Marriage and Death Marriage Kiddushin The process of marriage occurs in two distinct stages

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Marriage and Death

Marriage

Kiddushin

  • The process of marriage occurs in two distinct stages: kiddushin (commonly translated as betrothal) and nisuin (full-fledged marriage).
  • Kiddushin occurs when the woman accepts the money, contract or sexual relations offered by the prospective husband.
  • The ritual of kiddushin sets aside the woman to be the wife of a particular man and no other.
  • Once kiddushin is complete, the woman is legally the wife of the man. The relationship created by kiddushin can only be dissolved by death or divorce. However, the spouses do not live together at the time of the kiddushin, and the mutual obligations created by the marital relationship do not take effect until the nisuin is complete.
  • The nisuin (from a word meaning "elevation") completes the process of marriage. The husband brings the wife into his home and they begin their married life together.
  • In the past, the kiddushin and nisuin would routinely occur as much as a year apart. Today, the two ceremonies are normally performed together.

Ceremony

  • It is customary for the bride and groom not to see each other for a week preceding the wedding.
  • Traditionally, the day before the wedding, both the bride and the groom fast.
  • Before the ceremony, the bride is veiled, in remembrance of the fact that Rebecca veiled her face when she was first brought to Isaac to be his wife.
  • The ceremony itself lasts 20-30 minutes, and consists of the kiddushin and the nisuin.
  • For the kiddushin, the bride approaches and circles the groom. Two blessings are recited over wine: one the standard blessing over wine and the other regarding the commandments related to marriage. The man then places the ring on woman's finger and says "Be sanctified (mekudeshet) to me with this ring in accordance with the law of Moses and Israel."
  • After the kiddushin is complete, the ketubah is read aloud.
  • The nisuin then proceeds. The bride and groom stand beneath the chuppah, a canopy held up by four poles, symbolic of their dwelling together and of the husband's bringing the wife into his home and showing that their home is private but open to God and those like family and friends.
  • The bride and groom recite seven blessings (sheva brakhos) in the presence of a minyan, one of which is the standard blessing over wine, and then drink the wine.
  • The groom smashes a glass wrapped in a cloth with his right foot, to symbolize the destruction of the Temple, and that there is always tragedy in the world even though they are at a happy occasion.
  • The couple then retires briefly to a completely private room, symbolic of the groom bringing the wife into his home.
  • This is followed by a festive meal, which is followed by a repetition of the sheva brakhos. Exuberant music and dancing traditionally accompany the ceremony and the reception.
  • Throwing candy at the bride and groom to symbolize the sweetness of the event is common
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Divorce

  • According to the Torah, divorce is accomplished simply by writing a bill of divorce, handing it to the wife, and sending her away. To prevent husbands from divorcing their wives recklessly or without proper consideration, the rabbis created complex rules regarding the process of writing the document, delivery, and acceptance.
  • This is commonly referred to as a get, which states that the woman is free to marry another man
  • It is important to note that a civil divorce is not sufficient to dissolve a Jewish marriage. As far as Jewish law is concerned, ...

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