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Advertising my area
The first 200 words of this essay...
J'habite dans une région ancienne et très grande. Elle s'appelle Hoxton. Elle se trouve à Shoreditch. Certain quartiers dans ma région sont surpeuplés, mais ils ont beaucoup de magasins. Le conseil est en train de faire beaucoup de travaux pour moderniser les quartiers ; ils ont mis de nouvelles portes dans toutes les maisons. Ma région est animée, propre et attrayante. Certain maisons dans ma région sont grandes, mais la majorité sont petites. Il y'a un certain nombre de domaines; par exemple ; la bibliothèque, le parc etc. Les magasins dans ma région sont multicultures ; il y'a une dans chaque rue.
On doit visiter Hoxton parce que c'est un quartier très intéressant. Elle est entourée par des bâtiments historiques du 18ème siècle. En visitant Hoxton, on peut apprendre beaucoup de choses ; elle constitue de nombreuses et différentes cultures qui se trouvent partout à Hoxton.
La plupart de Hoxton avant le 17ème siècle était des champs d'Anglo-Saxon. Elle a Pris son nom de l'Anglo-Saxon mot `Hogesdon', signifiant 'la ferme'. Aussi, Hoxton a été succédé par les Romans au 1er siècle, mais ils ne sont pas restés longtemps.
A Hoxton, il y'a beaucoup d'activités, et on peut
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Review of essay
Rating: 5 star(s)
Response to the question
Response to Question
The brief for this essay is generally quite broad, allowing candidates to talk about a range of different things, but I really like the candidate's discussion of the history of Hoxton, because I think that it's something a little different to the average 'Advertising My Area' essay, and it allows the candidate to get in tenses like the perfect and imperfect, showing they're a higher level candidate. They also write about local attractions and transport, making for a well-rounded answer to the question.
Level of analysis
Level of Analysis
This candidate's level of analysis is sufficient for GCSE, particularly as there is no great requirement for sophisticated or extensive analysis in Modern Foreign Languages at GCSE level. The candidate expands on the points they make, giving extra detail about the amenities they describe (a good example is the sentence on the park in the fourth paragraph), and the explanation of the etymology of "Hoxton" is interesting and goes beyond the level expected at GCSE, demonstrating to the examiner that this is a very strong candidate
Quality of writing
Quality of Writing
The level of French is very good for GCSE, with examples of a nice range of tenses and grammar being used (perfect, imperfect, present, present participles, simple future). I think that particularly in the first paragraph, the candidate should work on extending their short sentences to make the essay flow a little better, but this is quite a minor point, however, doing so would allow them to show the examiner they are able to use more complex sentence structure. Adjectival agreement is also of a very high standard, and the candidate's use of language is of an undoubtedly A* candidate.
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