Domestic violence is a complex issue, which affects the whole of society.

GCSE Religious Studies (Philosophy & Ethics)

Domestic violence is a complex issue, which affects the whole of society. Thirty years ago, there was an incredible silence across most criminal justice and social welfare agencies. Today the issue of domestic violence has become more prominent within the public arena. Public interest in the issue has grown significantly, as indicated by its increasing presence within the media and in soap operas such as east Enders. This essay attempts to offer an evaluation of the explanations of violence against women. It explains how the issue of violence, particularly within the family was brought to the public’s attention, and how women are no longer willing to accept the subordinate roles such a patriarchal society offers. This essay looks at the process of change and the innovations to change because of the activity of organisations such as women’s aid.

Domestic violence according to the women’s aid federation is defined as,

“Physical, emotional, sexual and other abuse by someone (usually, but not always a man) of a person (usually but not always a woman) with whom they have had or have some form of intimate relationship, such as marriage, in order to maintain power and control over that person. It may include threats to kill or harm the woman and/or her children or other family members.”

Domestic violence is an issue that until the 1970’s lay outside the public domain. It was regarded as a private matter that was no-one else’s business. Even the law in the 18th century agreed that it was ok for a man to beat his man with a stick so long as the stick that he used was no thicker than his thumb. During the 18th and 19th centuries, men had almost all rights over all his family members. Wives did not share equality with their husbands, and it was quite acceptable for men of this time to control their wives by force and violence. Women were seen in terms of a dichotomy of the ‘deserving’ and ‘undeserving’ in relation to domestic violence. Women whose behaviour was seen as uncontrollable because they had had an affair, did not keep a good home or got drunk were seen as deserving of the violence they suffered. Many believe that if women were caring, nurturing and sensitive to the needs of their men then violence would not occur. Dallos & McLaughlin (1994) argued that this ideology was all well and good, for the middle classes however working class women were often faced with poverty, squalor and drunkenness from their husbands, which under circumstances made it impossible to keep the good home, this often resulted in violence from the husband, blaming women for such situations. It appears that no matter what behaviour women displayed, violence did not matter because the women was to blame anyway. Even the law of this time gave no protection for women who had been attacked.

Women of this time were not equal to men nor were they suppose to be, society kept women in subordinate roles to men which endorsed men to believe that it was their right to control women by whatever means. The only way women could gain some sort of equality was to be in control and civilised within the family. As times changed society took on a new discourse Dominelli (1990) argues that feminist activity started to redefine social problems such as domestic violence form the personal problem between men and women to the social matter involving all men and women because such behaviour has been legitimised by the subordinate position women hold within society. As times changed so to have views but not enough, and society took on a new discourse where men and women were suppose to be equal but different because women were best suited to the home. All this did was disguise the fact that men and women are different but unequal in a patriarchal society. Dominelli (1990) describes an example of this

“In December 1989, a man walked into a university in Montreal and committed femmicide. Fourteen women who were engineering students were gunned down by the man, he claimed to hate feminists, because these women had dared to enter a mans world of waged work. He was making the point that womens place was not at work in the community but at home ministering the needs of men”

Dominelli, L, (1990) pg. 40

In contemporary society, views of society have changed, for both men and women. We no longer believe that men should dominate their wives or use violence as a means of control. However, though views have changed, many men still believe that they are superior to women because of the patriarchal view that still prevails within society today. Some men still believe that they can control women by means of violence. Dallos &McLaughlin (1994) argue that the privacy that surrounds domestic violence may do so to cover up the abuse that exits within a family and unfortunately, this is a culturally shared belief still. Women in today’s society still do not have the same power as men have and even if they did, in regards to domestic violence physical differences in terms of size and strength would give women a disadvantage. This is not to say that women don’t fight back because the majority do, it is just if you put a man and women in a boxing ring the man will almost always win, it is the biological differences that women don’t have that give men this advantage.

Definitions of domestic violence have changed over the years and what one person would regard as being domestic violence another would not. Domestic violence may include a wide range of abusive behaviours not all of which are of a violent nature. Women’s aid argues that violence can mean many things some being threats, intimidation, manipulation, isolation, being kept without money, locked up and deprived of food or using children as a threat in order to gain compliance, it can also include systematic criticism and belittling comments. Domestic violence destroys many areas of a victim’s life including the freedom to live their life without fear. It is controlling behaviour that wrecks thousands of lives every year. So, is enough really being done to end the cycle of abuse? Groups such as women’s aid believe not. Although progress has been made, it is still not enough. Before the 60’s and 70’s, there was very little help for women who had been abused. Now because of feminist activity such as women’s aid, help exists throughout the world in the form of self- help groups, telephone care lines, refuges etc. the emergence of this activity came about quite by accident. It started with a group of 500 women and children and a cow protesting about the end of free school milk, although the protest was not a direct success it did bring solidarity among women. This spurred women to meet on a regular basis within local communities. It was at some meetings that women began to talk to one another about the brutality many suffered at the hands of their partners. It was because of this that the first woman’s refuge was opened in Chiswick and where violence against women became publicly defined as a problem, where inspiration for change started to become the publics concern instead of leaving it within the private sphere of the home. Dobash & Dobash (1992)

We can never be certain what causes some men to be violent and others not. Dobash and Dobash (1992) argue that domestic violence seems to be rooted in a mans obsession to obtain control over women, using force if necessary. Women do not choose a violent partner or violence. Quite often violence does not begin until the relationship is well established, often the first pregnancy. The governments report on an enquiry into maternal deaths showed that 30% of domestic violence cases occurred when the woman was pregnant the report believed that this was because women were at their most vulnerable ...

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According to women’s aid, the case for what causes domestic violence is only diverting attention away from the extent of the problem. There are many myths about the causes such as alcohol; drugs, unemployment and stress, but these are not real reasons. Women’s aid argues that the real cause of domestic violence is none of the above but in reality, it is psychological and social factors between two partners, which create an imbalance of power within the relationship. It is when this power is abused together with societies tolerance that domestic violence is allowed to flourish.

Dobash &Dobash (1992) argue that there are four main sources leading to violence, these are men’s possessiveness and jealousy, men’s sense of right to punish their wives for wrongdoing and the importance of men maintaining their position of authority. There are many cases where because of the above, violence in extreme forms occur, Dobash &Dobash highlight a small sample,

“I realised I was under terrible strain…I’d go in to a blind panic about what side the spoon had to be on. It was that sort of detail every day”

“There was too much grease on his breakfast plate, and he threw his plate at me”

“I had a poker thrown at me – just because his tea was too weak – he just takes it for granted, if your married you will have to accept it, its part of being a wife”

Dobash & Dobash, (1992), pg.4

This is just an example of the types of abuse some women suffer because of the nature of relations between men and women, - the demands and expectations placed on wives, the prerogatives of husbands and cultural beliefs that support individual attitudes of marital inequality. There are also many myths that assume domestic violence only occurs within the working classes, particularly where poverty exists. Although there is evidence that ‘more’ violence occurs within working classes, it is by no means restricted there. Middle class affluent families also have problems with domestic violence. The case of Hedda Nussbaum, an editor of famous children’s books, came to light after her and her partner, Joel Steinberg, a lawyer, were arrested for the murder of their six year old illegally adopted daughter Lisa Steinberg. Both Nussbaum and Steinberg were charged with Lisa’s murder in 1987. However, when the trial began a year later the charges against Nussbaum were dropped because of the appalling state of her body on arrest. After she was arrested and charged, it soon became clear that Nussbaum was a victim of domestic violence, officers found Nussbaum to have,

“Lumps of hair missing, and clusters of small scabs where hair had once been that looked like cigarette burns, deep ulcers on gangrenous legs. A bruise on the buttocks the size of a football. Bruises on her back. A pulverised nose. Jaw broken in two places, 9 broken ribs, a cauliflower ear, a split lip, a ruptured spleen, a broken knee, a bruised neck, black eyes and minor brain damage”.

Dobash & Dobash, (1992), pg. 5

The case was followed by society nationwide in America not because of the severe injury Nussbaum and Lisa received but because this was a case of domestic violence within an affluent family. This was evidence that domestic violence was not restricted to the lower classes and that something needed to be done on a national scale. Before this case came to light many believed that domestic violence was mainly concerned with the lower classes based on the number of women from working classes seeking a place of safety in a woman’s refuge. Although this was true, it must be remembered that women from the middle classes may have a choice of a place to stay or have an income that can help them escape the violence they are suffering. Dallos & McLaughlin (1992)

Why some men use violence and some do not has never been clear. South end women’s aid conducted a piece of research, about the beliefs abusers have for the violence they use, this is outlined below with the abusers reason why domestic violence occurred and the response of women’s aid

Abuser – “violence is a response to anger”

Abuser – “I lost control and hit her”

Anger is a normal human emotion. Violence is learned behaviour. Men describe feelings of being out of control but if they were truly that out of control then surely the damage would be more serious. Accident and emergency records show that victims of repeated violence often have injuries where marks can be covered by clothing indicating that the abuser knows exactly where he is hitting his victim and being totally in control of his violence

Abuser – “women ask for it”

Abuser – “if women didn’t like it they wouldn’t stay”

Many women do leave and go on to enjoy a life free from abuse. However, some find it impossible to escape the violence because their abuser threatens to find them. This can be the worst time for the victim as the escalation of violence often increases when a partner leaves. 75% of murders and serious assault occur at this time. Men will do any thing to keep a victim economically and emotionally dependant upon them even keeping them isolated from society to prevent the victim from leaving.

Abuser – “she pushes my buttons, she knows what pisses me off”

Abuser – “if she would just respect my wishes I wouldn’t get upset”

Women get their buttons pressed, get pissed off and their wishes not respected. However, they do not show this in forms of violence. Almost all attacks by women on men are self-defence during an assault.

Abuser – “men are naturally more violent”

Abuser – “men don’t know their own strength”

Blaming genes or hormones is just an easy way of not accepting responsibility for violent behaviour. The idea that men are naturally more violent because they have to protect the family is pre historic rubbish. How can domestic violence be protecting the family?

This is just a sample of the excuses male abusers use to excuse their violent behaviour others include, alcohol and drugs, stress at work or unemployment make me more violent. Many women may find that substance abuse is just a way of controlling her by telling her that it is her fault that he has a drink/drug problem and stress at work is also a load of rubbish would they hit their boss if they were feeling under pressure? No, because they would get the sack and prosecuted so why is it ok for a man to think he can take his work frustrations out on his partner.

“The violence and abuse men perpetrate against women and girls is rooted in a tradition of male supremacy that teaches boys and men that females are worthless; are less deserving and may be treated poorly or worse”

Bart & Moran (1999) pg. 79

This ideology is still apparent to men even in today’s society. It is still clear that we live in a patriarchal world dominated by men even though as Pascall (1997) argues women have collectively fought to win important milestones throughout history. Such as the vote equal pay act and sex discrimination acts. It is still apparent that women are not as equal as men, may because of the shift towards capitalism that is enhancing the inequalities between men and women.

However through the 60’s and 70’s, as feminism started to develop so did the significance of domestic violence. With this came the emergence of women’s refuges, a safe place for women fleeing domestic violence to stay. In Britain today there are over 250 locally based women’s aid and independent refuge projects, providing over 400 specialists support and advocacy projects for abused women and children. In England, alone 54’500 women and children stay in refuges each year and over 145’000 women contact them for help and support.

For some women going to a refuge is a daunting experience. Dallos & McLaughlin (1994) argue this could be because within the abusive relationship they have been controlled and manipulated so much that the confidence of such women is completely shattered. A refuge is a safe place where women and children can live free of violence. It offers a temporary breathing space where decisions can be made free from pressure or fear. Most refuges offer practical support such as helping with social security claims, housing and police issues. Refuges are only a temporary solution and many women are turned away each year because there is not enough room because of a shortage of funding from the government. However, on the 11th December 2002, a new 24-hour free phone line was launched costing £1 million, which is funded by the government and comic relief. The national help line, which is backed, by Tony Blair and Davina McCall will start operating next autumn. It will offer support, information and translation services. The main aim is to reduce levels of homelessness caused by family breakdowns because of domestic violence. The government has also pledged that an extra £7 million will be given to fund the building of new refuges. At least we can now see the government bringing the problem into the public arena instead of ignoring it and hoping it will go away.

Women who are suffering domestic violence are often unaware of the services available to help them. Some of these include; the refuge 24 hour national crisis line, which provides information and support 24 hours a day 7 days a week, to women experiencing domestic violence. It can also refer women and children to refuges throughout the UK. Victim support also offers support and information to victims of crime contrary to belief the crime does not have to be reported to the police. It is a free and confidential service. The Samaritans and national society for prevention of cruelty to children (NSPCC) both offer confidential advice and a counselling service for anyone in crisis or concerned about children at risk. The G.P or health visitor can also help, but you need to be honest with them by telling them the real cause of your worries and injuries this is important if you are to get proper medical help. People do not realise how direct an impact their partner’s behaviour can have on that of their health or children. They may experience depression and anxiety, which can be just as damaging as physical injuries, both during the relationship and after the relationship, has finished. The police are another area in which to contact. Most kinds of domestic violence are criminal offences, and the police take all cases of domestic violence seriously. This may sound strange to most of us whom have never experienced domestic violence, but for most women the police are the first port of call if you have been criminally injured i.e. domestic violence. However women who have lived in an abusive relationship have such a low self-esteem are programmed to think that the police and such agencies will not believe them. Many women who have lived with repeated abuse start to loose the idea of what is real and what is not and also start to believe what there abuser is saying, their confidence is really eroded. The police however now have specially trained officers who will listen and speak to you separately from your partner. The police first priority is the safety of the abused woman and her children. (The role of the police will be discussed in more depth later in the essay).

Although the seriousness of women affected by domestic violence can never be ignored, until recent years children were often the forgotten victims of domestic violence cases. Few would disagree that witnessing the beating of your mother is a disturbing experience. Hanmer and Itzin (2000) argue that a Childs experience of domestic violence needs to be taken fully into account. Jaffe et al (1990) found a number of difficulties among children who witness domestic violence. Some of these include increased levels of anxiety, psycho – somatic illnesses including headaches, abdominal complaints, asthma, stuttering, enuresis, sadness, withdrawal and fear, lower ratings in social competence particularly for boys and a reduction in understanding social situations including thoughts and feelings.

Children also sometimes feel guilty if they do not come to the aid of their mother. This feeling of guilt is often accompanied by self-blame and feelings that they have somehow caused their father to be violent. Hoff (1995). In a study at a local women’s aid, cited in Hanmer and Itzin (2000), a 19 year old girl discussed how powerless it made her feel to hear the violence of her parents and not be able to do anything about it to protect her mother,

“We use to be up in bed and we use to hear them arguing all the time, fighting and we could hear her crying. It was really horrible… I tried to block it out, like I put the cover over my head but even then I kept hearing it. There was nothing I could do about it”

Hanmer & Itzin (2000) pg. 80

Children who have witnessed domestic violence often talk about their experiences. Hanmer & Itzin (2000) argued that contrary to belief, children felt that they needed to be present in the room when an assault is taking place, this is to ensure that their mother was not being killed. Many children reported that hearing an assault take place and not being able to see what was happening was more terrifying than actually seeing the assault take place. To help support children who have witnessed domestic violence, rights for children’s campaigns have provoked refuges to supply an arena where children can express themselves in a safe and supported environment.

However, the children’s act of 1989 in some aspect was a positive piece of legislation such as the improvements made to social services. Hanmer & Itzin (2000) argued that the act failed to look at issues surrounding domestic violence particularly when women and children decided to leave an abusive relationship this is because the government is to keen on promoting the idea of the nuclear family consisting of a mother, father and children. This can make it very difficult for women and children as the act assumes that when a separation occurs the children will benefit from having contact with the absent parent. However in many cases the women will be reluctant to have contact with her ex because of very real fears for her and her children’s safety believing they will be at risk. These very real fears are often ignored by court officials who believe they are working in the best interest of the children, because the children’s act says so. If the ordeal of the domestic violence is not bad, enough being forced by child welfare officers to agree to contact with an abusive partner can be just as harrowing. I know from personal experience that the system does not take into account any of the reasons of why a relationship ends whether it is because of violence or not. I was lucky in the kind of way that I don’t like to be reminded about for my abusive ex husband actually attacked me at the court, just after the welfare officers had allowed my ex to have supervised contact with our child. After the display was over the welfare court officers went back into court and retracted that contact order and in place prevented direct contact but allowed indirect contact in the form of letters, cards, presents etc (this never occurred). What makes me more angry about the system is they ignored all my fears until they had seen first hand what my ex husband was capable of. Legislation needs to be changed particularly in cases where domestic violence has occurred; women need to be listened to across the board.

These patriarchal views are also inherent within the child support act too. For the state believes that women whom have separated from their partners should claim maintenance from the absent parent. This again can be very distressing. Women whom are on state benefits are forced to name the absent father so that child maintenance can be collected by the child support agency. In most cases, no financial arrangements are ever made and lone parents reliant on state benefits engage once again of the panic of fear that there ex will come after them for naming them to CSA. Because of such situations, the child support act now allows women to withhold the name of the absent parent if this will cause undue harm or distress to the woman or her children. The child support act is just another way of forcing women to rely on men instead of the state. Hanmer & Itzin (2000)

For the police domestic violence is one of the most distressing problems. According to Hanmer & Itzin (2000), growing public concern about the incidence of domestic violence within the home along with the need for proper protection for victims of physical attacks resulted in the formulation of policy known as 60/90 circular. The policy was intended to enhance the service provided to victims of domestic violence and the need to establish dedicated domestic violence units in all divisions and to give an improved level of victim care. The policy enhanced officer’s knowledge that the primary role of the attending police officer was to protect the victim and any children this could include referring or taking her to a refuge as well as liaison with statutory, and voluntary agencies for long term support. The report also details how officer should respond to an incident by checking previous records at the scene, the need for having women officers present, the need for separate interviews so that information about prosecution and the willingness to give evidence is not given in front of the abuser. If an abuser is arrested and charged the case is then forwarded to the crown prosecution service who will consider whether to proceed with the case or not. There are however many difficulties when deciding to proceed with a case. Women may be reluctant to give evidence against someone whom they love/ed or share/ed a home with or who may be the father of her children. Women are also often at risk of further violence while waiting for a case to go to court. The ordeal of giving evidence is also harrowing and often the outcome of going to court when assaults are prosecuted often end up with the assailant being fined or given a suspended sentence not much considering what the abused woman and may be her children have been through. There is also the fact that many women who do give evidence at first often later retract their statements because of fear of reprisals from the abuser or no matter how distressing it may sound many reconcile probably because of the pressure placed on her to do so from the abuser.

Vincent & Jouriles (2000)

Domestic violence can happen to anyone. It can happen in all kinds of relationships regardless of age, ethnicity, social class background, religion etc. it is rarely a one off event in fact it tends to get worse and more severe over time. Domestic violence is more common than people think, but there are ranges of organisations that can help and offer advice. We should however recognise that although domestic violence is more common when the violence is experienced by a women and a man the perpetrator, violence can also occur for men, children, and the elderly and within gay and lesbian relationships. The confusion over what causes domestic violence only tries to shift the attention from the severity of the problem. Although the attitudes of agencies such as the police have dramatically changed over the years, there are still cases where abusers escape prosecution. Every time the police fail to prosecute or the case is dropped by the crown prosecution service or every time we turn a blind eye to our neighbours cries for help or bruises we make it easier fro the abuser to get away with it. Although the government has started to make an effort to tackle issues of domestic violence, this has been patchy and piecemeal. The key element to achieving a consistent approach is funding. Domestic violence has been under funded for to long relying heavily upon the voluntary sector to provide vital life saving services such as refuges.

Domestic violence is a complex issue, which affects the whole of society.

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