That is just a bit of my background to why I hate god. This is really why, the day that changed my life.
God spoke to my dad and I quote said,
“ Take your son your only son, Isaac, whom you love so much, and go to the land of Moriah. There on a mountain that I will show you, offer him as a sacrifice to me.” I didn’t know any of this at the time. Just saying those words makes me angry. My father wasn’t a stupid man this wasn’t a leap of faith, he fully understood God’s wrath. I think he also had the inkling that god had promised him a line of descendents through me, if I was dead how was that to happen. Before you think it, no, I hadn’t been sneaking around with the local shepard’s daughter!
At God’s command my father was shocked but not as much as you think he should be. He put up a slight protest but as I say I don’t think he believed God would kill his only son.
So off we set to the land of Moriah bear in mind daddy dearest hadn’t told me why we were going there. I knew it was a sacrifice but we hadn’t taken a lamb with us, only coals and the wood. He then replied
“God will provide us with one” I thought nothing more of it. I admit I was slightly suspicious but never once did I think that I would be the one sacrificed.
When we arrived in Moriah on top of the mountain god had spoken about to Abraham, we started to build an altar and arranged it on some wood. While we were doing this I couldn’t help but notice dad was being strangely sentimental towards me. He kept hugging me and reminding me how much he loved me.
He told me to sit down on a rock near by. Dad kneeled down in front of me, a pained expression in his eyes. He held my hands in his, they were large and wrinkly like old leather and his palms were sweaty. I knew something was wrong.
“Before we came here son, God spoke to me.”
“Oh hear we go, I suppose he wants you to do something else for him. Haven’t you done enough you’re only an ordinary man dad; you take on too much in your old age. Can’t you say no?” I don’t know why I shouted at him like that it was just a feeling in my bones that I can’t describe. A tear came to his eye and trickled down his cheek. I brushed it away with the back of my hand; I’ve never seen my dad cry.
“I’m sorry dad I never meant to make you cry”
“It’s not that son. As I said, God spoke to me, he told me that I should sacrifice you to show my faith to god.” My father raised his hands to his face and I believe he began to weep. In any other circumstance I would have consoled my father but I just found out he was about to kill me! I was shocked to the point where I couldn’t speak and sat lifeless, so many thoughts rushing through my head, all beginning with why. I felt so useless knowing there was nothing I could do. So overwhelmed I fainted. When I woke up I was bound and gagged lying upon the altar.
“It’s best this way, you’ll go to a much better place.” What was he doing while I had passed out my father had bound and gagged me and was about to kill me. I tried to scream but it came out as a muffled, incoherent noise, there was no one around to hear it anyway so I tried to wriggle away but couldn’t move. I stared into my father’s eyes as he raised the dagger into the sky. I stared at the dagger; the sharp blade sparkled in the sunlight. The dagger plunged towards me I gritted my teeth shut my eyes and something interrupted. A beautiful voice, like nothing I’ve heard before
“Abraham, Abraham” my father looked up, it was a beautiful day only a few clouds in the sky.
“Yes, here I am”
“Don’t hurt the boy or do anything to him now I know that you honour and obey God, because you have not kept your only son from me.” Abraham breathed a heavy sigh of relief. I on the other hand was still scared I would forever know that if god wished so Dad would kill me. Dad untied me and I sat where was I was and held myself and rocked back and forth.
“Look Isaac, God has given us a ram entangled in that bush over there to sacrifice instead” I could have given a thousand replies but couldn’t bring myself to say a word I was so stunned.
“Come on now Isaac you have to understand that I knew God wouldn’t let me hurt you. He was testing my faith”
After we sacrificed the lamb we walked home. There was an uncomfortable eerie silence not a word was uttered. How was I supposed to feel knowing my father’s faith in God was stronger than his love for me?