• Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

Small rodents make wonderful pets.

Extracts from this document...


Small rodents make wonderful pets. Anyone who has owned one would readily aggree that hamsters, girlbils, and mice provide an owner with hours of amusement and years of companionship. Rabbits are fabulous for those who are looking for a quiet playmate, while rats and ferrets are hyperactive and surprisingly intelligent. Guinea pigs are another very popular choice for a small pet. A website dedicated to guinea pigs boasts on their front page that there is no question that "guinea pigs make excellent pets [and are] docile, low maintenance, and unbelievably cute."

I strongly beg to differ, unless "docile" means "boring" and "low maintenance" means that you only need to scoop up piggy pellet poop every few minutes. Calling a guinea pig "unbelievably cute" is at, very best, a far stretch. Their bodies are shaped like a packing tube, fat through the middle and flat at both ends.

To anyone who is considering purchasing a guinea pig and is convinced that no other rodent will do, I would urge them to go to a local lumber yard and get themselves a lovely block of wood instead. I am convinced that after weighing the positives and negatives, an ordinary log would prove to be a far better pet than a guinea pig.

...read more.


A block of wood, however, can be an indoor or outdoor pet regardless of the weather, and requires no housing other than the surface you choose to put him on. Just think of the floor space saved! He will just as happily "sit and stay" under your bed as perched on your mantle. No messy, smelly bedding or chewed-up accessories are required to keep a pet wooden block happy and healthy. When they are deserving of a treat, no foodstuffs or toys are needed; a hug and some verbal praise are all it takes to tell him that he has been a good boy. Score two for the block of wood.

It is not enough to merely house the guinea pig. No, guinea pigs require a great deal of time-consuming care to keep them healthy. Nail trimming is a must to avoid nasty scratches inflicted on both human and pig, and the manicure process can take on the feeling of a Three Stooges episode with a seemingly-lazy animal suddenly springing to life in a squealing attempt to escape your well-meaning efforts. Teeth must be checked for overgrowth and decay, often caused by a poor diet. Their bedding must be completely changed at least once a week, both for sanitary reasons as well as the unpleasant odors that radiate from an unattended cage.

...read more.


Although a pet wooden block has some similarity to the guinea pig in that it naturally is very still, he makes no nerve-grinding cries for attention and produces no waste product what-so-ever. This last fact alone sends a wooden block soaring above a guinea pig in the contest of who would make a better pet.

Compound all these painful piggy truths with the undeniable fact that, even in apperance, a guinea pig is nothing more than a fur-covered log with eyeballs, it leads to the question, "Well, what does the guinea pig do that the block of wood doesn't do better?"

The answer, quite simply, is nothing.

...read more.

This student written piece of work is one of many that can be found in our GCSE Pay Phone Problem section.

Found what you're looking for?

  • Start learning 29% faster today
  • 150,000+ documents available
  • Just £6.99 a month

Not the one? Search for your essay title...
  • Join over 1.2 million students every month
  • Accelerate your learning by 29%
  • Unlimited access from just £6.99 per month

See related essaysSee related essays

Related GCSE Pay Phone Problem essays

  1. Were coins used in the Roman Empire more for propaganda purposes or as a ...

    So we stamp a value on the coin. One coin that changed was the Antoninianus15. This coin was once a silver coin but, then became a copper coin that that had a silver outer coating. This coin is like the modern day coin, where coins are made of cheap base metals.

  2. Some of the characters in Daz 4 Zoe choose to rebel write about: What ...

    Daz followed them but they didn't hear him because they were taking loudly, when they stopped Daz hid behind a wall and waited for the "Wentworths" to come. Then Daz picked up "Dels gun" and he shoots it at the guy in front of him, the guys "face hit the wall in front of him".

  1. Perception - the interpretation of information.

    He showed them the cube at different angles, at different distances and also differently sized cubes at various distances. The idea was that the babies were born with size consistency, they would still recognise the cube even when it was further away and looked smaller.

  2. Mathematics Coursework : The Phone Box Problem

    would say this was the Fibinachi series which means to work out the next one you have to add the two previous terms to work out the next term. You can right it as the equation: Tn=(Tn-1)+(Tn-2) Tn means term number Prediction I would say using the Fibinachi series the

  1. Most Wanted Hi, it's me! What, you don't know who I am? That's impossible

    You see, I regard my work as an initial aid. But some guys are so stupid! They are so dependent and not able to find anything inspirational around them, not even a drop of the broad hint. Mozart was one of them, this little brat.

  2. America - September 11th - Creative writitng.

    little girl, I figured this was where they would make their move and announce to the passengers that plane was actually headed somewhere else. He stood behind the girl then reached into his pocket and pulled out the sharp knife. In a split second I grabbed my gun and shot.

  1. 2001 A space odyssey

    The leopard killing the zebra Is a key element to the opening scene representing the behaviour of man the Zebra is a coexistence of black and white? Good an bad together just like man, making the leopard the destruction of man kind maybe symbolising the bomb.

  2. It is so hot, that is the thought that has been running through my ...

    I must do deals bigger than this at least every few months with out fail with some type of narcotic, but just because this is a smaller deal, it does not mean it's a smaller risk. What I usually do in instances like this, when the product is coming in

  • Over 160,000 pieces
    of student written work
  • Annotated by
    experienced teachers
  • Ideas and feedback to
    improve your own work