In the following essay, you will read about Islam marriage and family life, including the role of the husband and wife, and the role of the mother and father.

GCSE Religious Studies (Philosophy & Ethics)

In this section of my coursework, I will include details of the preparations leading to marriage and the rituals involved in an arranged marriage. In the following essay, you will read about Islam marriage and family life, including the role of the husband and wife, and the role of the mother and father.

Marriage in Islam is one of mutual respect, love and compassion. The husband is there as a friend and partner to share the wife's concerns, he is to cherish and protect her while a man has in his wife a companion and helper who can give him peace and comfort. They both will help each other through life's problems and struggles.

All Muslims are expected to marry because the Prophet Muhammad was married and Muslims regard Muhammad as the perfect example of how to live.

‘Whoever gets married has completed half of his faith’. (Hadith)

The Islamic banning of social contact between Muslims after puberty means that most couples meet through introductions from their parents (arranged marriages). It is felt that these are more likely to work out because the parents choose carefully to make sure the couples are compatible. However, Muslim magazines and newspapers have personal columns where young Muslims advertise for partners. Muslims tend to be married young because this is the best way to prevent sex before marriage.

All Muslims agree that marriage is a contract which is ideally for life, but there are some differences among Muslims.

The religious nature of marriage is shown by the fact that Muslim women may only marry Muslim men and Muslims men may only marry Muslim, Jewish or Christian women (as these worship Allah and it is hoped that Jews and Christians will adopt the faith of their husband).

‘Those who show the most perfect faith are those who possess the best disposition and are kindest to their families.’ (Hadith)

Islam teaches that children should be brought up in a family with a mother and a father. The main purpose of marriage in Islam is to have children and bring them up in a good Muslim family. Children are a gift from God and Muslims will be judged by God, at the end of the world, on how they have brought up their children. Islam sees the family as the basis of society and believes that without the family, society would collapse. The family is also important in Islam because it is the place where children learn about right and wrong and how to live a good life, therefore without the family, there would be much more evil in the world. The family is also the place where children are introduced to Islam through their teaching at home, through parents sending them to the madrasah, through their observing of Ramadan, Salah, the Ids, and through living a Muslim life. This means that the family is essential for the faith of Islam to continue and grow.

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In a marriage, both the husband and wife are to be mindful of their duty to God and their responsibilities to one another in all aspects of their interaction. Many Muslims believe that men and women have different roles. The role of women is to have children and create a halal (good Muslim) home, bringing up the children as good Muslims. Women should worship God and fulfill all the pillars except the Hajj in their homes. Men should provide for the family by working. They should also make sure that their children are brought up as good Muslims. No marriage works well without a clear leader, and therefore there should be one in every family. Most Muslim women are quite happy for this leader to be the man they love. If the man is not worth respecting, divorce is a straightforward matter, which will mean that the women may look for a better man.

Sometimes the woman in a household is more intelligent or organised or practical than the man, so he will quite sensibly leave most matters to her but in Islam he is still responsible for her.

A Muslim mother is expected to take responsibilities for food for the hungry, refuge for the weary, hospitality for the guests, comfort for the distressed, peace for the troubled, hope for the insecure, and encouragement for the weak. A Muslim father is expected to provide the mains whereby all this can actually be achieved to protect the home and to make the mother's role possible. The father is responsible for bringing in the money and therefore it is his duty as far as possible to be strong, respected, and honourable. Just as the mother's role involves for more cooking than cooking and cleaning, the father's involves leadership, responsibility and duty. Bringing up children is not an easy task. In particular the Muslim woman's role as a mother is regarded as being of the highest importance, the most serious and challenging responsibility she could have.

‘A man must provide for the financial needs of his new family. Men are seen as the 'protectors and maintainers' of women.’ (Surah 4:34)

A man may marry up to four wives, provided he can treat them equally. He must treat his wife and children fairly and must not be involved in adultery outside marriage. A woman's duties towards her husband are, to protect her husband property in his absence, be faithful to him, and must dress modestly and cover herself when in presence of people outside the family or when she goes out of the home. She must also make sure that the home is well managed and the children are brought up well even if she works. She must obey her husband as long as he does not ask her to break the laws of Allah.

In this section of my coursework, I will include details of the preparations leading to marriage and the rituals involved in an arranged marriage. I will also cover the area of mixed marriage and what is or is not acceptable; an account of the ceremony or marriage and the festivities which are a part of this and the role of the bride and groom. Where possible, I will use quotations and references to wider research to demonstrate my understanding of these aspects of Muslim marriage.

Marriage is a social contract which brings rights and obligations to both husband and wife. Islam supports the basic equality of the sexes, but it does not prevent husband and wife from adopting different roles, which should be complementary. They are urged to choose their partners very carefully, and to remain faithful to them for the rest of their lives.

Muslim marriages are often arranged for young couples by their parents. In the west, most young people think it is natural to fall in love, get engaged, and then married. Muslims sometimes regard 'being under the influence of love' as a dangerous and intoxicating state of mind. Parents will always seek to find good, compatible partners for their children, and they may not approve of an unwise romance. However, marriages should always be with the consent of both parents', and they have the right to disagree with the parents' choice. A forced marriage is forbidden in Islam, and usually doomed to failure.

A Muslim marriage usually takes place in the home or the mosque. The couple gives their consent before a maximum of two witnesses. During the ceremony, there are readings from the Qur'an:

'O mankind! Reverence your Guardian-Lord, who created you make from a single person, created, of like nature, his mate, and from them twain scattered countless men and women- reverence Allah, through whom ye demand your mutual, and the wombs: for Allah ever watches over you.'

The actual ceremony is a simple affair, consisting of readings from the Qur'an, the exchange of vows in front of witnesses, and prayers. No special religious official is required, but often the imam is present for the happy occasion. The imam and the guests will pray for the couple and wish for such things as material blessings, long life and many children. The bride does not need to attend the ceremony, as longs as she sends her marriage representative (wali) and two witnesses of her agreement.

The signing of the wedding (Nikah) contract may predate the couple living together or having sexual intimacy. The Nikah is not considered to be a sacred contract, or 'made in heaven', but is a binding 'business' contract, giving both husband and wife rights and responsibilities.

Special clothes are not necessary for Nikah, but the bride would certainly dress up for the Walimah or party to follow. This usually consists of a meal, and takes place within three days of the couple living together. Presents are given, usually money. Huge luxurious parties are the traditions in some societies but have nothing to do with Islam.

The Mahr is the dowry paid by the husband to the wife. This does not have to be a large sum but it is carefully negotiated for it is the wife's right to keep it incase of a divorce in the future. If the wife later seeks to divorce her husband against his will, she may do so only if the Mahr is returned.

It is against the Sunnah of the prophet to order high dowries, or not to give a dowry at all, or to pay it to the bride's father as compensation for the loss of his daughter's services in his household, although these may be practiced by uneducated Muslims.

Muslim boys may marry Christians and Jews, but Muslim girls are not permitted to marry non-Muslims because in Islam the children have to take the religion of the father, and so would become a non-Muslim. If a youth wishes to marry a Hindu, a Sikh or a Buddhist girl, it is only permitted is she converts to Islam.

The most important ingredients in a Muslim marriage are shared values and beliefs, so that even if the couple comes from different cultures and backgrounds, they possess the same basic habits which will bind them together.

In the following essay, I will explain the Muslim views on marriage in modern society, including the attitudes towards arranged marriages amongst young Muslims, as well as conflicts involved in inter-faith marriages in a multi-faith society such as Britain. Here young Muslims are likely to have greater freedom to mix with a variety of cultures.

In the Muslim world, because chastity and modesty are emphasized so strongly, there is little contact between young men and women. The selection of a marriage partner is often organized by the parents. Sometimes they will look for a known member of the family, preferably a cousin. For many couples, love comes after the marriage and not before.

There are several passages and verses in The Holy Qur’an regarding marriage and family that encourage Muslims to be married, if possible. The Prophet Muhammad has even said that when a Muslim marries, he has fulfilled half of the religious devotion and duties and then he should take care of the other half by being God-minded and aware of his obligations.

Marriage is considered a religious duty in Islam and is enjoyed by all believers who can afford it. It provides a moral safeguard and legal means to develop relationship with the opposite sex and to extend the family. It is not only a contract between two people committing themselves to each other, but it is also a contract to which God is made the first Witness.

Wherever Muslims live, they must obey the laws of that country on marriage and divorce. Many Muslims live in countries where family law is based on the Shari'ah; but others find themselves subject to non Islamic laws, especially those Muslims living in the West. In Britain, as Polygamy is illegal, a Muslim cannot re-marry once he has a wife.

Islam considers the husband head-of-the-family and therefore requires that a Muslim woman cannot marry a non-Muslim because she will be under the authority of a non-Muslim husband. He may prevent her from carrying out her religious obligations by either pressuring her or physically abusing her. But it is not the sole reason for imposing the restriction. The situation is considered very damaging for the woman to practice Islam afterwards and even worse for the kids in such marriages. There are no conditions mentioned under which a Muslim woman is allowed to get married or remain married to a non-Muslim husband after she has accepted Islam. Therefore, even if she has freedom to practice Islam after marriage, she is not allowed to enter into an inter-faith marriage. However marriages between Muslim men and non-Muslim women are allowed.

'Do not marry only for a person's looks; their beauty might become the cause of moral decline. Do not marry for wealth, since this may become the cause of disobedience. Marry rather on the grounds of religious devotion.' (Hadith)

I think that the above quotation is very important, not only for Muslim’s but for people from other religions. Money and looks are not everything - much more then that is needed in order to start a new life together with your partner and family.

Overall, I feel that a Muslim person’s life is extremely different in an Islamic country compared to a western country, such as Britain, as they tend to mix more with people from different religions. In modern society, Muslim boys and girls tend to know each other before marriage, as they would have met through school or in a different way. However, they still obey what they have been taught about marriage and have kept their parents proud, so that they can say that they are true Muslims.