At this time Patmore's father was financially embarrassed; and in 1846 Richard Monckton Milnes, 1st Baron Houghton obtained for Coventry the post of assistant librarian in the British Museum, a post he occupied for nineteen years, devoting his spare time to poetry. In 1847 he married Emily, daughter of Dr Andrews of Camberwell. At the Museum he was instrumental in 1852 in starting the Volunteer movement. He wrote an important letter to The Times upon the subject, and stirred up much martial enthusiasm among his colleagues.
In the next year he republished, in Tamerton Church Tower, the more successful pieces from the Poems of 1844, adding several new poems which showed distinct advance, both in conception and treatment; and in the following year (1854) appeared the first part of his best known poem, "The Angel in the House," which was continued in "The Espousals" (1856), "Faithful for Ever" (1860), and "The Victories of Love" (1862). In 1862 he lost his wife, after a long and lingering illness, and shortly afterwards joined the Roman Catholic church.
In 1865 he married again, his second wife being Marianne Byles, daughter of James Byles of Bowden Hall, Gloucester; and a year later purchased an estate in East Grinstead, the history of which he wrote in How I managed my Estate (1886). In 1877 appeared The Unknown Eros, which unquestionably contains his finest work in poetry, and in the following year Amelia, his own favourite among his poems, together with an interesting essay on English Metrical Law. This departure into criticism continued in 1879 with a volume of papers entitled Principle in Art, and again in 1893 with Religio poetae. His second wife died in 1880, and in the next year he married Harriet Robson. In later years he lived at Lymington, where he died.
A collected edition of his poems appeared in two volumes in 1886, with a characteristic preface which might serve as the author's epitaph. "I have written little," it runs; "but it is all my best; I have never spoken when I had nothing to say, nor spared time or labour to make my words true. I have respected posterity; and should there be a posterity which cares for letters, I dare to hope that it will respect me." The obvious sincerity which underlies this statement, combined with a certain lack of humour which peers through its naïveté, points to two of the principal characteristics of Patmore's earlier poetry; characteristics which came to be almost unconsciously merged and harmonized as his style and his intention drew together into unity.
His best work is found in the volume of odes called The Unknown Eros, which is full not only of passages but of entire poems in which exalted thought is expressed in poetry of the richest and most dignified melody. Spirituality informs his inspiration; the poetry is glowing and alive. The magnificent piece in praise of winter, the solemn and beautiful cadences of "Departure," and the homely but elevated pathos of "The Toys," are in their various manners unsurpassed in English poetry. Patmore is one of the best-regarded Victorian poets.
The Toys:
The Toys is a description of how, the persona, a father felt after scolding his child too harshly but also manages to combine the child’s and fathers feelings.
The first line shows how the child is obviously apprehensive about something. The fact that he is looking gives the reader a sense of distance from the father. Emphasis on the child’s eyes continues through out the poem. Here they are described as thoughtful, which gives the reader the impression of innocence and a strong sense of silence, as if the room is quiet and tense.
The child ‘moves and speaks in grown up wise’ meaning that he has experienced his fathers disciplinary tactics before and knows to be cautious. The child has misbehaved seven times and now faces punishment from his father. The use of the words ‘I struck him, and dismiss’d’ are both short, and harsh. The word dismiss’d is very final, and cannot be contested, a dismissal seems an almost cruel act. The child is then sent to bed and the poet comments on his mother having passed away, which further finalises his earlier remarks as there is no one to contest them.
The persona soon feels guilty and worries that the child will not sleep as he feels he was too harsh. The use of the word grief here and the fact that the persona uses it shows us that he understands how he has mistreated the child.
The vivid description of the child’s sleeping state is in place to place emphasis on the reader’s emotional side. Again the poet describes the child’s eyes, as the descriptions ‘darkened eyelids’ and ‘sobbing wet lashes’ seem to draw contrast with the wide eyed ‘thoughtful’ eyes at the beginning of the poem.
The father then shows further remorse by shedding tears of his own. The ‘moan’ the persona expresses is almost mirrored in the reader’s reaction and it allows the reader to empathise with the fathers feelings of regret and remorse.
The persona then describes the articles left on the table by the child, arranged in a somber playful fashion the reader and persona almost feel the child’s absolute remorse and sorrow. But it is the way that the child’s actions show that he was almost guilty about his now irrelevant crime that strikes the deepest chord with the reader.
The persona then retreats to prayer. He describes a ‘tranced breath’ which means a permanent state of shock, or death. ‘And thou rememberest of what toys We made our joys’ describes the way people sometimes use objects to comfort them in times of remorse. The persona now talking directly to god through prayer describes how on the day of his death he hopes God will be more lenient than he has been to his son.