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Using Counselling skills

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Derwentside College 43113

NCFE Counselling Skills and Theory

Using Counselling skills

Before I started I went over a contract and I told Jillian how I was using the content of the session to write an assignment for the course that I am doing at college and that only myself, my course tutor and maybe an outside assessor for the course would see what was written about the session and that she could read the assignment before I showed anyone else.  I stated that almost everything that was said to me would be confidential, although working along the B.A.C.P ethical guidelines, confidentiality may have to be broken if it became clear that serious harm may be caused to others or herself. We agreed that this would be a one off session that would last around 30 minutes.

I explained a little about Person-Centred counselling to Jillian, I explained that counselling is a way of using a relationship, in this case between myself (acting as the counsellor)

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Jillian started by saying that she was undecided whether or not to end the relationship with Tony as she felt that if anyone found out, it would end up hurting up his whole family, children included. I reflected feeling back to Jillian. Here is an example of what was said;

J: I’m in two-minds whether or not to finish it altogether, imagine how the kids would feel if they found out, everyone would get hurt.

S: So you’re feeling unsure as what to do, whether to end the relation ship or not. (reflecting feeling)

J: Yes, I want to keep seeing him but I don’t want anyone getting hurt, but I suppose his wife will find out eventually anyway. (response)

Jillian talked about being mixed up and not being able to decide if she really wanted a relationship or if she was just scared of being alone. I paraphrased this back to Jillian.


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I feel I demonstrated unconditional positive regard (acceptance) by being non-judgemental and warm towards Jillian. Even though I may not have approved of what she was doing I did not allow her behaviours to influence adversely my regard for her.

I demonstrated genuineness (congruence) by my general manner towards Jillian. I did not pretend or simulate responses towards Jillian, I feel that I was sincere towards her and that she was able to trust me because of this.

I empathised with Jillian and tried to look at her situation from her point of view, hopefully showing an understanding of her feelings and thoughts helping her to focus more clearly on her underlying feelings which in turn allowed her to move forward and make progress.

Overall I feel the session went well.

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