R.E Coursework - Sikh Marriage

Introduction

Expect among some westernised subgroups in the larger Indian cities social mixing between the sexes is restricted, even in co-educational schools. Also, the joint or extended family system is still the Indian norm. It is in this context, which can only be referred to in passing in this piece of coursework, that Sikh marriage must be understood. Marriage, traditionally, is not a private matter between two persons. Through the couple two families become closely connected and into one family comes a stranger, the wife. She has therefore to be compatible not only with her husband but with his parents, brothers, their wives and his unmarried sisters. Ideally the marriage is based upon love, the love of both families for their offspring.

Social status and monetary advantage, if they play a part, should be subordinate considerations. Assisted marriage rather than arranged marriage is the phrase Sikhs would prefer to describe the procedure of choosing a husband or wife. The decision to marry is itself a joint one, though custom also plays its part. Among some groups there may be a tradition of marriage at fourteen or fifteen. Child marriage in the traditional Indian sense has always been repudiated by Sikhs and a 14-year-old in India can be shouldering considerable adult responsibilities. The legal limit in India now is eighteen for women and twenty-one for men, and Sikhs accept the law of the country in which they live.

The decision to seek marriage may be influenced by a number of considerations. Normally the older daughter should marry before her sisters. If the young person is undergoing higher education marriage will be deferred till after graduation. An older brother whose father has died waits until his younger brothers and sisters have received an education or training and the girls have been married. The emphasis upon family life as that which God has ordained is such that few Sikhs wish to remain single. The family assists in finding a partner. Suitability should have as its criteria virtuous qualities, temperament and age. Then, if they have any place, societal status and economic position. A final factor will be caste consideration. A Jat is likely to marry a Jat, an Arora an Arora, a Ramgarhia a Ramgarhia, but there are many exceptions. It is most important that a Sikh marries a Sikh. The true life of discipleship to the teaching of the Gurus can most completely be carried out in the householder (grihasthi) state and it is important that it is expressed in a united family. Mixed marriages are not successful in normal experience, whether the tensions be caused by conflict between town a village, wealth and poverty, laxity and piety. Kinship has a negative influence. Sikhs should marry someone whose family (got) as denoted by surname is the same at the distance of the four grandparents.

Describe a Sikh wedding ceremony

The wedding will normally take place at the bride's village and may be celebrated on the flat rooftop, in a courtyard, garden or in the gurdwara - anywhere so long as the Guru Granth Sahib is present. The groom's party, traditionally comprised only of men, but mixed in many Diaspora weddings, will have arrived in the village on the previous evening and the formal meeting (milani) of the two families will have taken place. The wedding is celebrated in the morning. The congregation gathers as if for a normal service. When Asa di Var, the morning hymn, has been sung the groom comes forward and takes his place at the foot of the Adi Granth. The bride then joins the congregation and sits at the left side of the groom attended by a friend. Whoever conducting the marriage asks the couple and their parents to stand whilst he or she prays that God will bless the marriage. A short hymn is sung which contains general advice:
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The concept of Sikh marriage is explained by one of the ragis or by the officiant. Marriage is not a social contract but aims at the fusion of two souls into one. It is analogous to the union of god and man, which is the goal of Sikh piety. Various hymns give advice on marriage:

The bride and groom publicly assent to the marriage by bowing towards the Guru Granth Sahib. When they have sat down again after Ardas, the bride's father comes forward, to garland the Guru Granth Sahib, his daughter and the groom and tie ...

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