and a father’s point of view and the feeling before and after the death of a child. The language used is very specific and has been used in the most appropriate contexts. Sorrow and remorse are the main themes of both poems along with death of a child, yet there is another shadow of a theme i.e. the ‘sin’ of loving the child so much which causes almost endless grief in the end.