Comment la technologie a transfé notre vie quotidienne?
Le monde d'aujourd'hui a changé beaucoup à cause de l'assistance de la technologie. Les choses qui ont été font une fois ou à la main sont devenus manuellement informatisé. Avec un clic simple d'une souris informatique, une tâche est accomplie. Avec la technologie, les gens ont la capacité d' obtenir des informations qui est en haut dater. L'impact de la technologie peut être vu dans chaque aspect de vie humaine. L'impact de gammes de la technologie des affaires au loisir et même à la société elle-même. Les ordinateurs personnels, les téléphones cellulaires, des faxs, les radiomessageurs, l'e-mail, et l'Internet sont devenus une partie intégrale de société d'aujourd'hui, mais aussi le jeu rôles essentiels dans les vies de tous les jours des gens. Comme la technologie se développe, il y a non seulement des avantages, mais les aussi désavantages.
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Peer Reviews
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Quality of writing
The grammatical errors in this piece really let it down, many of which have likely come about by using online translators – avoid these except for words and short phrases when writing your essays. If you have a query, ask your teacher. Occasionally, there are incomplete sentences, e.g. « L’impact de gammes de la technologie des affaires au loisir et même àla société elle-même » , which lacks both a verb and a predicate. The candidate has also incorrectly formed the negative on a few occasions : « il y a non » doesn’t make sense – it should of course be « Il n’y a pas ». Avoid using constructs such as « bien que » if you haven’t learned the subjunctive – the candidate has written « Bien qu'il y a », which should be « bien qu’il y ait », and occasionally the candidates’ verbs don’t agree in number with the subjects : « les Etats-Unis influence », and there are also numerous typing mistakes. To get good marks it is essential that you use correct grammar as far as possible when writing your coursework. Consult you teacher and your textbook if you are unsure, and make sure to double check everything for spelling, grammar and punctuation before handing it in.
Level of analysis
The level of analysis is appropriate for this level. The candidate has discussed the advantages of new technology, that communication has become easier, cheaper, more efficient etc, and then moves on to talk about the disadvantages. This is fine, though perhaps the candidate could have expanded a bit more on some points s/he has made, or perhaps used some statistics gathered from his/her own research into this topic, or looked to see if there was a relevant story on a French news site, from which material could be incorporated. Nevertheless, the candidate has included enough material for to make a good essay.
Response to question
The candidate has addressed the question well, although there are many areas for improvement, especially in relation to grammar. The essay is structured well – s/he discusses the advantages/disadvantages of “La technologie†and there is a clear introduction and conclusion.