On doit manger beacoup de légumes et de fruit ça donne riche de vitamine C, J’essaye de manger plus de fruits tous les jours. Il faut éviter de manger trop de pizza et d’autres aliments gras parce que ça cause de l’obésité aussi pour être en bonne santé on ne doit pas boire de l’alcool. Je crois qu’il est important de manger un régime équilibré et faire de l’exercice régulièrement. J’essaie d’éviter de regarder trop la télévision pendant trop longtemps. Je suis en bonne forme, pour garder la forme je fais du jogging chaque jour mais je pourrais manger plus sainement, parce je grignote souvent entre les repas. Une tendance de manger des sucréries. Cependant je mange régulièrement des fruits et légumes, parce ils sont vraiment sains.
This is a preview of the whole essay
Teacher Reviews
Here's what a teacher thought of this essay
This is a 5 star piece of work. It uses a variety of tenses, personal opinions, negative phrases and extended sentences. To improve and ensure the top grades, check accents carefully and reread to make sure that sentences flow properly.
Peer Reviews
Here's what a star student thought of this essay
Quality of writing
The candidate has tried to use as much varied French vocabularly as possible, for example the idiom « il faut pas pousser mémé dans les orties », and this is impressive and shows the examiner that this a candidate with a command of a large selection of French vocabulary and expressions. However there are a lot of typing mistakes, for example, the above example should read « il ne faut pas pousser mémé dans les orties » - it is very important that work is proofread before being submitted. In general, though, the work is very accurate and the candidate has used a wide range of tenses and grammatical features.
Level of analysis
The level of analysis here is fine for a GCSE piece of work – the candidate has discussed various ways of keeping healthy, and his opinions on them, as well as offering a personal perspective as to what he does in his own life e.g. swimming, and his negative views of smoking, and there is a small discussion of the positive and negative effects of alcohol. This is very good, although the essay could benefit from having a bit more structure – the candidate moves between different topics throughout the essay and a clearer structure would make his thoughts and opinions on the matter a bit easier to follow.
Response to question
The candidate has responded well to the prompt to write about ways of keeping healthy. He has taken the opportunity to address various ways of keeping healthy, for example, exercise and diet, and refraining from alcohol, and at the same time given a personal perspective on the issue by discussing what he himself does to keep healthy and so on. Overall a good piece of work.
