The second stage is that of selfless love and holy fear which provide opportunities for devoted service and sacrifice the discipline needed to facilitate the feeling of yearning and enthusiasm. Even troubles provide opportunities for service and sacrifice, and are therefore helpful to love. The third stage is that of detachment: Vairag. Human love is superseded by divine love. The fourth stage is that of harmony or union. The bride and bridegroom are completely identified with each other.
After the reading of each stanza, the couple go round the Guru Granth Sahib, the bridegroom leading the bride, while the stanza is sung to the accompaniment of musical instruments. After the completion of the lavan, the Anand Sahib is read. Finally it is the Ardas after which the Karah Parshad (Holy food served after the ceremony) is distributed to all people that is present, monogamy by the Sikhs.
A Sikh marriage is valid only when it has solemnised in the presence of the Guru Granth Sahib and the couple has walked around it four times in a clockwise direction, while the four verses of the marriage hymn were being read. Sikhs are expected to marry other Sikhs. The girl’s parents visiting the man’s home and presenting him with a kirpan can mark the engagement. The ceremony is called Anand Karaj (ceremony of bliss) and it takes place before sunrise. On this day the mother and other females relations of the groom’s family send the groom and his male relatives to the gurdwara or the bride’s home. The men then meet the bride’s male relatives at the milni (meeting) and give them turbans. The bride wears a red dupatta (scarf) red or pink shalwar (long trousers) and embroided kameez (tunic) and a lot of jewellery. The ceremony can be at the gurdwara, bride’s home or in the open air.
They all sit on the floor in front of the Guru Granth Sahib. The Granthi explains the responsibilities and duties of marriage stressing its holy status and then asks them to bow before the Guru Granth Sahib to show they accept. The bride’s father puts garland of flowers round the couple’s necks and on the Guru Granth Sahib. Music and prayers begin and the Guru Granth Sahib is opened at the lavan (four marriage vows) and he puts one end of a saffron cotton scarf in the groom’s hand and passes it over the shoulder and places the other end in the bride’s hand. The Granthi reads the first verse and this repeated by the congregation while the couple rise and walk clockwise round the Guru Granth Sahib holding the scarf. The same procedure is used for three more verses, each which tells the couple where true happiness, namely in devotion to God.
The congregation shows them with flower petals as the go round the last time. Finally everyone stands up for Ardas (prayer) and Karah Parshad is the distributed to everyone. Wives do not call their husbands by their names but use a term of respect such as ‘ji’ (sir). Husbands call their wives Ardhangi (better half) as Guru Nanak Dev Ji made it clear that men and women are equal. Guru Nanak made it clear that women could play a leading role in religious services.
A few hours after the wedding as the bride departs from her parents house, she throws back grains of rice, thereby wishing prosperity for the family that she leaves behind. The bride is taken home in a palanquin (Doli).
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BIBLIOGRAPHY
Introduction to Sikhism G.S. Mansukhani
Religious Of Man
Six Religions
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QUESTION (B)
The words and actions of a Sikh marriage service guide Sikhs in the way they should live their family lives by the husband protecting his wife and honouring her and to respect her. When Sikhs get married they are told about life of love and how they should approach it. The first thing is the performance of duties to the family and the community and how they look after their family and the community and they should think about these things. They should help the community to get better and raise their children in a good manor. The second thing is selfless love and holy fear that provide opportunities for devoted service and sacrifice the discipline needed to facilitate the feeling of yearning and enthusiasm, even troubles provide opportunities for service and sacrifice, and are therefore helpful to love. It is selfless love and it is pure from and within it gives a deeper meaning and sacrifice to your beliefs and this is a way of teaching us discipline to continue in the right path. The third thing is of detachment: Vairag, human love is superseded by divine love. Detachment from stress and using inner strength to keep focused. The fourth thing is that of harmony or union, the bride and bridegroom are completely identified with each other and becoming as ONE. The couple have to walk round the Guru Granth Sahib 4 times in a clockwise direction while the Guru Granth Sahib is being read to signify the 4 marriage vows.
QUESTION (C)
“The beliefs which influence the words and actions of this service have no relevance in the world today.”
I do not agree with this quote because the words and actions of this service do have relevance in the world today.
No matter what language or religion a ceremony is held in it is teaching and saying similar things. The Sikh marriage they are told to look after their family and their community, which is right and they should do that because it is written in the Guru Granth Sahib including the other 3 stages they have to follow. Sikhs are told to believe in God to teach us discipline and how to live life and how to tackle difficult circumstances. Sikhs are also told at the marriage service to detach from stress and to keep focused which helps us to concentrate on what is important in our life. Sikhs are told to be identifies with their partner and to be as one so it can be a good and successful relationship.
On the other hand not everybody today believes in God and people can make their own vows. Some people are not religious and do not need words and actions of the marriage service. If people are not believers in any religion they should still respect each other. In today’s society we need a common purpose for actions in the marriage.
