Another vow which the couple exchange which is important and act as an important teaching in marriage is ‘for better, for worse’, in this situation the husband/ wife may become abusive and their partner wants to leave them, the Catholic Church would teach that the couple must keep going at the marriage and try their hardest, and remember the meaning of the vow ‘for better for worse’ they must forgive. The Anglican Church says that they should not stay in an abusive relationship, but they should try counselling and prayer, but if nothing changes in the relationship, divorce would be allowed. The Quaker Church says that abuse is wrong and you should not have to stay in marriage where you are being abused. They must try and find ways around it, but if nothing helps divorce is allowed.
The last vow to be said is ‘til death do us part’; this is basically teaching the couple that they must stay together through thick and thin and the only form of separation allowed is death. This is the teaching of the Catholic Church. The Anglican Church teaches the same, but not to the same extent as the Catholic Church as the Anglican Church does not view the vows in the same way. The Quaker Church does not exchange vows so there would be no restriction for there to be a divorce.
The Christian Church teaches us that there are seven specific things which help a marriage to work, the marriage should be permanent; this means that no matter what happens in the relationship, the couple will work together in order for them to sustain their love for each other; exclusive, meaning that the couple will love each other and nobody else; publicly acknowledged, this means that the marriage must take place in front of witnesses, as it is a public announcement of the couple’s love to one another; life-long, the marriage does not end until one of the couple dies-‘til death do us part’; life-giving, meaning that the couple should enter the marriage with the intention of having children; heterosexual, meaning that the marriage can only take place between a man and a woman; consummated, this means that the couple should enjoy an active physical relationship within their relationship.
In the RC church before the marriage can take place the couple must attend preparation classes, to ensure that they both understand the importance and commitment they will be making to each other.
The order of the ceremony is first of all the Greeting; then there is the reading-Liturgy of the words; then the Homily; after that there is the Rite of Marriage, being the three questions and the vows; and finally there is Liturgy of the Eucharist. On a Catholic couples wedding day, they take two sacraments, The Eucharist & the Rite of Marriage.
During the ceremony the priests asks three important questions:
- “Have you come to give yourself to each other, freely and without reservation?”
- “Will you love and honour each other for life?”
- “Will you accept children lovingly from God?”
If the couple answer I will to all of the questions, they can then go on to say their vows. That is when the sacrament is taking place, they give the sacrament to one another, and it is not given by the priest.
In a Quaker Church the ceremony is different to the RC one, they are known as the Society of Friends and they call each other friend, as they have no religious leader they sit in a circle to show that all members are equal. A Quaker marriage is different from other marriage ceremonies as it is simple. On the day of the marriage all the members of the meeting sit in a circle. When the couple are ready to begin they stand up and say their declarations (promises), which are equivalent to the RC vows but are not vows. The couple then sign a Quaker Marriage Certificate while all the other members remain in silence.
The declarations said in the Quaker marriage are not the same as the marriage vows but are taken to be just as serious and important, and they are promises not to be broken and as they are not sacramental they are not as serious as the vows exchanged in the RC church.
Catholics keep working at their marriage no matter what, they never just give up, even when things turn bad, they can go to marriage counselling instead of getting divorced so that they can put their differences aside and build on their love. For example CMAC, Catholic Marriage Advisory Council or RELATE.