C’est très important d’être en bonne santé et je pense qu’il y a plusieurs façons de
garder la forme. Moi personnellement je crois que j’ai un bon style de vie et une
alimentation saine.
J’ai toujours été très sportive, j’ai commence à nager come j’avais 5 ans. Ensuit, j’ai
fait de l’équitation pendant deux ans et aujourd’hui je m’entraine toutes les
semaines au tennis. C’est sympa parce que mes amis nous participons à des
tournois mensuels. Pour moi c’est nécessaire, j’en ai besoin et je pense que ça
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Peer Reviews
Here's what a star student thought of this essay
Quality of writing
The quality of writing is good, there are few mistakes overall and the candidate has used a wide range of tenses and grammatical features, such as direct pronouns, correctly. However there are some minor spelling mistakes throughout the essay, e.g. « Ensuit », which should be « Ensuite », « J’ai commence » instead of « J’ai commencé ». The candidate has also used « Je crois », which, as it uses the subjuctive, should be avoided by GCSE candidates, unless your teacher has gone beyond the syllabus. « Je pense » or « A mon avis… » are suitable substitutes.
Level of analysis
The level of analysis is appropriate for a GCSE level essay. There is a lot of discussion of various health issues – keeping fit, diet and smoking, although she has not attempted to write about alcohol or drugs. The candidate has given many reasons about why smoking etc is bad and has given her opinions throughout, however the essay could be improved by the inclusion of a greater amount of detail, and perhaps by the use of statistics.
Response to question
The candidate has responded well to the prompt to write about ways of keeping healthy, and has included a lot of detail about her own experiences of sport and its benefits, and offered a lot of her own opinions. However, there are some minor spelling mistakes and the essay could be more detailed in places.
