I take you to be my husband / wife,
To have and to hold
From this day forward,
For better, for worse,
For richer, for poorer,
In sickness and in health,
To love and to cherish
Till death us do part,
According to God’s Holy law.
And to this I pledge myself.
This vow shows how you should look after your partner whatever the circumstances, i.e. if he/she is ill. Both partners make this promise so it is a shared responsibility. After this promise has been said, the ring is placed on the third finger of the woman’s hand and the man and the women both say separately:
With this ring I thee wed;
With my body I thee honour and all my worldly goods with
Thee I share
In the name of the Father, the son and the Holy Spirit.
This vow gives the idea of a deep form of sharing between the couple and how all their possessions are now shared. The prayer of the faithful follows which may also include personal prayer by the couple. The mass concludes with the Lord’s prayer and a Blessing. There may also be a candlelight blessing. In the Catholic tradition the candle flame is a symbol of Christ, the light of the World.
The preparations before a marriage are very important because marriage is a major, life long commitment. A marriage is prepared very carefully by the Church. They even run marriage courses, which are used in many cases. The couple is taught about the Christian teachings on marriage and the Church leaders counsel and pray with the couples. The Church is just setting the couple off in the right direction.
In the Church of England the marriage ceremony is as follows; Firstly the vicar explains the Churches view on marriage. These view are that marriage is a gift from God which has been blessed by God and that it is a symbol of Christ’s relationship with the Church. He also explains how marriage needs deep consideration and seriousness and needs to be treated with respect..
The marriage consists of four parts. It is asked if there is any reason why the marriage should not take place. Then the Bride and Bridegroom are asked if they wish to be wedded to each other, and they reply, “ I will.” The vows and ring are exchanged. The promises are to love, comfort, and honour and to be loyal. A declaration from the vicar or minister is said and the couple are married and the register is signed.
A close relative or Father of the Bride is with the Bride at the altar steps until he has completed the role of giving his daughter’s hand in marriage to the Bridegroom. The ring(s), which are blessed by the minister, are handed over by the best man who could be a friend or relative of the bridegroom. The bride, the groom and two witnesses who could be the best man and chief bridesmaid, in the vestry, sign the marriage register. The difference between a marriage in a Catholic Church and in a Church of England is that in the Catholic wedding one of the vows is to ‘Love and obey’, whereas in the Church of England wedding it is only used if the Bride requests it. This is because in the Catholic Church believe that obedience is more important than the Church of England believe it to be.
The Roman Catholic Church does not believe in divorce because it takes the Bible literally when it says once a Christian marriage has taken place then the two have become ‘one flesh’. They believe that marriage should only be ended by death and that divorce should not be aloud. The Catholic Church teaches that marriage is a sacrament and no human has the right to undo something made by God. The only time the Roman Catholic Church accepts impediments is when, in the eyes of the Church, the wedding never really took place and was not a real marriage, even though the couple went through a wedding service together. For example:
- There may have been a misunderstanding between partners about the vows they had made at the wedding. They may also have been pushed into making the vows by a relative.
- Within the vows one of the partners may have lied. He or she may have lied about intending to have children.
- The couple may never have consummated the marriage (had sexual intercourse together). This means the marriage was not made official according to the vows.
In all these cases or any other impediments that may have prevented a real marriage taking place the Church will declare an annulment. This declares that there was no real marriage from the very beginning. If a couple marriage has been annulled then they are free to marry again in the Church even while their previous partner is still alive. The same rules apply to widows or widowers, so they are free to marry whatever the state of their previous marriage.
The Church of Scotland has a different view towards divorce. It allows people to be divorced and then allows them to be remarried if the minister is convinced that he or she has a sincere commitment to the new relationship. It is seen as a sign of God’s forgiveness and willingness to give people a new start. Other Churches see marriage as a contract or covenant, which should not be broken but can be and they believe provision should be made for such cases. They use the idea that Jesus said divorce was allowed, but only because of the hardness of people’s hearts and the fact that some marriages were bound to fail or break down.
The way that some Christians deal with marital breakdown is that they are deeply involved in marriage guidance counselling. They talk with couples whose relationships have problems and discuss ways to settle or resolve them. A large amount of a Priests time is spent dealing with marriage problems.
The Church of England now believes that if a person wants a divorce then he or she will be able to get re-married in the Church.
Couples approach marriage and marital breakdown differently, they normally conform to the ideas of the Church that they are with. This often means that they approach it differently because most Churches have different views on marriage. For instance, a Catholic would not be able to get a divorce and then re-marry in the Catholic Church, whereas a member of the Church of England would have the option to divorce and re-marry because the Church of England have a different view on divorce than Catholics.
Another reason is the way that each Church interprets the Bible. The Roman Catholics take the Bible literally and that would influence their views on topics such as marriage and divorce. The Church of England does not take such a literallist view of the Bible, it believes that room should be made for the modern world in which we live and exceptions should be made for the society in which we live.
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2).
Some people may agree with this statement. They might argue that if you keep sex for marriage then it becomes part of a religious contract. They might also argue that keeping sex within marriage makes it an exclusive relationship. Another reason that they may give is that, according to the Bible, sex outside marriage is not permitted (this is known as adultery). The seventh Commandment is ‘Do not commit adultery’. They may also strongly believe that keeping sex within marriage balances the joy of sex with the commitment and responsibility to the other person. Another belief is that if you keep sex within a marriage then it becomes dependant on a commitment to spend the rest of your life with someone, whereas sex outside marriage is not very reliable and you may not see the person again.
They may also argue that if there is a child involved then it needs a proper parent not just someone who may just stand up and leave. This could end up with the child either being aborted or just abandoned. Whereas if the child is brought up in a legally bound relationship then there are certain responsibilities towards the child.
Other people may disagree with this statement. They might argue that some people may not ever get married but may still want children. Also if a couple have been together for a long time then they may be very responsible and be very committed to each other. They may also argue that the main reason for keeping sex within marriage in the past was that there were no sure methods of contraception available which meant the parents could reject the baby, but now it is possible to have sex without a pregnancy. They might also argue that sex and love are an important part of a non-marital relationship just as much as a marital one.
My opinion is as follows. I agree with this statement because for a Roman Catholic, keeping sex within a marriage makes it part of a spiritual and religious contract. I also think that chastity is the best way to ensure a trusting relationship. Also, adultery goes against one of the Ten Commandments. I also think that keeping sex within marriage ensures an everlasting commitment to someone, which will ensure there are no affairs within a marriage. It also gives sex a special status.
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