Once the 5 men had settled down, the Indian began, “Friends I have come a fair distance to teach you the art of peace”. “Wos that mate?”, came the prompt reply from the Australian. “ It is also known as sports and is fighting in a sense. It is lucrative and helps to build large empires.” “Then woch u waiting for, tell us!” yelled the hyper Scot. “Then gentlemen allow me to introduce you to the sport known as KIRKIT!!!!!!!”
It is played with a rubber ball which is hurled at a warrior (a.k.a batsman) brandishing a bamboo stick and protecting three bamboo sticks rooted into the ground. It is to be played in streets, crowded areas but the ideal place being an area enclosed by many buildings. The objective of the game is to see how many windows of surrounding buildings can be broken before the bamboo sticks are knocked over by the bowler.
This immediately caught the interest of the 4 men and they even made teams of 11. But there was a small problem; they had no bamboo sticks, rubber or even the glass that had to be broken. “Where will we get all that, mate?” squealed the Australian. “ Not to worry my dear friend, you will get it from us of course”, said the smiling Indian. That’s the whole point of Kirkit, my dear Watson.
Soon kirkit caught on like wildfire. As warriors of other countries soon got bored of mauling each other to death, they decided they too would play ‘kirkit’. The keenly contested matches between Australia and England soon get fiercer than ever after an Australian smashed a window of the Buckingham palace by mistake. The broken glass was collected, placed in an urn and was appropriately named the “Smashes”. This became the ultimate challenge for the two teams.
Meanwhile the export industry of India has reached its peak with massive amounts of bamboo, rubber and glass being sold off to other countries. Suddenly a “chap’ named Boycott (what a crazy name) started to boycott cricket on behalf of England, as he claimed that kirkit was actually a Celtic game that had been played at Stonehenge, where the giant stones were the “wikuts.” He then went on to make a list of his findings on a sheet. Being a Taurian he believed in the bull and thus called his sheet- “Bull Sheet”.
He was quickly called up to India where a diplomatic meeting between him and a person called Sidhu occurred. A deal was made and new rules were decided. The English had surplus wood and leather, thus the bats and “wikuts” were to be changed into wood and the ball into leather. Also, the batsmen had to run between the wickets to score runs. This would make them thirsty and make them consume large amounts of Tea before, after and during the matches. Thus “kirkit” evolved into cricket.
But before that, the glass smashed during the last match of Kirkit was re melted into the shape of a large cup which was then fought for every 4 years by every country in the world. That large sheet was suitably called the “WORLD CUP”.
And that is the end of my theory. HOWZAT!
Disclaimer: This is a theory based on the vast amounts of empty space in Abhishek’s head. It does not by any means compel you to believe and is purely made for the fun of it. (But if you do believe it then you have really lost it.)
