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Sarah Meier, Poster about a Famous Person. La famille de Meier a particip au patinage et autres sports de glace pendant de nombreuses annes.

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Introduction

Sarah Meier est n�e le 4 mai 1984. Quand Meier �tait cinq ans, elle a commenc�e � prendre cours priv�s et bient�t commenc�e � fait de comp�titions. � treize ans, elle pouvait atterrir tous les triples sauts dans la pratique. ...read more.

Middle

Sa m�re est une figure internationale juge de patinage et sa s�ur participe � le patinage synchronis�. Sa tante, Eva Fehr, une ancienne patineuse artistique, a �t� son entra�neuse. ...read more.

Conclusion

Meier a annonc�e avant les Europ�ens qu'il serait sa derni�re comp�tition. Elle devenir championne d'Europe. Elle prend sa retraite apr�s sa victoire, l'appelant "le bon moment pour arr�ter ... la fin parfaite." ...read more.

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3 star(s)

Response to the question

The writer has clearly tried to create an informative piece about Meier, although I would have expected a poster to contain images as well (these may have been hand-drawn on the original piece of coursework). They have given background information ...

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Response to the question

The writer has clearly tried to create an informative piece about Meier, although I would have expected a poster to contain images as well (these may have been hand-drawn on the original piece of coursework). They have given background information on Meier’s family and ice-skating experience, as well as describing competitions she has participated in. However, I would have also given my own opinions about Meier’s success and ability, perhaps describing how inspiring she is to the younger generation to succeed despite injuries and failures.

Level of analysis

The writer began by describing Meier’s background, giving reasons why she became so good at ice skating. The author also mentions an injury which caused Meier to consider giving up her career, before finishing by discussing Meier’s achievement at the Europeans at the end of her career. They have used good descriptions to embellish the account, such as ‘une ancienne patineuse artistique’, showing an ability to use adjectives as well as making the piece more interesting to read.

Quality of writing

The writer has attempted to use a range of grammar and vocabulary, with varying success. At the beginning, the grammar is very good, with only a few mistakes (‘etait cinq ans’ should have been ‘avait cinq ans’ as the French use the verb avoir – to have – instead of etre – to be – when discussing ages). They have demonstrated an ability to use all of the main tenses required at GCSE, as well as the present participle – ‘appelant’, and have also shown that they can use pronouns correctly, although they have forgotten to use them in some instances, such as ‘ Cela a conduit à considérer sa retraite’, where the pronoun ‘lui’ is required after the ‘Cela’. They have used good vocabulary throughout, using words such as ‘les sauts’ which shows knowledge of specialist vocabulary. However, the final paragraph, which attempts to cram in all the information about Meier’s professional life, shows many mistakes grammatically suggesting a rushed end to the coursework and a lack of proof-reading. For example, several verbs haven’t been conjugated, such as ‘elle devenir’ which should have been ‘elle est devenue’. On some occasions, they haven’t used the correct tenses, for example ‘les Européens 2011 vont être dans sa ville à Berne’, where the future tense isn’t used correctly as the writer is trying to describe Meier’s plans for an event which has now happened, rather than a future plan. The sentence would have made more sense as ‘les Européens 2011 ont été dans sa ville à Berne’. The writer has also made a few mistakes such as ‘Meier a annoncée avant les Européens qu'il serait sa dernière compétition’ when the verb should have been ‘ils seraient’ as ‘les Européens’ is plural. However, their range of vocabulary is good, and they have used a variety of tenses, showing good knowledge of most areas of French required for GCSE.


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Reviewed by dragonkeeper13 24/02/2012

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