- PROTECTION
The father is not only to provide, but also to protect. Most fathers are quick to provide physical protection for their children. Dr. George Truett told a story about a man who many years ago was driving his wagon with a team of horses on a country road. Somehow, the horses became frightened, and they rushed on despite all his efforts to restrain them. Eventually, he was thrown from the wagon, but he held on to the lines, as on and on the frightened horses ran. He was dragged over fields and rocks and stones and bushes. His neighbours saw him and called to him to let go (to release the reins), and yet he held on until at last his weight brought the horses to a standstill. When the neighbours came up and found him bleeding and bruised so that in a little while he died, they could not restrain their protest. "Why didn't you let the horses go; why didn't you turn them loose?" He whispered in reply, "Look in the wagon." They looked in the wagon, and there was his two-year-old boy. The father had given his life to save his little boy from tragic death. Such behaviour is commendable and is worthy of our applause.
However fathers need to realize that another way to protect the children is to remember the power of influence that they have on their children. They must watch what the say and do around children of young age. There is a song entitled “Watching You” by Rodney Atkins that goes:
“Driving through town just my boy and me
With a happy meal in his booster seat
Knowing that he couldn't have the toy
Till his nuggets were gone
A green traffic light turned straight to red
I hit my brakes and mumbled under my breath
His fries went a flying and his orange drink covered his lap
Well then my four year old said a four letter word
That started with "s" and I was concerned
So I said son now where did you learn to talk like that
He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
We got cowboy boots and camo pants
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you”
Fathers are invested with authority in the family, and therefore have much influence on their children, especially with the boys, either for good or for evil. If the father has a good influence over their children and they emulate it then the father is doing what God wants him to do. Another part of the same song goes:
We got back home and I went to the barn
I bowed my head and I prayed real hard
Said Lord please help me help my stupid self
Then this side of bedtime later that night
Turning on my son's Scooby Doo nightlight
He crawled out of bed and he got down on his knees
He closed his little eyes, folded his little hands
And spoke to God like he was talking to a friend
And I said son now where'd you learn to pray like that
He said I've been watching you dad, ain't that cool
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food and grow as tall as you are
We like fixing things and holding mama's hand
Yeah we're just alike, hey ain't we dad
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you
May it never be said of them that they made their children to sin.
- PRAYER
It is important that fathers pray for the family. Fathers commit a great sin when they fail to pray for their family. One father who lived near the Mississippi River was a man of great wealth. One day his oldest boy met with an accident and was brought home unconscious. Everything the man could humanly do to restore the injured son was done but it was all in vain. Time passed, and after a terrible suspense, the son recovered consciousness. "My son," the father whispered, "the doctor tells me you are dying." "Oh!" said the boy, "you never prayed for me, father; won't you pray for my soul now?" The father wept. He had never prayed.
God has committed children to fathers, and part of their responsibility is to prey for them.
- SEXUAL GRATIFICATION OF MARITAL PARTNERS
A satisfying sexual relationship is one of the keys to a quality marital relationship fathers should make sure that as a husband the give some attention to their wife as well as there children and appeal to the sexual needs of the spouse. Love them both equally; maintain a godly relationship and the family will have no problems.
Mother
The mother’s responsibilities are someone what the same as the Father’s. She too must be godly and take her responsibility seriously.
- PROVISION
In most Families to day mother can also be the one to provide for their family as well as the father. Nowhere in the bible does it say that a woman is not allowed to work to support her own family. Mother’s can provide resources, such as money, food, clothing, and shelter, for all family members is one of the most basic, yet important, responsibilities within a family.
- NURTURANCE
Nurturing and supporting other family members is primarily an affective role and includes providing comfort, warmth, and reassurance for family members.
- MAINTENANCE AND MANAGEMENT OF THE FAMILY SYSTEM
This fourth role involves many tasks, including leadership, decision making, handling family finances, and maintaining appropriate responsibilities with respect to extended family, friends and neighbours. Other responsibilities of this role include maintaining discipline and enforcing behavioural standards. It is important that the mother help the father in setting boundaries or guidelines and also disciplining the children. They should recognize that their children are born with a sinful human nature. David confessed, "Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me" (Psalm 51:5). The Word of God makes it clear that it is the great responsibility of the parent, especially the father, to restrain the child from growing up in conformity with his sinful nature. "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him" (Proverbs 22:15).
- SEXUAL GRATIFICATION OF MARITAL PARTNERS
A satisfying sexual relationship is one of the keys to a quality marital relationship. Mothers should make sure that as a wife the give some attention to their wife as well as their children and appeal to the sexual needs of the spouse. Love them both equally; maintain a godly relationship and the family will have no problems.
Chapter 4
Divorce has been one of the causes of the changes in the Bahamian family do you agree or disagree. Give reason to support your answer.
I agree before the Bahamian marriages were once entered into for long periods, back then they knew the meaning of “Till death do us part…” This happened because two people came together to declare their love for each other, get married and have lots of kid. Even if one spouse had children outside of the a marriage which was also common in ancient days would still be welcomed in to the home and excepted by all their other siblings. However, times have changed and marriages no longer last as long as they should. It seems that nowadays people are using any and every excuse to get a divorce whether it’s a big issue such as cheating, which is understandable, or if it’s over a simple argument.
According to an article on by Barrington H. Brennen, August 4, 2004 “Statistically, one out of every five marriages (1/5) in The Bahamas ends up in divorce. There were 2,366 resident marriages and 503 divorces in 2000. That is 25 percent of resident marriages in The Bahamas end up in divorce each year. The crude divorce rate (that is how many divorces per 1000 population) for 2000 was 1.5 divorces per 1000 population.” Now there is no way to prove this opinion statistically but just by what happens in this country if not majority, some of those marriages ended because both partners refuse to work out their problems themselves, and those who know they cannot get a legal separation take it upon themselves to separate never to come in contact again.
These same petty divorces or separations can cause create confusion and great harm when a child is involved. They fail to realize that their decision affect not only them but also the child as well all they can think about is “I wan’ her out my house right na!” or “I wan’ get as far away from him as possible!” and the totally ignore the child feelings completely. The article continues “Children seem to play a big factor in divorce decisions. Couples with zero to three children were more likely to get divorced than couples with a great number of children. Look at the statistical breakdown from the 503 divorces in 2000. No children, 172 divorces; one child, 133 divorces; 2 children, 110 divorces; three children, 61 divorces; four children 16 divorces; six children, 1 divorce; eight to nine children, no divorce; ten or more children, four divorces. Is this saying that there is a better guarantee of staying together in marriage if you have lots of children?” If this is so then the Bahamian people have fallen, and how many people take into the consideration of what happens to these children after the divorce. Some feel as if they have to grow up and take care of their one parent. Here’s the change in the family, the child whether young or adolescent, feels that they must grow up before time and take care of things that are their concern and put off every youthful activity the are involved in to do this. I ask you is it fair? No it’s not fair to let a child feel that they need to give up their youth yet this is what’s happening.
On the other hand divorce is not what’s changing the family. Times have changed and there are other things such as all the stresses of the outside world. Drugs, sex, violence, crime, money and murder are just of the things that are changing families today for one reason or another. No matter what is done it can’t be helped one of these problems will affect a family in one way or the other we can’t only blame the changes on divorce.
I believe that divorce is changing the families today because everybody must adapted to the changes of the separation and some, like the child, may not cope as well as they should.
Chapter 5
To what extent does the change of Bahamian Family structure lead to many social problems in our society today?
The change of Bahamian Family structure has the most affect on young people in our society because most of the social problems faced here deal with young people. Now a days it seems that as young people we are getting caught doing various crimes and getting mixed up in premarital sex and so on. One must wonder why? Well it begins in the home and particularly for young men who grow up in a home where there is no male figure to teach them right from wrong. It was recorded that there were 87,742 Households in the Bahamas, 50,140 of these households’ were non-married parents live together that’s 57.5%, that means only 37,602 households were married parents live (42.5%).
With so many unstable families it’s no wonder some children look for love in other places, which can sometimes be the wrong place. The young men seem to find the respect that they long for when they “hang with the boys” doing all sorts of wring things like stealing, killing, having sex with any and everyone, and the one I really don’t get, failing out of school just to become “one of the boys”. This is a huge problem as these boys either end up dead or in jail. The Royal Bahamas Police force on Juvenile felons took these records.
It seems male juvenile’s were charged with more crimes then females. This is because these young men didn’t have a father figure in their lives to tell them right from wrong and they dismissed everything that their mother’s tried to teach them.
Girls as well as boys fall at the hands of peer pressure as they a prompted to do many thing but the most common problem girls seem to get mixed up in is pre martial sex, teenage pregnancy and other things that come under that category. It sometimes doesn’t even mean that there isn’t a mother in their life but there are other causes of this problem. Such as abuse, sexual, emotional or physical, all of these can lead to a girl feeling as if she is not loved so the first boy to tell her that they love her can easily manipulate her to do thing that she shouldn’t. Here are some statistics on the people that are normally reported to have raped a girl.
The Bahamian structure of families is in complete and total chaos. It use to be that your family contain your mother father and your sibling, but now it’s totally different. We now have “baby mamas” and “baby daddies” and when no body wants to take responsibility for their child the dump them off to the nearest relative or friend and that’s it. That is why so many young people make the choices that they make. Without strong family morals instil in them from a young age young people will continue to contribute to the growing epidemic that is social problems.
Chapter 6
What is a social problem?
A social problem is a social condition that society views as harmful to members of society and in need of solving. Social problems may vary to different communities, groups and people. For example nonsmokers view smoking as a social problem that should be banned in public places but smokers would not see it in that way obviously because they enjoy smoking. Some social problems we face here in the Bahamas are: Crime, Violence, Drug abuse, Environmental problems, Teenage pregnancy etc…
Combating Social Problems
In today’s society families are faced with many social problems, whether at school, society and even in the workplace, and there are many way in which to combat them.
For those social problems that take place at school parents can help their children combat this by teaching them by the what is right and what is wrong at an early age so that they can know what to do and what not to do. As the children get older and became teenagers parents need to play a very active role in their lives and make sure that they talk to them so that they know about all the things they will face now that they are young adults. Telling them about the danger of peer pressure could be the best conversation you ever have with your child. Keeping a close relationship with your child doesn’t mean, as some parents think it does, becoming your child’s friend instead of a parent because that can lead to many problems that you would like to prevent, just talk to the child and let them remain open with you. That is a good parent child relationship.
For the social problems many adult find in the workplace such as violence, and employee under appreciation they can easily be combated by simply talking it out with your spouse, or getting advice for friends and family on how to cope with the stress of work. As an adult you will find yourself still being pressured to do the wrong thing but you must control yourself and do what you know is right even when you don’t want to because how could you as an adult tell you child to keep a leveled head in school and stay out of fight when you don’t at work. Parent must remember to set a good example for their children no matter what. As the great singer Whitney Houston say in one of her songs “I believe the children are our future teach them well and let them lead the way show them all the beauty the possess in side give them a sense of pride to make it easier...” Parents set the pace for the new generation they should do their best to make sure the live up to what is expected of them so that their children can see how they need to behave in certain situations.
Know matter where or what the social problem is the most important way to combat it is that they family must stick together and remain close to God and his teachings. One the family has achieved a solid spiritual relationship with God and not just the parents but the children as well. God said that he would never put more on yo that you can’t bear and once you know what God expects you to do then you will have no problem combating any problem.
